Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

If at first you don’t succeed…

… fuck it up one more time. Oh wait, that’s not how it goes. Well, something like that. Keep trying, in other words. Eventually, hopefully, something will happen.

So earlier this week, I got a message from a guy on FetLife. Local, wrote a nice note, interesting in spanking. Also tickling, which is not my thing. But I figured since he was polite, I’d be polite back, and wrote my own nice note in return. Figured that was it, but he kept writing, so we exchanged a few messages.

I thought, maybe? Who knows. He seemed smart and interesting. But a couple of things were bothering me. One, he had no profile filled out, only a lot of different quotes. He had no pictures of himself, only one of his arm. And he wrote in slash/speak.

For those who aren’t familiar, it’s a D/s protocol. The dominants refer to themselves in upper case, and the subs in lower case. The dominant will write Me and My and so forth capitalized, whereas the sub writes their name in lower case, “i” in lower case, etc. And if they are talking about both people? Slashes. W/we. O/our. Etc.

If, and I mean IF, you are in a relationship with that dynamic, and both parties are good with it, it’s fine. But if you’re talking to a stranger who doesn’t necessarily subscribe to that protocol, you shouldn’t assume to use it. It’s annoying and distracting, and comes off as arrogant and pretentious to someone like me who isn’t into it.

So I kidded him about it. He said I was bratting (which I was). Meanwhile, we had established that our schedules were opposite, we lived far from each other, I hate phone calls and he hates texting. It wasn’t looking good. But you know, desperate times. I tried one more time. I said that I’m a writer/editor, and it offends my sensibilities to see otherwise good writing hacked up with a bunch of slashes and unnecessary capitalizations, or improper lower casing. That I don’t respect capital letters; I respect people. And I added a smiley face to soften it.

On Thursday night, he wrote back. One portion read, “I don’t care what you think about capitalization, little one. Deal with it.” He added a winky face. It didn’t help. All that resonated was “I don’t care what you think.” And at this point, I was a stranger. I was not his “little one.” I was done.

I wrote a polite note back, saying that I didn’t think we were compatible, there were too many differences in what we seek, but I wished him luck and thanked him for the outreach.

His last communication to me read: “Very well, young lady. I’m not one to jump through hoops nor am I one to change My ways just to get into a lovely woman’s panties. Be good.” Sheesh. At least he didn’t call me a girl.

However, this mini-saga has a good ending. I was so damn frustrated after three days of wasting time with this exchange, and left at square one once again. I was sick to death of all work and no play. So I got up my nerve, and contacted someone I’ve known for some time, who is local, but so far we have only played with each other at 50 Freaks and Shadow Lane. And every time we do, we have a great time, and say “We should get together in L.A.!” and then promptly forget about it until the next party. I decided to put myself out there and ask him if he wanted to play.

I wrote a nice message, saying that I was dealing with a dearth of play lately, and while I didn’t have the time or desire to go through the whole vetting process of finding a new play partner, it sure would be fun if I had a local friend with whom I could get together, hang out and play when it suited our busy schedules. I said that he and I had already played, we knew we had good chemistry, the trust factor had already been established, so this could be mutually beneficial. What were his thoughts on making this happen?

Within minutes, he replied. “My thoughts? Count me in! When are you available?”

So, long story short, he’s coming over this Tuesday afternoon. I am slam-jammed with work and truth be told, I am not available, but screw it. I need this. My mental and emotional health need this. I’ll get the work done somehow, and if I skip the gym, screw that too. My body needs a different kind of workout right now. 😀

I guess I should thank Mr. Slash/Speak. If I hadn’t had the encounter with him, I don’t think I would have had the frustration-fueled nerve to put myself out to this other man.

Fingers crossed that it doesn’t fall through. Wish me luck.

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20 thoughts on “If at first you don’t succeed…

  1. bklynny0856 on said:

    Sounds like fun. Have a spanking good time.


