It’s parody time again, kids…
What, you were expecting something sentimental and Yuletide-y? Do you know me?
Anyway… it will surprise no one to read that I’m not feeling the holiday spirit this year. I’m actually working on Christmas Day, by choice. 1. I’m a Grinch, and a Jewish Grinch at that. 2. John is invited to his sister’s house for Christmas dinner. He made an excuse for me without even double-checking if there was a ghost of a chance I might want to go. Good man. I am so done with those people. So he and I will exchange our gifts this weekend.
However, even though I haven’t done this for the past couple of years, I felt the need to carry on my past tradition of writing spanking Christmas carol parodies. This year’s offering is to the tune of “Sleigh Ride.”
Just hear those paddles paddling, crack-crack-crackling too
Come on, it’s wood or leather, for a spanking together with you
You know the hands are falling with miscreants calling “Boo hoo!”
Oh yes, it’s wood or leather, for a spanking together with you
Pull ‘em down, pull ‘em down, pull ‘em way down, go
Right down to your toes
We’re starting with a bottom white as snow
Smack it up, smack it up, smack it harder, pow!
It’s getting red now
We’re spanking along with a song
Of a bratty girl’s dressing down
Our buns are red and rosy and sore and toasty are we
We’re planning pranks together like brats of a feather we’ll be
They’ll say “Oh, you’re in trouble!” and spank our bubble butts too
Come on, it’s wood or leather, for a spanking together with you
There’s a Red Room party at the home of Christian Grey,
He’s a poser but oh well we’re going anyway,
We’ll be writhing on laps of tops we love, and hoping they won’t stop
At the gathering while we watch the paddles pop: Pop! Pop! Pop!
There’s a stinging feeling nothing in the world can buy
When they pass around the spoons and straps and belts, oh my!
It’ll nearly be like a photograph in Janus Magazine
These wonderful toys that abound we’ll remember when we sit down!
Just hear those paddles paddling, crack-crack-crackling too
Come on, it’s wood or leather, for a spanking together with you
You know the hands are falling with miscreants calling “Boo hoo!”
Oh yes, it’s wood or leather, for a spanking together with you
Pull ‘em down, pull ‘em down, pull ‘em way down, go
Right down to your toes
We’re starting with a bottom white as snow
Smack it up, smack it up, smack it harder, pow!
It’s getting red now
We’re spanking along with a song
Of a bratty girl’s dressing down
Our buns are red and rosy and sore and toasty are we
We’re planning pranks together like brats of a feather we’ll be
They’ll say “Oh, you’re in trouble!” and spank our bubble butts too
Come on, it’s wood or leather, for a spanking together with youuuu!
I should throw in a disclaimer that never have I ever heard anyone actually say “Boo hoo!” But you know, artistic license. And I made myself laugh when I transformed the line “There’s a birthday party at the home of Farmer Gray.”
In closing, remember, Grumpy Cat sings,
“Deck the halls with clumps of furballs
Fa la la la la, go elf yourself!”
Have a great weekend, y’all. And all snark aside… I hope your holidays, whatever you celebrate, are happy. We could all use some cheer, I think. ♥
Have lots of fun in whatever you do. It’s been great having your snark again. Lots of cheer to you for 2019.
LikeLike
Hehe, I love it! 🎄❤
LikeLike
Haha! 🙂
Hoho!
Merry Christmas, Erica!
LikeLike
bklynny — I could use it. Thank you.
Lily — glad you like it, sis.
MrJ — same to you.
LikeLike
Your take on the holidays reminds me of the classic line from the Christmas movie Home Alone: Merry Christmas ya filthy animal.
LikeLike
Pam — filthy? Humph! I’ll have you know I just took a shower. (I would add a wink emoji, but stupid WordPress has something screwy in their comment formatting and the emojis end up at the beginning of the line instead of where you put them, which makes no damn sense.)
LikeLike
Wait, wait, wait – I am not calling YOU a filthy animal. I know you love bubble baths too much!! But you DO share that same “festive” holiday attitude as depicted in that line from the movie!
LikeLike
LOL — I knew that, silly! See, if I would have been able to add that damned wink emoji, all would be clear.
LikeLike
Hi Erica ❤ That pic and song parody are so funny Lol 😂 I Love it. Grumpy Cat is cute and funny as well 😂 I an glad that you don’t have to go to John’s family house for dinner that would totally SUCK, Merry Christmas to you and John ☺🎄🎁🎅 Love you my beautiful awesome friend.
LikeLike
Jade — thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
LikeLike
Nice one Erica, I really enjoyed that. Stay safe this holiday!
Yorkie
LikeLike
Yorkie — thank you. I will certainly try to do so.
LikeLike
thanks for sharing this with your devoted friends and followers, Erica
LikeLike
Dorota — thank YOU.
LikeLike
Erica –
Just catching up on your blog.
This was great and perhaps your best holiday parody?
Best,
Enzo
LikeLike
Enzo — thank you. I’ve had quite a few over the years. Not sure which one I like best.
LikeLike
Pingback: Okay, okay, here’s the real parody | Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking
Pingback: Uh oh, check the calendar… | Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking