Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Get your ho-hos here? Probably not.

It’s that time of year again, kids. The holidays. Where I get melancholy and grumpy. (Or more so than usual.) This year, for various reasons, seems particularly sucky. Not just for me, but for so many others. I’m not even going to mention the people who have been shot to death, or burned out of their homes. (OK, I just mentioned them. I suck.) I’m thinking about the average day-to-day folks just struggling to keep their heads above water and keep treading uphill.

Today on Twitter, a trending hashtag is #InternationalMensDay. Which grates on my nerves right off the bat, because it’s missing an apostrophe and I hate that Twitter doesn’t allow punctuation in hashtags. But never mind. Of course, there is all sorts of backlash to it, sneering about how “every day is men’s day,” and then a lot of counter-argument about how victimized men are and no one talks about it. But of course, then we’ll have #InternationalWomensDay and the same reactions will occur in reverse.

These days, it seems it sucks to be just about anyone.

Let’s review, shall we?

It sucks to be a man, because of the whole #MeToo thing and how any man can be ruined by an accusation. Because they’re supposed to be strong all the time and aren’t allowed to have any human weaknesses. Because they’re damned if they do and damned if they don’t a lot of the time. Because they’re either too macho or *gasp* “too sensitive.” And so on.

It sucks to be a woman, because unequal pay/sexual harassment and assault/being considered the weaker sex/etc./etc./etc. Because we’re responsible for birth control and yet old white men are trying to rule our bodies. Because we’re supposed to stay beautiful, fit, firm, and sexy, or else we’re rejected. And so on.

It sucks to be a person of color because racists hate you.

It sucks to be a Jew because antisemitic people hate you.

It sucks to be LGBTQ because homophobes and narrow-minded people hate you.

It sucks to be a millennial, because older people sneer at you and call you a whiny avocado toast eater.

It sucks to be older, because society basically rejects you as being past your prime and out of touch.

It sucks to be conservative, because the “tree-hugging snowflakes” hate you.

It sucks to be liberal, because the “MAGA-hat-wearing, gun-toting ‘Muricans'” hate you.

It sucks to be kinky, because vanilla people judge you.

It sucks to be vanilla, because kinky people think you’re boring.

It sucks to be an extrovert, because you need people all the time and people will ultimately fail you in one way or another.

It sucks to be an introvert, because when you finally really do need someone, there’s no one there.

It sucks to have family, because they drive you crazy.

It sucks to be alone, because you envy people who have family, even though you know that those families most likely drive them crazy.

Have I missed anything? I’m sure I have. I’m sure this list is infinite.

Now is the time to trot out all the adages, the homilies, the positives, the feel-good statements, right? Meh. I think the best advice I’ve gotten all year was this, from my delightfully acerbic and possibly kinky chiropractor, of all people:

“Life sucks. Learn to embrace the suckage.”

I’m trying, but sometimes I get so damn tired. And frustrated. And sad. And feeling like every damn step I take up, I take two back. And every time I think I’ve found people to trust and believe in, I’m proven wrong. Because no matter who you are, someone hates you. For whatever stupid reason.

For the most part, I like to think I’m a good judge of character. But this year, I have made such egregious errors, I’m questioning myself. And wondering if I can trust anyone.

As for all these #InternationalSoandSoDays on Twitter — since it basically sucks to be everyone in one way or another, and everyone is struggling to rise above the morass and be heard, can’t we just have an #InternationalEveryoneDay and be done with it??

I’m going back to work.


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14 thoughts on “Get your ho-hos here? Probably not.

