Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 5/8


That’s right, kids. We’re still in the middle of a pandemic, things are still locked down, the whole damn country has been turned on its ear. But what never changes? The pervs just keep on perving. The jackasses keep on engaging in jackassery.

I’ve missed blogging, but when life is just a series of SSDD (Same Shit, Different Day), there’s not much to write. One more bit of regrettable news: TASSP, the June party in Dallas, has been canceled. At this point, I’m wondering if Shadow Lodge (formerly Shadow Lane) will happen over Labor Day. The more I think about it, the more I am so grateful that John and I made it to 50 Freaks, quite literally under the wire. I mean, the damn COVID-19 thing exploded a week or so after we came home. I am grateful to have those memories, because the rest of this year has sucked so far.

Anyway… here’s the first jackass, on Twitter:

Go take your meds.
I bet your the life of the party.

Well now…

  1. Why yes, as a matter of fact, when I choose to be, I am the life of the party.
  2. It’s you’re, stupid.
  3. Go inject yourself with disinfectant.

This is from the kink ads site:

You have a glorious delectable body, i would literally do anything to taste you
I’ll travel to you. Nothing I love better than licking sucking probing tasting pussy making your sweet yummy pussy juice filling my mouth. running down the crack of your ass my tongue lapping madly at your asshole getting every sweet yummy drop, my tongue will lick suck probe everywhere after I give you orgasm after orgasm after orgasm making you scream cream and begging for mercy. Then i will fill your sweet little rosebud with hard hot throbbing cock, let me know if you want to get better acquainted. I will make you submit to me. After car3 GUARANTEED. If you like rope, confinement or even suspension, I’m very practiced. Gently yet stern. If not this MASTER/dominant, look at, it’s totally and completely free. No scammers. Let me know if I have been of any assistance
If not me I am sure you can find what you desire LOCALLY. MASTER/Dominant Xxx

(clutching my head) Good grief…

WTF is After car3? Oh, of course… aftercare. (I put it through my Moron to English dictionary.) I don’t even know where to begin with this atrocity. I know I’ve asked this countless times, but really, who actually thinks that writing this kind of crap is going to make a woman drop her panties and come running? On what planet? Bleccchhhh.

I felt so unclean after reading this, I updated my status on Alt. Something along the lines of “Guys, just because we’re on a kink site doesn’t mean I want you to write filth to me.”

Aaaand then I heard from this charmer:

Ohhhh cum on now !!!! What kind of bullshit is that ??? You know your pussy gets dripping wet when a mature experienced dominant sadistic man like me speak total filth to you xxxx I love horny cock hungry perverted meat !!!!! So I hope I didn’t make you cry but your fingers are in the elastic band of your panties just waiting to touch your swollen erect clitoris !!!!! Haha haha my deepest apologies to you my slutty fuck but daddy will pleasure myself to your pink panties !!!!! MasterXxxx

Um. No, it doesn’t. No, you didn’t, you just made me sick. No, they aren’t. But if you like you can do something for me. Go find one of those throngs of idiots gathering and protesting the pandemic lockdown because they can’t get their hair cut or their nails done. You know, the people not wearing masks or observing social distancing. Put yourself right in the middle of the crowd, and breathe deep. 😛

For this last one, I’m cheating a little, because it wasn’t written directly to me. It’s a tweet from some jerkoff who claims he’s a radio host (I think his idol must have been Don Imus), a misogynist pig who has so many issues with women, you wonder just what the hell his mommy did to his little soldier. He likes to rail about how BIRTH CONTROL IS NOT A RIGHT (the caps are his) and shouldn’t be readily accessible.

You want free birth control? Duct tape your legs together until you figure what the hell is going on down there and change your behavior. See how easy that was?


I don’t know, kids. I ran this through a translator as well, and got, “I don’t get laid enough.”

No. I didn’t engage with this waste of space. But I’d love to give him some free birth control. With a dull butter knife. Slowly. Painfullllllly.

Truth be told, I may talk smack, but I’m really not a violent person. I’ve never been in any kind of physical altercation. I would never slap a man in the face (exception: the one time it was scripted). I don’t like the idea of hurting people, even if they like it — hence my never getting into switching. But something about this kind of sexist arrogance taps into my inner Lorena Bobbitt. (Yes, I know that reference is dated. I don’t care. It’s still perfect.) I mean, these are the same guys who say women get raped because they asked for it somehow.

