Correspondence Hall of Shame, 5/8

That’s right, kids. We’re still in the middle of a pandemic, things are still locked down, the whole damn country has been turned on its ear. But what never changes? The pervs just keep on perving. The jackasses keep on engaging in jackassery.

I’ve missed blogging, but when life is just a series of SSDD (Same Shit, Different Day), there’s not much to write. One more bit of regrettable news: TASSP, the June party in Dallas, has been canceled. At this point, I’m wondering if Shadow Lodge (formerly Shadow Lane) will happen over Labor Day. The more I think about it, the more I am so grateful that John and I made it to 50 Freaks, quite literally under the wire. I mean, the damn COVID-19 thing exploded a week or so after we came home. I am grateful to have those memories, because the rest of this year has sucked so far.

Anyway… here’s the first jackass, on Twitter:

Go take your meds.
I bet your the life of the party.

Well now…

1. Why yes, as a matter of fact, when I choose to be, I am the life of the party.
2. It’s you’re, stupid.
3. Go inject yourself with disinfectant.

This is from the kink ads site:

You have a glorious delectable body, i would literally do anything to taste you
I’ll travel to you. Nothing I love better than licking sucking probing tasting pussy making your sweet yummy pussy juice filling my mouth. running down the crack of your ass my tongue lapping madly at your asshole getting every sweet yummy drop, my tongue will lick suck probe everywhere after I give you orgasm after orgasm after orgasm making you scream cream and begging for mercy. Then i will fill your sweet little rosebud with hard hot throbbing cock, let me know if you want to get better acquainted. I will make you submit to me. After car3 GUARANTEED. If you like rope, confinement or even suspension, I’m very practiced. Gently yet stern. If not this MASTER/dominant, look at fetlife.com, it’s totally and completely free. No scammers. Let me know if I have been of any assistance
If not me I am sure you can find what you desire LOCALLY. MASTER/Dominant Xxx

(clutching my head) Good grief…

WTF is After car3? Oh, of course… aftercare. (I put it through my Moron to English dictionary.) I don’t even know where to begin with this atrocity. I know I’ve asked this countless times, but really, who actually thinks that writing this kind of crap is going to make a woman drop her panties and come running? On what planet? Bleccchhhh.

I felt so unclean after reading this, I updated my status on Alt. Something along the lines of “Guys, just because we’re on a kink site doesn’t mean I want you to write filth to me.”

Aaaand then I heard from this charmer:

Ohhhh cum on now !!!! What kind of bullshit is that ??? You know your pussy gets dripping wet when a mature experienced dominant sadistic man like me speak total filth to you xxxx I love horny cock hungry perverted meat !!!!! So I hope I didn’t make you cry but your fingers are in the elastic band of your panties just waiting to touch your swollen erect clitoris !!!!! Haha haha my deepest apologies to you my slutty fuck but daddy will pleasure myself to your pink panties !!!!! MasterXxxx

Um. No, it doesn’t. No, you didn’t, you just made me sick. No, they aren’t. But if you like you can do something for me. Go find one of those throngs of idiots gathering and protesting the pandemic lockdown because they can’t get their hair cut or their nails done. You know, the people not wearing masks or observing social distancing. Put yourself right in the middle of the crowd, and breathe deep. 😛

For this last one, I’m cheating a little, because it wasn’t written directly to me. It’s a tweet from some jerkoff who claims he’s a radio host (I think his idol must have been Don Imus), a misogynist pig who has so many issues with women, you wonder just what the hell his mommy did to his little soldier. He likes to rail about how BIRTH CONTROL IS NOT A RIGHT (the caps are his) and shouldn’t be readily accessible.

You want free birth control? Duct tape your legs together until you figure what the hell is going on down there and change your behavior. See how easy that was?

Wow.

I don’t know, kids. I ran this through a translator as well, and got, “I don’t get laid enough.”

No. I didn’t engage with this waste of space. But I’d love to give him some free birth control. With a dull butter knife. Slowly. Painfullllllly.

Truth be told, I may talk smack, but I’m really not a violent person. I’ve never been in any kind of physical altercation. I would never slap a man in the face (exception: the one time it was scripted). I don’t like the idea of hurting people, even if they like it — hence my never getting into switching. But something about this kind of sexist arrogance taps into my inner Lorena Bobbitt. (Yes, I know that reference is dated. I don’t care. It’s still perfect.) I mean, these are the same guys who say women get raped because they asked for it somehow.

Y’all know what a succubus is? It’s a demon in a female form, seductive and irresistible. In my perfect imagined world of justice, these guys end up in their own special version of hell, locked in rooms with insatiable succubi, and they are compelled to copulate with them for all eternity. What’s so hellish about that, you ask? Well… these particular succubi have genitalia that are lined with rows of razor. Sharp. Teeth. And eternity is a looooooong time, boys. 😀

In short? I am totally fine with you if you have a dick. Just don’t be one, k?

And on that note, while all my male readers cringe… please be safe, please be well, everyone. Hope your weekends are peaceful and virus-free.

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