  1. As usual, you know just the right thing to say.


  2. Jade Mathias on said:

    Hi Erica ❤ I totally agree with everything that you wrote. I hate it that there is so much hate in this world, people hate me because I was born with Special Needs, Society SUCKS they try to tell me who I am but that’s not the way it’s going to be, I tell them who I am, Who are they to judge me. It’s like I am not good enough ☹ I have trust issues as well, but I trust you and you can always trust me ☺ I Love you my beautiful awesome friend, hugs always xoxo 😍😘❤❤❤💕💖💗


  3. Sometimes the world does seem to just suck, especially at this time of year when we are supposed to be excited and happy about the coming holidays and all. However, I see much the same feelings in my wife every year about now. I can’t tell you how many winters I have accompanied her to marriage counselling to fix all that is wrong in our world. When we realized we were going always at the same time every year and coupled with articles about SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), we started addressing that issue and have had some positive results. She has a light box mounted in front of her treadmill which she walks on in winter (usually first thing in the morning) or on nicer days with bright Colorado sun, she walks outside in the mornings. It seems that the extra light and morning exercise have helped really diminish her wintertime blues and seems to work better than several years of different antidepressants as well. Also we try and schedule a trip south (preferably to the southern hemisphere) to find longer days about now and the trips always help improve both of our moods. Best wishes


    • Jade — I know you’ve been through some rough times, sweetie, and I’m sorry.

      Jon — Hi, are you new to my blog? I don’t recall seeing your name before. Anyway, if you’re new, you may not know yet that I’m a very strange person. Yes, SAD is indeed a thing for many. However, I am the opposite. The heat, the bright sunny days, and the light remaining until past 8:00 PM all get on my nerves! I love it when it gets dark at 5:00. I love the cooler weather. I love clouds and rain. Granted, I live in California, so I never have to endure a true winter. But the season that tends to make me the crankiest is summer. (Told ya I was strange.)


  4. Erica,
    Preach it, girl ! Here is something that makes me feel better about some of the things you’ve mentioned………

    Hugs! Windy


  5. Tom Koenig on said:

    GREAT POST!!!! The news every day is so depressing.


    • Windy — thank you! Yeah, it’s a little too late to worry about losing my mind, since it’s been gone for years, but this guy has some solid points. I’ve got the “withdraw” suggestion down perfectly.

      Tom — indeed it is.


  6. Let’s have an #InternationalLoveOurSucksDay


  7. lurker48 on said:

    I understand depression. I do not have it , but it gallops through my family! I jokingly say that I’m not on antidepressants because everyone else in my family is.
    My 1st wife had severe manic depression. My 2nd and current wife of 33 years has it mildly, but under control with medication. Both of my daughters have had to deal with it. The older sat out a full year after graduating valedictorian from high school due to depression, and still has residual from it. The younger has chronic low grade depression and has been on medication for years. My great grand mother spent the last half of her life in an insane asylum. I’m an extremely introspective introvert. I was extremely shy as a child. But, when I was going thru the extremely depressing divorce from my 1st wife, I made the decision that, come hell or high water, I was going to enjoy my life! I was going regard life’s setbacks as problems to be solved, I was going to make allies of my coworkers. I was not going to let the troubles of the world command my life. My life is mine to live. This has worked for me. Take command of your own happiness! It can be done.


    • Lurker — I do appreciate the sentiment of being in charge of one’s own happiness. Unfortunately, with chemical depression, it’s not that simple. You can’t talk your brain out of misfiring your serotonin any more than you can talk your pancreas into functioning properly so you don’t suffer with diabetes. It’s physical as well as psychological/emotional. I’ve been on antidepressants for about 25 years now; before them, I was barely functional.

      But I’m glad it worked for you, though. Sorry your family has had to deal with so much of it.


  8. 1) Love the picture LOL
    2) I know what you talking about. Seems like something sucks for everyone, and if it doesn’t you can be sure that someone outthere will make it a point to find something, regardless of how ridiculous it is. The really idiotic thing is that, as a species, we’ve actually never been better off than we are at this point, regardless of all the talk about global warming, 3rd wave feminism, #metoo etc.
    3) For a more positive spin on life here on the planet, you might want to considder browsing past this site once in a while: 😉
    I won’t send you Seasonal Greetings etc. at this point, because it’s too bloody early in the year! But as I recall, there’s something about Thanksgiving coming up tomorrow or something, so I hope you’ll get a chance to enjoy that day with John or someone else that matters in your life.


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