Y’all know what a succubus is? It’s a demon in a female form, seductive and irresistible. In my perfect imagined world of justice, these guys end up in their own special version of hell, locked in rooms with insatiable succubi, and they are compelled to copulate with them for all eternity. What’s so hellish about that, you ask? Well… these particular succubi have genitalia that are lined with rows of razor. Sharp. Teeth. And eternity is a looooooong time, boys. 😀

In short? I am totally fine with you if you have a dick. Just don’t be one, k?

And on that note, while all my male readers cringe… please be safe, please be well, everyone. Hope your weekends are peaceful and virus-free.

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18 thoughts on “Correspondence Hall of Shame, 5/8

  1. Well, my eyebrows completely disappeared into my bangs somewhere while reading this. I guess I should be grateful I don’t get much cringe worthy correspondence. Sometimes I get the overly friendly notes that creep me out, but mostly it’s one or two sentences like “I’ll spank you. Hope you’re interested?” 🤦🏻‍♀️


  2. Rae on said:

    Erica, you know the nicest people. Yuck.


  3. Lorena Bobbitt will never not be relevant.

    I deleted my fetlife account within 48 hours of creating it. I didn’t even get any especially obscene or inappropriate messages (not even from Dick69 who’s profile image was, as promised, a dick), I was just uncomfortable with people messaging me out of the blue looking for hookups when I made it really clear in my profile I wasn’t interested in hookups. I just kind of wanted to talk about kink and spanking related stuff with other kinky people. Oh well, I guess that’s what blogs are for!


    • Xen — Fetlife used to be a lot more fun, in its early years. It had more of a community feel, like Facebook but for kinky people. Now it’s just too big and there’s too much infighting and finger-pointing and rape-y behavior and heaven knows what else. I still like going on there around the time of a party, because it’s fun to talk about the parties there and post pictures. Otherwise, I have little use for it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Erica:

    These correspondents plumb the depths of stupidity. They blow right past annoying and straight into vomit-inducing.

    The birth control opponent is clearly not smart enough to figure out that restricting access to contraception would further lower his already minuscule chance of ever getting laid.

    Empowering women is sexy. Empowered women are sexy. This is not complicated.

    I get messages from assorted nitwits, but yours are weirder.

    I too struggle to compose blog posts that aren’t just a rehash of what I’ve already said. Thank you for livening up my day!

    Big socially distanced hugs,

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mark on said:

    That stuff was nauseating. I could not finish reading it.

    I also can’t imagine it getting any other reaction, from anyone.

    I might suppose could be somebody somewhere out there so very different from anyone I know that they might react differently, but I can’t really imagine such a person.

    Perhaps in some sick way they just wanted to be offensive? I can’t make sense of it.

    I can imagine a lot of different interests too. For example, somewhere out there there is someone with a medical face mask fetish who is just in heaven over all this. But I don’t know him either.


  6. Your pal on said:

    How I wish you were quarantined with President Trump. Such a fitting punishment for you rather than your usual ass beatings


  7. Yuck! Those were truly disgusting! Your moron to English dictionary must be well-thumbed by now (yeah, I know, it’s virtual, not paper).

    Virtual hugs,


  8. Bob in Wisconsin on said:

    Thank you for another “titillating” installment of your Correspondence Hall of Shame, Erica. These are among my favorite entries in your blog. It’s scary to me, though, to know that some of these folks walk among us, and it’s particularly disturbing to think that some of them may actually vote.

    I know it must be difficult to resist the allure of sweet-talking gents who whisper sweet nothings in your ear, such as “I love horny cock hungry perverted meat !!!!!” But you do have to give that fellow points for his “apology”: “Haha haha my deepest apologies to you my slutty fuck but daddy will pleasure myself to your pink panties !!!!!” WTF!

    I’m already looking forward to the next installment. I’m sure that there are many more knuckle draggers out there, waiting to be discovered. Stay safe and be well, Erica.


    • Bob — I know — charming, right? If this was the only type of man available out there, I’d go celibate for the rest of my life. You stay safe as well — it’s a wee bit scary out there.


  9. Ariel on said:

    After car3 just made me laugh. The guy is disgusting but so over the top he’s almost funny. Almost. It’s creepy to know that guy and the one who charmingly uses the phrase “meat” exist in real life. Glad you’re staying safe, from covid and from creeps. The insanity will ease off someday. Personally I’m looking forward to the pandemic being a bad memory.


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