Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Our high school selves… who knew?

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Yup, I’m getting notices for yet another one of mine. And not just any high school, mind you, but good old Beverly Hills High School. Home of former/future stars, kids and other relations of famous people.

Have any of my readers attended their high school reunions? I’ve never gone to any of mine. High school wasn’t a good time for me; I was pretty much a loner and a misfit there. I didn’t fit into any of the cliques; I wasn’t a brain, I wasn’t in the popular crowd, I wasn’t into sports, I didn’t belong to any clubs. I wasn’t even part of the “bad” crowd; I dabbled in that in my first two years, cutting classes, smoking cigarettes in the 3rd floor girls’ bathroom, hanging out with stoners and highly sexually active kids (I was a virgin). But that wasn’t a good fit for me either. In my freshman and sophomore years, I was overweight. Then I lost a bunch of weight, developed an eating disorder, and in my junior and senior years, I was pretty much invisible. I really doubt anyone would remember me, so why bother attending?

Then, when I think back on school days and people I knew, my mind wanders to this story. When I was in grade school, I had a friend named Rebecca. She had one of those moms who were involved in everything — Girl Scouts and other groups, school functions, etc. — and Rebecca’s family was always on some adventure or having some party or gathering. Rebecca was very sweet… and painfully shy. Like me, she went through years of being pudgy, of having braces. She was smart, friendly, but quiet. I liked being at her house because there was a warmth and family enthusiasm there that wasn’t present in mine. But she and I fell out of touch and went through high school basically passing one another in the halls, but not in contact.

Cut to my high school’s 10-year reunion. I did not attend, but another friend did, and she told me all about it, showing me pictures and relating stories about people we knew. The biggest shocker? Rebecca. She had changed her name from Rebecca Xxxxx to Becky Xxxxxx, lost weight, dyed her hair blonde, bought a pair of 39DDs, and was now acting in soft-core porn. I saw a picture of her and she was unrecognizable.

Who knew??

I Googled her recently, thinking about her after I got the high school reunion notice. She is certainly all over the internet, not just as a model and actress, but a producer and distributor. She has an IMDB page; I was amused when I looked it up to see she’d shaved five years off her birth date, when I know she was born the same year as I was. She’s successful, no doubt wealthy, and although I don’t think I saw any recent pictures, she’s probably still quite stunning.

I wonder if she’d remember me. There’s a contact on one of her websites, and I thought for about thirty seconds about writing to her, then thought “Nahhhhh.” Ancient history.

But it makes me think. What did my high school peers think of this sad, colorless, semi-invisible girl?

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Looking at this picture makes me sad. I was sixteen. I look sad. I was sad. And, like Rebecca, there was a whole other self yearning to break free and express herself. Rebecca transformed herself, and so did I. I just took a lot longer.

Did anyone who saw that girl imagine she’d become this woman?

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So no, I won’t be going to my high school reunion. I seriously don’t think anyone there would care about Erica [real name] OR Erica Scott. But in a week, I’ll be going to another reunion of sorts — the party in Las Vegas. After a year off.

I have a feeling — at least I am hoping — that this reunion will be much more fulfilling. ♥

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25 thoughts on “Our high school selves… who knew?

  1. I graduated 50 years ago and have never attended a reunion. First and foremost, I hated high school. Second, we moved in my junior year and I left behind all of my real friends. Like you, Erica, I didn’t fit in in a school full of rich kids. Both of my parents worked their tails off so we could have a new home in a new subdivision. I wanted to stay in Santa Ana in my comfortable home where my friends could congregate. Nope, never attended one reunion and do not regret it at all.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I showed up at the football game to my last one (only one I’ve had yet). It wasn’t anything special. I had friends in high school, but a lot of them graduated two years before I did which means they wouldn’t be there anyway. I do think your party reunion will be more fulfilling, and I can’t wait to hear about it. 😘❤️

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  3. Never been to any of my HS reunions, either. Didn’t give a second thought about going. I was a nerdy, somewhat brainy kid then, but the one thing that stands out is the first boy I really liked kept me at arms length. When I turned 17 and left for college, I moved 3,000 miles away, to California. Ironically I recently re-connected with that boy/man on Facebook, who now lives in San Francisco with his male spouse. Explains a lot, but I wish he’d felt able to share that with me. Tough burden for him to secretly carry all alone back in the those days. He and I were both “late bloomers”. Can you relate??!

