Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Some things never change

No matter how many years you spend in TTWD, no matter how many experiences you have, how many things you try, how carefully you hone your own personal interpretation of your chosen kink to where it is fulfilling and joyous… there’s always going to be some nitwit out there telling you you’re doing it wrong.

A few years ago when I was playing regularly with He-Who-Is-No-Longer-In-The-Picture, we used to shoot a lot of goofy videos of our play, some of which I posted on Spanking Tube. One especially popular one was when I’d written a spanking parody of the Beatles song “If I Fell,” and he made me sing it on video — while being spanked.

I still get occasional comments on that one, positive ones saying that it was funny and entertaining. And then yesterday I got this — verbatim, poor grammar and missing punctuation intact:

A spanking not supposed to be fun its supposed to make her correct her bad behavior

Oh, yeah? Says you, illiterate one. Although you’re probably right in one respect: I doubt that spanking or any other kind of kink play is fun when you’re involved.

Who the hell are you, or anyone else, to say what spanking is “supposed” to be? Who are you to deny the unbridled joy that some of us feel indulging in a favorite pastime and fulfilling our desires? Spanking — and all other forms of kink/BDSM/what have you — means myriad things to countless people. There is no “supposed to.” There is no “one true way.” And to impose your rigid (and unsolicited) view and dump on someone else’s pleasure is most unwelcome.

Just a reminder, to anyone out there reading who is new to all this: Don’t let others tell you how you’re supposed to do this thing. Discover for yourself, through trial and error, through following your instincts, what works for you. If it’s discipline, great. If it’s for fun, that’s also great. If it’s a complex mix of the two, have at it. What pushes your buttons and brings you floaty joy, as long as it involves consenting adults, is what it’s supposed to be.

Tell you what, stupid stranger. I’ll go on doing my thing the way I like doing it; if that’s “bad behavior,” oh, well. Report me to the kink police, why don’t you. Or better yet, why don’t you work on correcting your bad grammar and mind your own fucking business, hmmm?

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Monday. Today, it is cold, dark and rainy outside. I have my heater running, warm clothes on, a full fridge, classical music serenely playing in the background, and plenty of work to keep me busy. I don’t have to go anywhere; I can work out in the apartment gym if I want to. I am safe and insulated and at peace in my little bubble.

I know the rain will end, outside life will encroach, and I will need to leave my bubble and re-enter a world that feels ugly and unkind to me. But for this moment, I wish I could stay in here forever.

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18 thoughts on “Some things never change

  1. Assholes will always be assholes. I had a couple of guys tell me, without even meeting me in person, that I was too old to start being spanked; that my bottom was undoubtedly too big, and other mean comments. I did not let them deter me. Why are folks so unkind to one another?


  2. Questergirl on said:

    G. and I have had some really funny play sessions. The last time I was in New York, we watched Mr. Holland’s Opus, and during our next play session he started singing “I’ve Got Rhythm” while he was spanking me, AND dancing. I was laughing so hard! LOL


  3. Those who insist on critiquing how someone they don’t even know personally participates in favored activities tend to be those who aren’t connected with others who share favored activities themselves. Such self-appointed superior beings should be completely ignored as the Debbie Downers they insist on being.


    • Questergirl — you’re doing it all wrong. How dare you laugh! Spanking is serious business, don’cha know.

      Neo — ignoring is good too. But I prefer ridiculing them.


      • I understand, Erica. But in ridiculing them, you give them a response and they know you read their comments. From your post, I gathered that you’d rather not be bothered.

        Just sayin’

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Chibob on said:

    As far as straightening out the clueless stranger, you go girl.
    I have found that the older I get, the more I prefer staying home and insulating myself from the outside world.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Neo — WordPress won’t let me reply to a reply to a reply in sequence! Argh. Anyway… yeah, I know. I don’t like the comments. But once I get them, I need to blow off a little steam at the frustration over their stupidity, you know? My blog has always been a place where I get to do that.


  6. Graham on said:

    IMO Erica, wankers like this do it to wind people up, hoping to get a reaction knowing they have got to you and hurt you, its natural to want to tell them to fuck off but I think if you just lol them you`ll get back at them much more.
    Not only should you do what you want with spanking but also in everything else. Who the hell has the right to tell anyone how they should live and what they should do………….


    • Graham — wankers indeed. I blame the internet. Ever since the anonymity of faceless posting became a thing decades ago, some think everyone is entitled to their opinion and critiques. Much of the time, I ignore. Other times I have a bit of fun with it.


  7. Anon Y. Mouse on said:

    Brothers and sisters! can I have an AMEN! for the Jewish lady in the front row?
    She’s a strong witness for the truth.

    The witless will always be with us but that doesn’t mean that fools must be suffered gladly.

    Anon Y. Mouse


  8. Very enlightening – on the sender.


  9. Dorota on said:

    your light seems to be a little dim at the moment Erica but you are still the brightest star in the spanko galaxy


  10. I am touched Erica that you appreciate little messages of support and encouragement, you seem to have a way of connecting with your spanko kindred spirits which is not a quality found in many bloggers.


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