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I haven’t written in over two weeks. Main reason? I don’t feel like I’ve had anything new or interesting to say. This sucks. But you know, life. All work and no play. Responsibilities. Deadlines. Stuff.
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve had lots of subjects come up in my mind, things for random discussion, but then I’d get back to work and forget about them. And honestly, I shouldn’t be writing this now, but I felt the need for a break. So instead of elaborating on any of them, I’m just going to toss out some random thoughts here, and if any of you would like to pick up on one or more of them, please feel free.
- Good tops are worth their weight in gold. The more stories I hear about the crappy ones (and the more I recall my own experiences with a few of them over the years), the more I appreciate the kind, considerate and thoughtful tops who know they hold our vulnerability in their hands and treat it well. ♥
- I don’t regret my bad scene experiences. Luckily, I was not badly damaged by any of them, and I learned from them.
- Always keep your instincts well honed. If things seem off, or too good to be true, then oftentimes that’s your gut trying to tell you something. People are not always what they seem to be.
- (Here comes Granny Buzzkill) A moving car is not a toy. It’s a potentially lethal weapon. Horsing around in them, texting, speeding, isn’t funny; it’s utterly irresponsible. And to keep this on topic, no, it’s not a spanking offense. It warrants license suspension. Yeah, I know, I’m being a hard-ass. I will say this once and then never again — if you ever lose a loved one to a car accident, you will know where I’m coming from. Please. Just don’t.
- Question: Why does a top who ended things with me keep checking out my profile on a kink site? I mean, what’s up with that? If he didn’t want anything more to do with me, why does he keep looking at me? (sigh) And yes, I’d welcome him back in a heartbeat were he to change his mind.
- I am nervous AF about going back to a national party next month. Excited too, looking forward to seeing/meeting some people, but after a year off, it’s going to feel weird. I’m really not sure where my place is in these things, nowadays.
- And finally, last but most definitely not least: My friend Jay has returned to blogging. Like me, she took a long break (hers was four years to my one). Like me, she’s trying to find her way back, find her people, dipping her toes back in and trying to get past some hard times. Please welcome her back, link her blog to your roll if it isn’t there already, and give her a read. I hope she will stick around.
Back to work with me. 🙂
I am crazy nervous about a first scene after Tom, but I really hope it will be with one of the good tops.
Sometimes strength cannot be seen on the outside.
I’m working on this one.
My brother fell asleep at the wheel in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere. He rolled his vehicle and broke his back. He had to crawl into the middle of the highway before an off duty EMT saw him, pulled over, and got help.
You know my thoughts on this one.
(lots of bit hugs) I am so excited for you.
Thank you so much! We can find our way together. I love you bunches, my friend! 😘🥰
Jay — you’re very welcome. Yes… it’s easier to find the way when you have hands to hold. Ugh, I’m sorry that happened to your brother. I know some people don’t like my feelings on car safety, but here’s the deal about getting older — you learn that you are NOT invincible, and bad shit really does happen (and not just to others).
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This is one of those rare times that I must disagree with you, my dear friend. You WERE badly hurt by a bad scene experience between you, a trusted top who you deeply cared about, and a few other of your close scene friends. I point this out, not to focus on the horrible gut-wrenching pain this caused you, but to remind others that the way we treat those we interact with, play with, confide in, matters. Words hurt. Mean-spirited gossip hurts. Ghosting hurts. There’s enough pain out there, let’s not needlessly cause more to one another.
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Pam — this is all very true, my friend. And yes, all that crap hurts. Be kind, people.
I think when I said I wasn’t damaged, I meant more along the lines of the bad play scenes (with crappy tops who didn’t care/didn’t know what they were doing/etc.). Those were traumatic at the time of their occurrence, but I didn’t sustain any long-term harm from them, thank goodness.
Dear Granny Buzzkill, I can tell just little bits of too many true events I’ve investigated that would cause most people to lose their lunch. My conclusion has long been that people have no idea the risks they take, no idea what the real dangers are.
They are not stupid. They just can’t imagine anything so horrible. Nobody would just imagine what happens to a human body at speed, plus the car damage that reaches the people inside.
My father’s traffic police experience led to nightmares when his kids learned to drive. He showed us an evening of the driver safety films that courts back then ordered drunk drivers to watch. It was horrible, but I think all drivers should watch. They should know the reality of the risks they take. It made me more careful.
Not knowing has consequences. Those are just too awful to let people take those risks without knowing. There should be more films viewed that leave new drivers green and shaken. That’s just my pet take on it. Glad to see you mention it.
Mark — thanks. I remember those films. “Red Asphalt,” or something like that? I couldn’t watch them. Then again, I didn’t need to. I had personal life experience of what a car can do. So… yeah. It’s even worse now with cell phones. And when you’re young, you think you’re invincible. (sigh)
I typed a longass response here last night and apparently the internet ate it. Grrrr! I know we come from differences in background and how we go about embracing our kink, but the need for spanking is shared. I wouldn’t want anything to do with ttwd or whatever you call it if it didn’t include spanking. Nope. Nada. Yuck. We talk about dominance and that is a part of it for me, too, but I still would not want the dominance without the whole spanking package. Boring and I don’t want to be bossed. Laughing. I wish you the best time and safety and someone to treat you well (by treating you “bad”/spanking) sometime soon. Thanks for Jay’s link. I have seen her here lots of times and on Twitter and I have added her to my blog roll. Hugs, Windy
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Windy — I’m glad you’ve connected with Jay! We are all a little bit different but the needs resonate. Have a great weekend.
i know what you mean about item 6 Erica, as in situations like that you can feel like a ghost that is going back to a previous life
i can relate to what Tina says, its sage advice not to go back to old haunts as it can feel like searching for something that cant be found or like being in a dream
Tina — I think the secret to this is going back with a different perspective; not expecting things to be as they were. I’m looking forward to seeing some people, and I’m not going to make any more out of it than that.
Marcia — You can’t go home again, or back again, as they say. I can only move forward and hopefully make some good new experiences.