Life
I have a confession: I still buy a paper wall calendar every year. It’s not because I am anti-technology. But I have a perfect spot on the wall just outside my kitchen, and I like having the month laid out before me, being able to quickly note the dates, see my appointments, etc. I enjoy flipping a new page each month. And I like choosing something fun each December. For a long time, I got Beatles calendars. For a while it was Big Bang Theory. This year, I went with “The B Word,” which is basically women snarking in a dry and delightful way. Resonates with me for some reason…
Anyway, when I flipped July’s page, the cartoon of the month seemed to sum up life as of late. Although some days it seems that “some shit in the middle” would be an improvement.
Such strange times. I want to post. I want to connect with readers and entertain. But I don’t have anything. I thought about recycling old classic posts, some stories, etc., but I really don’t want to do that. So… I don’t post at all, which sucks.
And who do we talk to? Everyone is suffering to some degree. Everyone is afraid/angry/nervous to some degree. Some of my friends are going through unspeakably awful things — deaths, illness, financial ruin, losses. How can we comfort one another when we’re all at the breaking point? And we can’t even give each other hugs, for Christ’s sake. I don’t want to complain to people who are already struggling. So… I keep to myself for the most part. At least I get to see John once a week. I get a respite.
I work. Basically, that’s it. I get up in the morning, I get dressed. I eat breakfast. Then I sit at my computer all day, working on and off, interspersed with bouts of social media. I have correspondence with a couple of dear friends. But even with them, I run out of things to say. Today, for most working folks in the U.S., is a day off. My friend asked me if I was working today. I said yes… because, really, what else is there to do?? You can only watch so much TV, or read so much. I work out to blow off stress. I keep up with bills and laundry and other necessities. But otherwise, life has just… stopped. Frozen.
I haven’t played since February. We haven’t been to a restaurant in months. I haven’t even petted a dog for several months. I did get a haircut, as did John, finally. I got my teeth cleaned. But I can’t go to my chiropractor, and my back has been hurting every day. My gym is back open, but damned if I’m going there. Fortunately, I’ve managed to keep in shape working out here. (Haven’t gained the Covid 19, as they say — a play on the Freshman 15.)
Besides a pandemic, as if that weren’t bad enough, we have police brutality, racism, protesting (not that protesting is bad, but I worry about the viral spread), rioting. U.S. has the highest rate of cases, and we’re practically the only country still going up, still spiking that first wave, while others have gone down. Why? Because we have a madman at the helm who is denying it all. And there isn’t a fucking thing we can do about it until November. Even then… I fear corruption, cheating, voter suppression, Russian interference, etc., just like we had in 2016. There is no guarantee there will be an end to this apocalypse. Meanwhile, we’re being banned entry into other countries. How far we’ve fallen. And yet we still have ignorant idiots who refuse to do a simple thing like wear a mask. We have people throwing tantrums in public places when asked to wear one. Yup. We are officially a shithole country now, to use the Orange Menace’s terminology. I’m ashamed to live here. I never thought I’d feel like that.
So. Each day, I have to bring it back down to basics. Eat. Drink. Work. Shower. Breathe. Check off the to-do list. Sleep. And do it again.
It’s really not much of a life. But it’s all I have right now. I have a home and a job, and for the moment, I have my health. I have food to eat. I have John. Like I said, basics. Grateful for them. But still depressed, afraid and angry. Because there’s no end in sight. Human beings have to learn to live with a degree of uncertainty and unsolved problems, but this is ridiculous.
My beloved cousin will be 98 this month, and my beloved stepmother turned 89 in April. I don’t know when — or even if — I’ll see them again. I don’t know when I’ll see friends I miss so much. I try to keep up correspondence, but with a couple of exceptions, it’s one-sided. I suppose I should be grateful that I’m an introvert, and I can deal with being alone a lot of the time. I don’t know how extroverts who crave company and stimulation from others are dealing with this.
So. If any of you have any suggestions for posts here, anything you’d like to see or revisit, please let me know. Because otherwise, I’ve got nothing. And I don’t think I’ll have anything for a long time.
In conclusion, one of my dearest old friends summed it all up quite well, saying, “2020 can go fuck itself with a rusty spork up the ass.” I couldn’t agree more.
Please, everyone, take care. ♥
Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking 
You reminded me, Erica, of Mel Brooks’ THEME FROM “THE TWELVE CHAIRS!”
You know things are grim when even some of the people who want to keep their side in control start turning on the Mango Mussolini! (Thanks for the phrase, Devlin O’Neill!)
As to losing folks just ahead of us, and peers, and being next up on the diving board, oh, yes, I’m beginning to really take that personally, and resent the hell out of it. That’s nonsense, of course, but doesn’t negate the feelings.
Hey, I keep paper calendars, too! Usually with wolves! Go, Wolfies! Go, Wolfies!
In the meantime, I’ve put my copy of “Singin’ In The Rain” on, with Laurel and Hardy standing by, which helps a bit!
Sending love!!
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Ooh, you know what else helps the balance? Sandra Boynton Songs! Like, “TYRANNOSAURUS FUNK” 😀
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But my very favorite Sandra Boynton song might be the one she got the Jazz King himself, B.B.King, to do, “THE ONE SHOE BLUES!” OK, I’ll stop now. Maybe. 😀
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I love that calendar! 😂 I still have a paper one and a full wall calendar at home. You know I love my gadgets, but I still like books and personal calendars. My work calendar is completely in MS Outlook because coworkers have to see it to schedule all these damn meetings.
I have a draft post about phrases and gaslighting, but I might just delete it. What’s the point? I’ve also thought about walking down memory lane and revisiting old posts, but I don’t know that anyone would click on the links even if they are fun reads. (sigh) Sorry I’m not much help. Guess I don’t know what to do either… ❤️
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Wolfie — I don’t know how you manage to keep your cheery disposition through all this, but I appreciate it — and you — greatly. ♥
Jay — it’s hard! I mean, I want to be fun, but there’s just nothing fun right now.
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Well, I would be interested in some experiences with what spanking may bring: immediate stress relief, prolonged sense of belonging, moments of pleasure, stability in daily life, … well, thinking about it, it may be worth several posts 😉
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MrJ — a spanko wishlist, sounds like. Well, I certainly have one of those…
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Haha, I say some version of “prepare for the worst, but hope for the best” pretty often, it’s a good motto. Even more so than ever this year! Also, I still enjoy fun wall calendars too, and that one looks awesome!
As someone who healthwise lives with “unspeakably awful things” all the time, if anything, I believe it has given me more compassion for the pain and struggles of others. That can take a little effort at first to cultivate, but then begins to come naturally. It’s pretty much that or a life of bitterness. Everyone struggles and everyone suffers, but we can still try to be there for each other to make it all a little more bearable. Now more than ever. I was recently reading about a meditation technique called tonglen, where you think of a problem you have, think of all the people in the world who are struggling with something similar, and somewhat counterintuitively breathe in all of the suffering, and breathe out compassion, love, kindness, and peace for them along with yourself. It was a little emotional to try, but felt sweet too, and fosters a sense of connectedness, I thought. These are unprecedented tough times for us all, but nothing is forever, we will have in person hugs and everything else again one day, as long as we make it through.
Still, all the ugliness, and all the uncertainty, have been rough for me too. The racism and ableism on such blatant display lately have been disheartening, though I’m hopeful the BLM movement will ultimately bring about much needed change if we all keep demanding it. COVID though, feels so scary and out of control at this point. It’s important for my healthcare (and so many other things) that Trump not be reelected, but I’m honestly terrified that he will be, even if by cheating and Russian interference. Everything feels so heavy, and there’s so much at stake. Praying (as as an agnostic atheist does 😂) for some return to somewhat normalcy next year with an end to the madness of this fascist, narcissistic, incompetent, treasonous “leader,” and for the scientists to find an answer to this awful virus! Love you, hang in there sis, hugs!
P.S. So sorry about the loss of Carl Reiner, he seemed like a special person. The Dick Van Dyke show is one of my all time favorites! ❤
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Lily — oh, sis. I’m so glad that at least in all this insanity, you have your hubby and your two adorable critters. You are inspiring to me.
Carl Reiner’s passing broke my heart. Not just because of the great loss, but because he had often expressed on Twitter that he dearly hoped to “stick around long enough” to see Trump ousted. But he didn’t make it. So… we all have to vote. For him.
I love you too. ♥
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Erica, I think of you every time I see the horrendous statistics on CNN. I know you’re doing your best to stay safe, but the CA stats are so frightening. I wish I could whisk you up to Canada, but they’d stop you at the border:(
Hugs,
Hermione
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Regarding paper calendars: I see nothing wrong with having one. I like using them too.
On another subject: I know you like song parodies and you don’t care much for our current president. Have you listened to Randy Rainbow? He’s really funny. My favorites that he’s done are “Bunker Boy”, “A Spoonful of Clorox”, and “Cover Your Freaking Face”.
