Good thoughts, please

This might be my last update for a while. I really don’t have anything good to post, and the situation here is a bit dire.

The Bobcat fire in Southern California is close to John’s town. It is up in the hills above several foothill communities, and John’s is one of them. I was there with him this weekend, and yesterday, we were told to leave. John is staying at his condo in another county, and I am back at my apartment.

The air quality is poor everywhere, some places worse than others. In John’s area, everything smelled like a barbecue. Mercifully, at my place, the sky is hazy but there is no smell.

Last week began with my A/C that was out for two days when we had triple-digit temperatures, and it ended with my car costing $1550 in various repairs and maintenance. John was healing from a pulled tooth and an infected thumb, and I was dealing with three large, weepy, angry ant bites on my leg with itching that nearly drove me nuts. And now, compared to this fire hanging over our heads like a specter, last week was a picnic.

The entire West Coast is on fire, it seems. Washington and Oregon are badly impacted too. There seems to be no end in sight.

I am home working. Trying to keep my head and not lose it in panic and fear. And anger. Because this didn’t have to happen. And neither did the extremity of the Covid epidemic that’s keeping us from our loved ones at this highly stressful time.

Four years ago, I cried all night in fear, not knowing what exactly I was afraid of but feeling a sense of doom. Now I know exactly what I feared. All this. Living hell, truly. And I’m an atheist and don’t even believe in that crap. But if this isn’t hell, I don’t know what is. Out of control fires. Riots and protests and shootings. An out of control pandemic, with a so-called president who knew how bad it was but lied to all of us.

And that bloated monster is here in CA right now, blaming us for the fires. Go do your fucking hate rallies, you murderous lying bastard. We don’t want you here.

I know other people I love are suffering. This has been an awful year for just about everyone I know. Many tragedies and losses, illnesses, pain. It’s hard to feel like you can ask for support when everyone else needs it too. So… I’m just hunkering down and hoping. I’m not budging from my apartment, where it is quiet and safe. I will work. I need to pay my bills. Play is the furthest thing from my mind right now, so there’s no point in trying to keep up a spanking blog. When/if life calms a bit, I will get back to it.

Please hold a good thought for me. I am so scared.

Jillian’s Latest, and Mine Too

Many of you are aware that the uber-talented Jillian Keenan has her own YouTube channel, and has been posting videos about our favorite fetish, spanking. There is no actual spanking in these videos, but they’re not necessary, because the content is rich and funny and thought-provoking, and there’s something for everyone. Sometimes Jillian appears in these by herself; other times she has guests appear. Before Covid struck, she had many videos stocked up with other people in them. She does a great job of editing; the videos have a fully professional feel to them.

A couple of months or so ago (I’ve lost track of time this year), Jillian contacted me and asked if I’d like to contribute to a compilation video she was putting together of various spanking folks talking about how to handle play (or the lack thereof) during the pandemic. She said it could be very simple, just a quick video on my phone. I happily agreed. I was thrilled to be included. Also, it gave me an excuse to put on makeup, something I hadn’t done since when, February? Also, I’d just managed to get my hair cut, in between times the salons were shut down, so I had good hair. Vanity, thy name is Erica.

I shot it and sent it off; she let me know she got it and that she was very happy with it. I figured she had to collect all the other contributions and edit them together, so it might be a while.

Well, guess what — it went up this past weekend! John and I watched on Saturday. She got a wonderful collection of spankos together for this, from all over the world (Ariel Anderssen, Princess Kelley and Stephen Lewis, Pandora/Blake, Madame Samantha B, Pharaoh, Miss Rachel and Cassidy Lau), and what she did with all the bits of film was incredible. I thought she was just going to show us in turn, doing our spiel, but she cut us all together, going back and forth, taking turns — she did it in a way that made it look like we were all having one big conversation with one another. It was awesome! In fact, she ended up with so much material, she decided to make a Part 2. I think she used enough of my footage in Part 1 that I won’t be in the second one, but who knows.

Anyway, here tis:

https://youtu.be/5m73-08a9Dw

Please leave her a nice comment if you liked this! And give a watch to her other videos if you haven’t already. She has many. And if you wish to support her efforts and become one of her patrons, that’s an option as well.

In other news, I am officially in hell. We’ve had a record-breaking heat wave here in So. CA, and the power companies have been stretched to the max. It hit 114-115 both days at John’s house; his A/C is pretty strong, but we ran it day and night. It felt like an inferno outside. And I was scared that any minute, we’d have one of those rolling blackouts. Yeah, global warming is a hoax, my ass.

Yesterday when we went to pick up breakfast, my car nearly overheated. We got back, John looked under the hood, said all looked okay and it was probably just the extreme heat and the overload of blasting the A/C. I was still really nervous though, and anxious to get the drive home over with. John’s A/C was still working, but the heat had driven ants into his bathroom, which was swarming with them. He put out traps, but it takes a while for them to take effect.

I drove home, and sure enough, the car was fine. I didn’t blast the A/C this time, just halfway instead of full blast, and the temp gauge stayed squarely in the middle. I got my groceries and was so relieved when I got home. Ah, I thought. Now I hunker down, work, stay indoors and cool until this damned heat breaks.

Until I opened the door to my apartment and was not greeted with that welcome gust of cold air. Oh, no. No, no, no…

Yep. Our building’s A/C crapped out. And there’s nothing that can be done until at least Tuesday because of the holiday. I’m sure the demands for A/C repair are through the roof with this heat wave.

Swell. My apartment was 85 degrees. People said “Go back to John’s.” But I didn’t want to. I was afraid to keep pushing my luck, driving in this heat. Plus there were those damned ants. And his lack of WiFi, his glacial internet speed — I can visit fine, but I can’t get anything done there. Besides — guess what? Yup, he had a rolling blackout last night. Just for a couple of hours, but still.

What could I do? Nothing. So, since yesterday afternoon, this has been my new normal. I have several fans going. I have a spray bottle on my work table and I keep spritzing myself with water every few minutes. No, I’m not wearing any clothes. The lights are all turned off. I’m drinking cold water. I filled my bathtub with cold water and every now and then, I go take a dunk in it. Last night, I slept with two frozen bottles of water inside socks in my bed. And so it goes. As long as my power holds out, I will get through it. If it goes out, then I’m screwed. But hopefully it won’t. It hasn’t so far.

Goddammit. We were supposed to be in Vegas this weekend, having an altogether different kind of hot time. (sigh) Screw you, Covid. (And here’s the irony; Vegas would have actually been cooler!) To add insult to injury, I have two large, madly itching welts on my right leg. Ant bites??

This too shall pass. Please send all your ice-cold vibes.