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  4. Rox — I guess I was one of the rich kids, at the time. But I still didn’t fit. I wish I’d had a good time to look back on, but I simply don’t.

    Jay — I sure hope it will be! Thanks.

    Pam — Hmmm… late bloomers, keeping deeply private secrets. Nope, no idea what you’re talking about. wink

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  5. Never have, never will. There are a couple people I wouldn’t mind seeing, but mostly it’s just bad memories. I didn’t even have a yearbook picture (only the seniors got them, and had to submit them), because I had no desire to have a keepsake. I’ve vaguely kept in touch with most of the people I’d have any interest in following through Facebook.

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  6. Michael on said:

    I don’t remember being unhappy in high school — I either have a low need for acceptance or, if there is no such thing, for some other reason I didn’t mind not fitting in — but I was dissatisfied. I knew I did a bad job. I didn’t go to the first several reunions, maybe because the disappointment was too fresh, but around the 20 to 30 year range, I did go to a few. It was a big school (still is); I didn’t know most of the people in my class or at the reunion, but I was glad to see the ones I did know. It was long enough that any old hard feelings were gone; we knew that we were essentially different people now, so while we may have apologized for things we did then, we didn’t hold them against each other. Everyone seemed friendly and welcoming. I’m sure some of us showed up to show off, and I did wish I had a better answer to “what have you been doing?” than I had, but I didn’t get the sense of everyone comparing or judging. Then I developed a hoarseness problem that makes it impossible to be heard in noisy rooms, which is half the reason I’ve stopped going to spanking parties and most of the reason I’ll miss my 50th high school reunion next month.

    I really do wonder what’s wrong with me that I was NOT miserable in high school. Everybody else was!

    Erica, did you mean FIFTH floor girls’ bathroom? I’ve looked at pictures of the BHS building, though it might not be the same as when you attended, and there’s a tower that might have a third floor, but that’s it. What high school has five stories? Four flights of stairs to run up and down? Even in Beverly Hills they probably don’t put escalators in a high school. The entire student body must have wound up with biker’s calves.

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  7. Michael on said:

    Here’s a lesson in not being lazy. I didn’t want to type Beverly Hills High School (especially since I keep trying to put a third E between the L and Y in Beverly), so I abbreviated it. Wrongly. Should be BHHS. Sigh.

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  8. Xen — interesting. So far, there’s not a whole lot of enthusiasm for the ritual. I wonder if anyone actually enjoys these things. Oh, so much fun — look, we’re all old! Remember when we were young? (groan)

    Michael — I don’t know why I remember it as the fifth floor. You’re right; that makes no sense, and it was probably the third floor (there were definitely three floors). But the school was ginormous. You probably heard of the swimming pool underneath the gym floor — that appeared in It’s a Wonderful Life.

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  9. I graduated 15 years ago (homeschooled in a co-op) and attended 2 reunions. Both were pretty fun to connect with all pretty much in the same point in life, married, kids, mid-level in our careers, mortgages and car payments etc. Looking forward to Vegas with great anticipation!

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  10. bklynny0856 on said:

    For my most recent reunion there was a link on the school website to request information. I submitted a request and received a “failure to deliver” reply message! I took that as a sign that I wasn’t welcome so I stayed home lol

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  11. hi Erica, what happened to your Tops B and D, are you still in contact?