And Happy Independence Day.
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I too have paper calendars. I have fond memories of family writing anything and everything happening on the calendar. It was a central representation of our family life!
Everything you mentioned above are things I feel and worry about. The nut in office scares the heck out of me! EVERYDAY!
I’m trying to get more active while teaching in front of a computer screen. But alas I fall short most weeks! Glad you are able to keep active!
When I sign into word press I feel it takes people to an inactive account I had… not sure how to fix that. Just an aside! Lol
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I can empathize with your plight, Erica, although it’s probably not much comfort to know that most of us feel the same way. I’ve never quite understood the upside of the adage that “misery loves company,” but perhaps there is some truth in it.
As to suggestions to get past your case of “blogger’s block,” I know that you said you don’t want to recycle anything from your past posts, and I get that, but here’s a random thought anyway. One of my favorite categories of your past writings is your Correspondence Hall of Shame. Some of those brain-dead, clueless, and obscene come-ons you’ve received on FetLife really made me laugh at times when I didn’t really feel much like laughing. Perhaps a “highlight reel” of sorts? Just a thought.
I hope that you and John can have a pleasant Fourth of July weekend together and that some togetherness will give both your psyches a breather (not intended as a COVID-19 reference) from the trauma of Trump’s America.
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Hi Erica,
Happy Independence Day, though I now feel more dependent than ever upon people I don’t know. Why does this have to be so difficult? Wait, I do know that.
I have a paper calendar on the wall in my office at work. It reads, “March.” I wonder whether I will get to change it to the correct month before it’s time to replace it.
I’ve experienced a strange reawakening during the past several weeks. Suddenly, my muse has returned. I have resumed writing blog posts on a semi-regular basis. Maybe it’s boredom or increased free time, or a need to reconnect with the community, but here I am. Each of us reacts differently to adversity, but I would not have predicted this outcome.
As for blogging suggestions, I find your life and adventures relentlessly interesting. I think a number of your responses to Curious Cat questions could grow into entire posts were you so inclined. Failing that, maybe you could collect the goofy ones and present them CHoS style. I will guess that most of your blog readers haven’t seen those.
I wish continued good health for your beloved cousin. I know he will want to be sure to vote this year.
If it ever gets too boring, you can write me anytime. I am always be happy to hear from you! In any case, I wish you the very best of everything, both now and in the brighter future that we all envision each day. Please stay safe. Let’s hang on together. We can make it!
Big socially distanced virtual hugs,
Bonnie
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I understand how you feel. We are committed to writing a new post every day. I’ve managed to stay on topic until yesterday. I couldn’t resist joining the chorus of voices calling for replacing the idiot in the White House. I suppose it is wrong of me as a sex blogger to drift so far afield, but I feel better for it.
I’m lucky I live with my wife and spanker 🙂 Our lives are affected of course. I’m on furlough from my job. It’s over two months now. I worry constantly that I won’t be brought back. I work for an entertainment/resort company. Most nights I’m up until 2 or 3am worrying.
Still I have Mrs. Lion and we are perfectly happy being isolated. We won’t be so happy if we end up having no place to live. I think that all of us bloggers owe it to ourselves and readers to help find distraction from the horror we currently live in.
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Hermione — no worries. The stats do sound horrible in CA, but people forget just how big and how densely populated this state is. There are a lot of sick people, but a whole lot more well people. I’m just staying indoors as much as I can, and hoping we get lucky.
Anonymous — I LOVE Randy Rainbow! I follow him on Twitter and have seen all of his parodies. The man is brilliant, and so damn funny.
Minelle — I get them more for the humor on the pages; it’s not like I have that active a social life! But they’re fun to look at.
Bob — I’m sure there will be another CHoS somewhere along the way — there’s certainly not shortage of idiocy and rudeness these days! Trump’s America, indeed. I want it back, dammit.
Bonnie — hurray for muses! I’m glad for you. Trust me, my life this year has been anything but interesting, and not at all entertaining. But yeah, some of those CuriousCat questions are ridiculous. Especially the ones that people ask over and over and over and OVER. “Do you prefer being spanked by men or women?” Hello Have you paid ANY attention in the last 20+ years??
Please take care, my friend. We need to come out the other side of this. ♥
Lion — I never used to involve politics in my blog either. I thought it wasn’t appropriate. But we’ve gone so far past inappropriate these days, I don’t think it matters anymore. It’s hard to stay on topic with such a gigantic ugly orange elephant in the room. But distraction is a good thing as well. It keeps us sane.
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