Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 11/27

Been a long time since I’ve posted one of these. But of course, no matter what’s going on in the world, there are three things you can always count on: Death, taxes, and tacky messages on the internet.

What’s one of my all-time favorites, kids? The form letter with too much information. This one was sent to me not once, not twice, but three times.

I am a kinky Italian/S. American switch. As a Dom, I like spankings, floggings, bondage, breast bondage, tit torture, body worship, role playing, age play (Daddy/little girl), massage (giving and receiving), 69, dildo & butt plug training, hot candle wax play, and using & abusing all three holes of a submissive for My pleasure. If this sounds good to you, and if you like my pix, please reply and send me pix (face shot and full body shot).  Feel free to send Me explicit pix, especially if you want to see Mine.  };-)  Please email your pix to [email deleted] . Please include your screen name and the site name in your email. Cheers,  [name deleted]~ cell [deleted]  kik: [deleted] Hangouts & Skype: [deleted]

First… Blecchhh. Second, notice how many things I had to redact. Hey, paisan, you forgot to give me your social security number. Third, call me picky, but I’d kinda like to play with a man who thinks of me as a whole person, not “three holes.” Vaffanculo.

I would love to be your sissy slut, and I could give you total control of my dungeon, if you ever decide to visit Las Vegas, you have a place where you could stay and be worshiped, I would love to be your sissy cum slut, but also willing to switch if Mistress wishes. I’m very curious, and I am looking for my dominant Mistress/Switch.

The above falls under the heading of Read. My. F@#$ing. Profile. ‘Nuff said.

I’ve read your profile and yes, you’ve made my cock ache to ravage and fuck! I do crave a very intense wild hot kinky adventure of pure orgasmic bliss. If you’re truly ready to explore uninhibited sexual pleasure, let’s chat about the potential.

Dude. I just want a spanking, not the freaking Kama Sutra. Sorry I can’t help you with your aching cock; perhaps you should take matters into your own hands.

Hi there…I’m into spanking OTK….but that only makes my cock hard….and would want to penetrate that red, rosey ass after a thorough OTK spanking…

Yeah… you can’t always get what you want. But thanks for sharing. (shuddering)

Hi how are you my names Xxxx:P This is gonna sound weird lol but would you be down to give me a wedgie for being a nerd lolllll I would love to spank you so hard in return 😉 but if not it’s fine I wouldn’t wanna make you do something you aren’t comfortable with 🙂

Too late, pumpkin. Just having to read this made me uncomfortable. Also, apropos of absolutely nothing — wouldn’t lolllll mean “Laughing Out Loud Loud Loud Loud Loud”?

And finally, this one falls squarely under the “WTF????” heading:

are you willing to set aside time for me
to get acquainted with your FEMININE ODOR…???

My WHAT???
Honey, you come anywhere near my feminine bits, and the only odor you’ll get acquainted with is pepper spray. GTFOOH.

Sheeeeeeesh.

Switching gears, I’d like to be serious for a moment. Yesterday was Thanksgiving. As we all know, this has been one hell of a year and being thankful was a challenge to say the least. But then I got an e-card from my stepmother, we exchanged a couple of emails, and I know exactly what I’m grateful for this year, along with the usual (John, friends, home, job, etc.)

My stepmother was born during the Great Depression. She’s seen one hell of a lot in her 89 years, and while her body is very uncooperative these days, her mind is as sharp as a tack. She’s very politically aware, and four years ago when the syphilitic shitbag began his reign of kakistocracy, she was in utter despair. Sometime during the first year, she wrote this to me:

“I was born during one of the country’s darkest times, and now it looks like I’m going to die in another.”

That was hard to read. I cried a lot. She was going through a laundry list of health issues, and I was so afraid that despondency would compound the problems and she’d give up. I worried about her constantly, and even more so after the pandemic hit and I couldn’t go visit her. Before that, I hadn’t seen her for a long time because she’d had several surgeries and wasn’t up for seeing anyone.

BUT. Here we are, four years later. Her surgeries were successful and she’s feeling much better. She did it… she stuck around and outlived the Agolf Twitler presidency. I am so, so relieved and thankful. And I hope I get to see her soon. ♥

Stay well and safe… and have a great weekend, y’all.

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14 thoughts on “Correspondence Hall of Shame, 11/27

  1. Bob in Wisconsin on said:

    I’m always delighted when you post another installment of your Correspondence Hall of Shame. There weren’t as many misspellings in these latest entries as I’m used to, but the content was quite amusing in a gag-me-with-a-spoon sort of way. It never ceases to amaze me what some guys seem to think will be alluring to a woman, even those “lusty trollops” who have the audacity to say they’re intrigued by a little kink. Case in point: the fellow who wanted to “… get acquainted with your FEMININE ODOR”! Sheesh!

    Your stepmom sounds like a wonderful woman. And I’m delighted to hear that, at her age, she now knows that she won’t have to die in another of the country’s darkest times. Because that definitely is an excellent characterization of the past four years in the age of Adolf Twitter. I hope that you and John have a wonderful, carefree and relaxing weekend ahead of you.

