Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Have you seen this woman?

mirror

She seems to have disappeared.

Only her beloved knows where she is these days. He’s the only person who can enter her abyss.

She hadn’t played in months. She wants to, very much. But hasn’t been able to ask for what she needs. Not since voicing her needs and revealing her vulnerability ended up gutting her.

She does her work. She works out. She functions. Always, she functions. But she’s frozen from within.

Can anyone find her? Perhaps this will help.

She used to look like this…

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But now, she mostly looks like this…

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If you find her, perhaps you can help her find her confidence. Her self-esteem. Her strength and bravery. Her belief in other people.

Perhaps you can tell her who she can trust.

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20 thoughts on “Have you seen this woman?

  1. tashaelizabethhart on said:

    Sis, you are my hero.

    Always have been, always will be.

    You gave me an example to follow, a confidence and a hope that I could maybe do, even once, what you’ve been doing for all these years.

    Getting to do that in front of you was the highlight of my scene life, and I will never have thanks enough.

    Love you sis, now get out there and be you, get that mojo fired up, I and many others believe in you.

    Tash

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  2. I am so very sorry you are lost. Please get back out there where you belong.

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  3. Bob Cathcart on said:

    Erica Hello again …

    You are an intriguing fascinating lady I must say.

    I don’t know you. But I appreciate you. I’m sorry you are in so much pain.

    Love Rob

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

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  4. Erica,
    My Beloved is fortunately the one who spanks me, but even within our ttwd relationship, we have had what I call implosions….. where I get really upset because my spanking needs aren’t being met even after long discussions and thinking we were back on the same page. It’s really embarrassing for me to want, expect, and explain the spanking and when my husband has fumbled on the delivery for whatever reason, I feel stupid for even asking and vulnerable when I have been left hanging…….. we always work it out, but those are my feelings. And then I am less trustful in this area for a while. I cannot imagine having to try to find someone to trust to meet my spanking needs outside of our marriage. I don’t know how you have done it and I am sorry that you have been hurt …….. I would be hurt, too. Just know that whatever happened isn’t YOUR fault……. the other person couldn’t step up or wouldn’t……. I think you know where Erica is……. she’s in there somewhere. I hope you find her soon. Hang in there! Windy

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  5. I think you are great. I’ll be here, waiting for you. I have faith you can do this, this too.

    Your book is really good too. I see incidents in it that are to home. That is a real comfort. Of course I’m on the other side of them, but they are just as real on my side, and fun to see from your side.

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  6. Isn’t there a party you booked a room for? I thought that was this weekend.

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  7. I’ve been meaning to try and email you for a while, Erica. I want to say #RUOK? But it’s kinda clear you’re struggling. I hope your life balances itself out again soon, but in the meantime we love you anyway.

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  8. Take care of yourself, Erica. There are a lot of people out here who are wishing you well at this clearly very difficult time. You are not alone….

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  9. maybe its just the rhythm of time and world weariness setting in, Erica. Why resist it? You have served us well over the years, its all right to be kind to yourself and have a little rest now.

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  10. Once again I find myself wishing that we weren’t on opposite sides of the Earth Erica, because this is another of those moments that make me want to try to reach out and offer you a hand. In this case to take a dive into the abyss you mention, and have a search for the lovely lady whose mere writing in this blog, has managed to touch me. I might emerge from that abyss again alone, carrying only a torch, but I’d like to believe that perhaps there’d be a slim chance that I’d emerge with the lost lady in tow…
    I think there are more people than me, dear Erica, who would be willing to have a stab at shining a light into your abyss, in the hope that one of them might become the light at the end of the tunnel you’re going through at the moment.
    I hope you’ll find the part of you that’s gone missing soon. All the best.

    Kyrel aka. Christian

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  11. Yes, I’ve seen her. She is a good friend of mine, who makes herself vulnerable and open, is kind-hearted and thoughtful, and writes about her weaknesses because she is incredibly honest about herself. I am so thankful to know you and have you in my life.

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  12. Who can she trust? So long as she can trust herself she will be just fine

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  13. If there what not this big pond, I would right now go out and find her! Instead, now, I am sending so e positive energy. Will keep doing so three times a day, untill she makes appeaarnce again,.
    She can’t be missed by too many people, including myself, to have her stay in the dark.
    And,m most importantly, she deserves being in the light.

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  14. Tasha, my darling — I appreciate your kind words. You never needed any sort of example from me; you are one of the bravest souls I know.

    Rox — thank you. At the moment, I don’t know where I belong.

    Rob — thank you.

    Windy — you’re very sweet. Our kink dynamics are very different; as you are a DD practitioner, it stands to reason that your husband, your life mate, would be your disciplinarian. Spanking is a very different thing to me, complex and difficult to explain, and one of the strangest parts is that I prefer having play partners outside of my primary relationship. It certainly makes things more challenging; always has. When it works, it’s wonderful. When it doesn’t… it really sucks.

    Mark — glad my book is still out there resonating with people.

    Bob — that party is in two weeks. I will canceling that reservation.

    Terri — definitely not OK. But appreciate the caring; thank you.

    Owen — thank you.

    Dorota — I dunno. Weariness is soul-deep and has been with me as long as I can remember. I used to know how to rise above it, but that skill seems to escape me now.

    Kyrel/Christian — what a kind soul you are.

    Pam — thank you, my friend. Too damned vulnerable, I think. It’s time to stop that.

    Graham — ultimately, I suppose ourselves are all we can trust for sure.

    MrJ — thank you. Darkness is kinder now. Bright lights are harsh and unforgiving.

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  15. There’s nothing more miserable than protracted misery I am glad John is there, and some other help you can hold on to right now. Maybe I should have some good chicken soup delivered. But you definitely have my love.

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  16. Anon Y. Mouse on said:

    Start by taking the garbage out. Now rummage around and you’ll find her in there somewhere.

    Lord knows how I miss her!

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  17. I think she may be hiding on twitter like I sometimes do where the response time is quicker and events are over and gone much sooner

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