  2. You just needed a little push. Good for you.


  3. Jade Mathias on said:

    Hi Erica I am so happy this is going to happen for you i will keep my fingers crossed have fun and good luck 🙂☺Love you ❤


  4. Anonymous on said:

    I laughed out loud at the first paragraph! Sounds about right! So you do the spanking thing with a partner, but then your intimate life is completely separate? Is it stress relief for you? Or is it sexy, too? If you’re not comfortable answering my questions, then please don’t. My dynamic is different with my husband so I am just curious as to how others get their needs met. Windy


  5. Sandy Mackie on said:

    I cannot understand how someone like you would suffer from a dearth of play.


  6. Dorota on said:

    good luck with your date on Tuesday afternoon


  7. This is such a nice turn of events! I especially like his immediate, positive, and enthusiastic reply to your query about his thoughts on getting together. As someone more eloquent than I once said, “this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”


  8. Anonymous on said:

    Mr. Slash/speak sounds like a complete asshole and gives me the creeps. I can’t believe the way he spoke to you! So rude and condescending. Buh-bye loser with no profile. Tuesday sounds awesome and I hope that both of you have a wonderfully fun time! Laura


  9. bklynny — I hope to!

    Rox — yeah, I reckon I did.

    Jade — thanks, hon.

    Windy — questions don’t bother me at all. I am able to compartmentalize my spanking play and keep it separate from my relationship with John. There is always a degree of intimacy, because it’s a physically and emotionally intimate activity, but it’s on a different level than what I share with John. Hard to explain sometimes, since everyone is different. I love my play partners — I’m IN love with John. He comes first. Play partners are for friendship and play, and stress relief, and yes, they are sexy too, but I don’t involve sexual activity in them. Make any sense?

    Sandy — well… it’s complicated. For one thing, I have little availability. And for another, I’m very particular.

    Dorota — thank you!

    Pam — yeah, the response was gratifying! I am hoping this could be the start of something, but you know how that goes. I’m taking it a day — and a scene — at a time.

    Laura — he was a wee bit arrogant, ’tis true. A bit of ADD (Almighty Dom Disorder). And no, I can’t claim credit for that initialism.


    • Thanks for answering my questions, Erica! Yes, it makes sense. I was curious because it is very sexual for my husband and I and I wondered if it was for all gals or most of us. I am glad you are getting your needs met with your play partners and then differently with your John, and I think I understand that it is intimate with both yet different. Windy


  10. Good for you Erica. I guess the old adage is true sometimes. Every cloud has a silver lining.


  11. Well – hope it works out!


  12. Hooray for this happy ending!


  13. Erica, Hope it works out well. Good luck.



  14. Anonymous on said:

    So Erica .. I was surprised (and not in a bad way) to see that you were still open to playing with new potential partners. I must admit that being older than you and out of the scene for some years it
    is encouraging. When I was active at Shadow Lane I met you once at one of the North Hollywood Parties and was surprised at your stamina. This was many years ago and I was with one of the earlier Shadow Lane actresses. So, I was surfing the net the other day and came across a video scene of you on the receiving end of a sound hairbrush spanking by one of the current active players. Your bottom was quite red and I think he was using one of those Shadow Lane wood brushes. I can only say that I was very impressed with your very real performance. I have many great memories from Southern California and would make a point of visiting twice a year. In 1985 I had the unique experience of playing with Kiri Kelly in North Hollywood we had so much fun that I stopped by the night before I flew home and we played again. Gotta go …. but glad you are still active and enjoying the scene.


    The Grinch from Chicago Bah Humshit!


    • Hiya Grinch! Thank you for the kind words. I’ve had the time of my life since I got into this scene and I am not ready to give it up. The body is older, my free time is a lot less, but the spirit is still willing and feisty. Video-wise, I keep thinking I’m retired, but I’ve shot as recently as a couple of months ago, a custom request. I never got to meet Kiri Kelly, but I have heard all good things about her.


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