Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Another Curious Cat question (plus some Spanking 101)

I enjoy the Curious Cat app where people can anonymously ask others questions. Sometimes, I get some really interesting, thought-provoking stuff. (Other times, not so much. But I digress.) Last week, I received this question:

When my husband paddles my bottom, he likes to constantly change the speed, location, and hardness of the whacks. He says he does that to hold my attention. I say no fair. What do you think?

Wellllllllll… you’re gonna hate me for this, honey. And I’ll agree, it’s not fair. But count your blessings with this one. At least your husband is trying to keep it stimulating and varied. Do you really need to know everything that’s coming, down to every last swat? (Honestly, I don’t. I like the element of surprise in my play — keeps it interesting.) I mean, would you really want what I call a “metronome spanking”?


For those who never had endless music lessons, a metronome is a device that keeps time and tempo. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

Therefore, a metronome spanking is repetitive. Back and forth. Back and forth. Right. Left. Right. Left. Over and over and over. Same spot. Same tempo. Same intensity. Same…. Zzzzzzz.

If you ever find yourself on the receiving end of one of these, I suggest you grab the nearest reading material. Perhaps mentally plan your grocery list. Or find a patch of wet paint and watch it dry. Because a metronome spanking is a total. Fucking. BORE.

And there’s really no excuse for a spanking to be boring. All it takes is a little imagination. Change it up a bit. It’s not that difficult. Use different speeds and strengths. Maybe a flurry on one side, then the other, instead of the usual back and forth. And for heaven’s sake, don’t hit the same central spot on each cheek over and over. Move it around.

Yeah, I know — that part gets a bit scary. There are many spots to avoid. You don’t want to hit too high, and you don’t want to wrap out to the sides. But the butt has plenty of real estate, even ones on the smaller side like mine. You can vary the coverage greatly and keep your bottom guessing.

And yes, there is the territory directly under the butt — the sweet spot, AKA the sit spot. The place you feel when you sit the next day. How far down that goes is up to the individual players. Some people keep it to just an inch or so, the juncture where ass connects to thigh. Others wander down a bit, covering upper thighs. This is where it gets tricky. Generally, this hurts a lot more, and you can probably use a lighter smack there. And the lower you go, the more painful it tends to be. I daresay that if you strike someone’s mid-thigh as hard as you strike their bottom, you might get your eardrums blown out with their scream. So do use some common sense.

I would say this picture represents good full bottom coverage. Notice it doesn’t go too far out to the sides, no wrapping around the hip. And how even it is.


And if it goes a bit further below the butt, that’s acceptable too. Again, know your play partner.

I’m not going to get into hitting other places. Because — to me — that isn’t spanking. Slapping breasts and genitals? Not spanking. Caning calves? Not spanking. I don’t like being struck anywhere but on the butt and upper-upper thighs, but to each their own. Many years ago, I was in the middle of a scene with a partner who usually could read my body like a book. But for whatever reason that night, he had a brain freeze and decided to strike the soles of my bare feet with something or another. Yeah… I came this close to ending the scene. I also came this close to kicking backward and launching his sinuses out the back of his head. Don’t hit stuff that usually isn’t hit unless you have a partner’s consent! I’m not saying “No edge play.” I’m just saying don’t spring it on someone unless you know they welcome that sort of thing. Or are at least open to it.

I have a love/hate thing with upper thigh spanking. Being spanked on the sweet spot is intense and I do like the feeling of it when I’m sitting later. But going further down can mark like hell and I am ambivalent about it. Sometimes I think it’s hot and other times the marks horrify me. I suppose, for me, a little of it goes a long way.

Perhaps it’s summed up best to say I don’t always want to look like this. Maybe once in a while, from someone I trust. And with a lot of aftercare.



(The second picture was taken two days after a thigh-intensive spanking. Note that my bottom is completely pristine, while my thighs retained the impression a lot longer.)

So to my anonymous Curious Cat friend, forgive me. But please do go give your husband a hug and a kiss. Because as dastardly as he is, trust me — a spanking that keeps you guessing is much better than one that puts you to sleep. 😉

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16 thoughts on “Another Curious Cat question (plus some Spanking 101)

  1. harrymetwho on said:

    How wonderful to have my technique validated by royalty. Don’t stop blogging E.