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  12. Zack — wow, home-schooled? It sounds like our backgrounds and upbringings couldn’t be more polar opposite. And yet we’re both spankos. Further evidence to support that this is simply wired into us at birth, no?

    bklynny — (snort) I would have taken it that way too.

    Marcia — D ended things back in November. It made me very sad, because I liked him a lot. B has been busy with work and life and the usual stuff that interferes with one’s fun.

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  13. Bob in Wisconsin on said:

    I graduated high school in ’65, and the only reunion I attended was the 10th. By that time it didn’t take long for everyone to break into two distinct groups: stoners and non-stoners. I was definitely in the former crowd. I thought about going to another reunion a while back but decided against it. I heard there were just going to be a bunch of old people there.

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  14. Bob — John thinks I should go to this next one. He said, “The women will all hate you and the men will wonder if you’re in the wrong place.” (snort) I appreciate the sentiment behind his words, but I don’t think that’s a good enough reason to go.
    P.S. — You’d wanted to see a picture of me from high school, so there ya go. I daresay you looked much better in yours.

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    • Bob in Wisconsin on said:

      Actually, I think John had a valid point, but I understand your reluctance to attend that next Beverly Hills High reunion. It’s funny that you mention the Rebecca in your story, because there was a particularly drab, shy, retiring girl in my high school who showed up 10 years later at the reunion as a tanned, lithe, gorgeous beauty. The guys were fawning all over her. I don’t think she ever had her own porn website, though. Also, thanks for posting your high school picture. You do look sad in it, but you damn sure were no ugly duckling. And the woman you became is stunningly gorgeous, in my humble opinion!

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  15. I’ve never gone to one. I did not feel then that I fit in, and I don’t feel now that I would be comfortable. The people who did fit in then and still look back with pleasure on the whole thing are quite alien to me.

    Then again, my interests likely would seem alien to them, except for the ones then hiding their true interests.

    You are far past all that, and much better for it I’d say, much more healthy. As I see this, your big “birthday” move was your big break away from all of that, and is a reason not to look back.

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  16. Mark — that makes a lot of sense, thank you.

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  17. Anonymous on said:

    I went to my 40th , actually had fun talking with the young lady serving drinks , quite submissive attitude. Very spankable. But alas , the room was full of OLD people ! 😀

    Daddy

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  18. As always Erica, I enjoy reading your post… Just like I said on my regular FB page, “Sorry for being somewhat of a recluse”. It’s been awhile since I have commented on your page & even on my own “blogger page”…
    Anyway, I just wanted to say for me its been 40 years, and I did go to one high school reunion (my 10 year), and that photo is on my FB page. That all being said, I don’t blame you for not going especially if you don’t keep in touch with your old friends. With me I actually do know most of my online friends, and several are friends I’ve known since elementary school in the mid-1960’s. I feel that going to one of these reunions now, would just be a waste of time and money. I would much rather meet the friends (that I see on FB) actually in a bar, hall or one of our music events and just share the good times. No need to see or run into people that I really don’t know and “unfortunately”, this has been happening at funerals, which is where I’d rather not be seeing my friends…
    Take care,
    Milt (a.k.a. David Humsinger / Tunesinger)

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  19. Milt/David — yeah… not really sure what I’d be accomplishing, going to a reunion after all these years. And the money is a good point — considering it’s Beverly Hills High, you know they’ll have some sort of ritzy event at a costly restaurant or hotel that will cost $$$. Considering I don’t like people all that much, I should probably save my socializing for something that will actually be fun.

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  20. Erica,

    Thank you for this peek at high school you. Your facial expression says to me, “You have no idea what I’m thinking!” And it seems no one did. The world is better because you eventually let those secrets out.

    BTW, we had the same hair!

    Hugs,
    Bonnie

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    • Bonnie — thank you, my friend. Oh, and I think we all had the same hair then! LOL — that middle part never worked for me, but I insisted on it. And my hair refused to look sleek and smooth like I envisioned.

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