    Like

    • Bob — I remembered how much you enjoy these!
      My stepmother is indeed amazing. She’s the same woman who once quipped, “If we’re all made in God’s image, then God is an asshole.”

      Like

      • Bob in Wisconsin on said:

        I’m pleased that you thought of me when you posted this, Erica. You could make a whole series out of past CHoS entries. They’re chock full of real gems from the bottom feeders (no pun intended) of the kink community.

        And your stepmom is someone I wish I could have met. She reminds me of my wife’s grandma. She was the quintessential sweet old lady in a lot of ways, but she cursed like a sailor. She got a speeding ticket one time in some jerkwater little town, which she always referred to as “that dog fucker town.” One day one of our little nieces was traveling with her parents near that town and asked, innocently, whether they could stop “for an ice cream in Dog Fucker.”

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Erica,

    I love CHOS! I get some weird messages, but they are almost normal compared with yours. It seems that Mr. Curious Sissy wasn’t quite curious enough to do five seconds of research.

    So I have to ask… Speaking of CHOS, did you give up on Curious Cat because of the village idiots or did they evict you for delivering a well deserved spicy response?

    I have a housebound friend from your stepmother’s generation. She survived both the depression and WWII. 2020 seems to her like both of them at the same time. She too now seems likely to outlast Humpty Trumpty.

    Have a fine weekend!

    Socially distanced virtual hugs,
    Bonnie

    Like

  3. I’m so glad your stepmother is feeling better and that she gets to see Trump get the fuck out of the White House. 💗 I swear…watching that asshole whining and making everyone wait on him while he screws around is messing with my PTSD. 😑

    Like

  4. Bonnie — yeahhh… I mean, to each their own, of course, but for heaven’s sake, take a damn minute to read a profile before you waste your time (and mine) when we are so clearly not a match.
    As for CuriousCat, ha, no, I wasn’t evicted. It was fun for a while, and then it got tedious.

    Jay — nauseating, isn’t it? Two more months of this shit… (sigh)

    Like

  5. I’ve been busy writing and have been falling way behind on reading blogs, but a Correspondence Hall of Fame will nearly always break through the backlog. Then I HAD to comment to tell you that Agolf Twitler is the best insult name I’ve heard for Trump yet.

    Like

    • Xen — writing is good! And I can’t claim credit for the insult name. On Twitter, it’s one of many, many names the Fuhrer has earned himself. I just enjoy repeating them. Due to his tantrums of late, the current hashtag is #DiaperDon.

      Like

  6. I’m also glad your stepmother survived to see Trump defeated. It would be a tragedy to die in the last year or so while he was still in office–late enough to see the devastation but too early to have any real hope it will be repaired.

    As for Ew, the Italian, at least he told you exactly what he’s looking for. That makes it so much easier, because you can reject it immediately.

    But since it had so much personal information, it makes me wonder if it wasn’t just fraudulent.

    Here’s a message to make up for Ew: “Hope you have wonderful holidays and a vastly better new year.”

    Like

  7. When it comes to kink more than any other quirk or preference, there is often a unifying theme to even the most diverse fetish-laden correspondence: pathos. In fact, my primary discomfort with not only correspondence of the nature presented here, but kinky captions, certain comments on blogs I refer to as nonseXquiturs, personal ads, stories, etc. is rooted in that same sense of pathos. There has rarely been a time that a kinky theme itself upset me more, regardless of how strange it might have sounded. Taken singly, notes likes these can be gross, funny in a way, or at least eyeroll fodder, but collectively the stench of pathetic desperation that clings to all of them puts me off more than their idiosyncrasies entertain. Sometimes I react with humor myself…..like the Caption Hell Tumblr I tried for a while which mocked the worst captioned photos I found in my searches…..or even anger as I deleted “nonseXquiturs” from my blog with snarky warnings to the offenders, but after a while their sad desperation just grinds away at me, and even the jokes don’t help. Maybe I’m just getting old and have been exposed to the unnecessary yet tangible frustration of others for too long?

    This post, especially as it is a recurring feature here, has prompted an idea for a post of my own. I will let you know when it is up.

    By the way, you did a magnificent job of turning the post in a much more uplifting direction with the story about your stepmother!

    Like

  8. Anonymous on said:

    What is thought-provoking is that these ‘people’ are more literate and spell
    better than Trump’s lawyer Sidney Powell. (Distrcroict – Districct).
    Whatever law school she attended must have a pretty low bar for admission.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’ll keep this short and just wish you a happy Thanksgiving Erica. Corona or not, we’ve all got something positive in our lives somewhere, which we can be thankful for.

    Like

  10. Rich — I hope you do too!

    KD — interesting and thoughtful take. NonseXquiturs, love it! Well, here’s my deal. I get this crap, whether I want it or not. It’s real. People are this ignorant and stupid. So, rather than silently stew over it (since I rarely do anything silently), I had decided a long time ago to make a column of it, display these messages for laughs. (As you can see, I remove all identifiers, so it remains fully anonymous.) It blows off steam for me, and gives people a snicker. And we need our snickers (and our milky ways) more than ever right now.

    Anonymous — Trump has always surrounded himself with the best and the brightest.

    Kyrel — same to you, and thanks.

    Like

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