  2. Michael on said:

    I have a question/misgiving/possible objection. Maybe. Obviously if you don’t like metronome spankings, then that’s that — you have every right to your preferences. But in general, across the scene … don’t some spankees want to relax, don’t they see a spanking as almost like a massage (butt massage?), don’t they want to go into subspace (a word I am reluctant to type because it can start a heated discussion over whether there even is such a thing)? When I’ve watched you play at parties, you never seemed to want to bliss out, but that’s a party — getting TOO relaxed might not even be safe. You want to keep your wisecracking edge start to finish. But in private play it seems like you’ve written about relaxing into the spanking and feeling blissful (if not subspaced-out, exactly). Wouldn’t a steady, predictable spanking be better for that? You don’t WANT anything to get your attention, you don’t want anything to break the mood, you want to be able to drift away on the endorphins.

    Or at least that’s what I THOUGHT, until now. So tell me why I’m wrong.


  3. I agree such a regular rhythm can seem boring. That is my usual first reaction. I prefer to change it up.

    However, I’ve encountered a couple of women who can ride a spanking a long way to near an orgasm, and for them regularity seemed to help them get there. Changing it up threw them off what they wanted.

    I enjoyed giving those spankings too. I’ve liked ’em all. Every one.

    So I’d ask, how does it work for her? Does “no fair” mean she isn’t getting to what she wants? Does it mean he’s giving her too much for her limits? I suspect a problem, but from what is quoted I don’t see an answer.

    In spanking as much as all sex, different strokes for different folks, and for different partners of each person.


  4. Michael — you bring up a valid point. Actually, I do like to bliss out and enjoy subspace, for lack of a better term, but it takes a certain amount of push to get me there. I know there are different types of spankings. I wasn’t really considering the relaxing, massage-y ones. But even those don’t have to be repetitive and boring. When you get a real massage, does the masseur/euse use the same strokes, the same strength, rub the same area over and over with no variation? There is sensuality in varied stimuli, I think. For many, being able to fully relax involves a bit of pain — whether it’s from impact play, a vigorous massage, a tough workout, etc. But you’re right — it takes all kinds.

    Mark — you too bring up a valid point. I suppose a rhythmic spanking can indeed bring on an orgasm. I’ve never achieved that from spanking, and I’ve never really considered that to be a goal. But like you said, different strokes.

    As for the wife in question, I get the feeling there really isn’t a problem. I could be wrong, but her “no fair” sounded playful, like the type of mock complaining I do.


    • Erica,

      I’ve been following your Curious Cat responses and I love your Q&A! Those questions really are all over the map.

      Randy considers the metronome spanking technique to be just one more form of keeping me off balance. Before I lock in, he’s off on some other tempo and attack pattern.

      I appreciate your discussion of appropriate spanking targets. I see videos and photos where the spanker strikes only the crest of the bottom and totally ignores the sit-spots. Or maybe worse, they pound one side and neglect the other. I’m open to all sorts of spanking, but I would dislike those and perhaps ask him to fix it.

      Thank you for sharing your insight!


    • I wrote “near an orgasm.” For me it requires the right partner (a lover) in the right setting (not a public party), for things to become extremely interesting and an awful lot of fun without getting all the way there just from the spanking. “Near to” is a very interesting place, without the spanking taking her the whole way by itself. It is fun just to remember.


  5. I think Harry was right about “royalty” Erica as you are the queen of spanking bloggers


  6. Anonymous on said:

    Part of the fun is finding out what works. Communication usually makes for the best and most equitable decisions.

    After all, being paddled with a ruler isn’t the same as being ruled.

    Anon E. Mouse


    • Dorota — I appreciate that vote of confidence, but I believe that handle belongs to Bonnie of My Bottom Smarts.

      Mouse — it isn’t??
      Yes, you’re right, communication is key. But a little imagination never hurts either.


  7. harrymetwho on said:

    See Erica, I am not alone in my view. You are long standing, you are single minded in what you want and what you don’t want, yet you are open and humble to your followers. For those of us that live in a mutually fruitful and (of course) consensual Ds dynamic, where the submissive partner embraces submissive acts but is unable to vocalize their preferences, voices such as yours offer choices and reasoning in the paths that are available. Queen you are and queen you’ll stay with a fine behind and a loyal following.


  8. When I was a young teen, some well-meaning biddy tried to explain the Special Sanctity of Sex with the metaphor, “After all, chocolate cake every day would be boring!”

    Being a well-brought up young person, and appreciating the kindness she was trying to do, I said nothing aloud, but in my head, I responded, “Are you fucking kidding?! I could relish chocolate cake four times a day and never tire of it– peach cobbler, even more so!!”

    To everything there is a season (turn, turn, turn her over your lap) and isn’t it delightful to know there are multiple ways to spank / be spanked?!

    Liked by 1 person

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