Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

So… what would you say?

There are two types of spankos who exist on Facebook: people who use their real names and keep their FB pages and posts vanilla, or people who are open about their kink and often (but not always) use a fetish-y name. I got a friend request there from a guy with a regular name, but he had spanking pictures all over his page, so I figured okay, we’re kindred spirits and I accepted the request.

I then had access to his full page and when I scanned down it, I saw this:

Jesus, Murray and Jehoshaphat — before I could ponder that, first I had to scrape myself off the floor and the walls and go take a cold shower. What is it about a handsome man in a suit?? (BTW, no, this isn’t the FB guy.) After that, just for grins, I posted the picture on both FetLife and Twitter to see what others might have to say about it.

One FetLife friend commented: “This is easy. ‘You’ll wrinkle your suit, Sir.’ ” That one cracked me up.

But then a Twitter friend reminded me about this recent post regarding my awkward incident with a top’s dress pants. So of course, now I had my own answer.

“Well, sir, you may have a very uncomfortable encounter with your dry cleaner after I spooge your slacks.”

Of course, then he’d probably still spank me and then order me to take the damn pants to the dry cleaner myself.

Which, by the way, I would do. Because there’s just something about a handsome man in a suit… wait, I already said that. Dammit.

On a completely different note, this FB guy I friended sent me a message, saying hello, thanks for accepting the friend request, and was I into spanking as well. I said yes, I was, but I tend to be very subtle about it on FB out of respect for vanilla friends.

He then replied, “Cool. Are you trans?”

Um… what?

Okay, maybe I’m out of touch. Is this a standard “getting to know you” question now?? Or was this wildly inappropriate to ask right out of the gate? I am truly baffled. It’s not the question that bothers me; it’s the timing of it. “Hi, nice to meet you, are you trans?” Jeeez.

After sitting in stunned silence for a moment, I wrote back that I am a cisgender female, and that’s a very odd question to spring on a perfect stranger. He replied that he meant no offense and then dropped the conversation. Good grief.

Sometimes, I just can’t with people.

(sigh) Have a great weekend, y’all. Be safe. ♥

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16 thoughts on “So… what would you say?

  1. I actually really love saying that line when I have them standing in front of me 🤨😁
    And A+ on the stern look it matches perfectly, I’ve had a couple of good comebacks from it actually, never know what reasons they could come up with.

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  2. It does seem weird to ask about gender status right out of the gate like that. It makes me think he really wanted to be sure one way or the other, so he could decide on a desire level and a strategy for seduction. It’s unclear whether he was hoping for cisgender or transgender…

    If it were me looking for someone, I’d just wait to get to know someone better or just check for their pronouns in their profile.

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  3. Zack — I can definitely see you doing this, my friend.

    Quai — yeahhh… just doesn’t seem like the usual icebreaker to me!

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  4. I don’t know whether to give him the benefit of the doubt and say maybe he’s just not socially savvy and wants to be extra careful to respect everyone’s pronouns…? But the fact that he dropped the conversation makes me think he’s either someone who fetishizes trans women or who is the transphobic type who thjnks girls should have ro pass a genital check to play sports. I think anyone who was being that careful about pronouns would have given a much better apology than”sorry to offend.”

    And yes, “give me one good reason” is very squirmy. I think I’d say… nothing. I’d not be able to come up with a satisfactory answer. 😂

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  5. Heidi M on said:

    Yes, its a weird question Erica although, having used these websites for a good few years, i have learned not to be surprised by anything!

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  6. Xen — I probably wouldn’t be able to either, if I came face to face with him… yikes.

    Heidi — every time I think I’ve heard it all, I hear something else!

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  7. My response to the guy in your captioned photo: “Because if you tried, I’d punch your smug, frat-boy face.”

    Then I’d go off and wonder what sort of vibe I was sending to have received such an offer in the first place. LOL

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  8. “You won’t respect me in the morning.”

    Everything seems to be about gender these days. Any questionnaire I get, even from the government, includes many choices for gender. Jeez!

    However, when I worked in live insurance many years ago, there were five choices for gender or sex on the application: Male, female, male/female, male/male, and female/female. The last three were for joint policies.

    Now I have to go look up cisgender.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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  9. Anonymous on said:

    No doubt the picture was a great opening. Unfortunately he did not seem to know how hot close the deal. I do hope you find a gentleman in a suit to put you over his knee. Seems like a great scene to play out..

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  10. JustAnotherBoomer on said:

    As I commented on your story of your “return home” [“Finally!!!,” 19 May], in our house we were blessed through the pandemic — and KNEW it — that spanker and spankette live together. Unlike the isolation so many have suffered this past year and more, we actually found much more time together during the pandemic than in the before times. My lovely bride’s poor bottom was rarely less than pink, and we actually had to make a conscious effort to scale back a bit.

    Like everyone, our attire got progressively more casual. Even when I had court “appearances,” or “meetings” it was via Zoom, so standard attire was blazer, shirt and tie – over gym shorts and sandals. Round about last May, MLB said to me at dinner that, while she loved that we were together all the time, she sort of “missed you coming home from the office.” Hint taken. That afternoon she was in a business Zoom in the guest room and I had a lull, so I got into full battle rattle: Fresh shave, my best Brooks Brothers, crisp white shirt, rep tie, cuff links, the good watch, black wingtips (we call “dad shoes”), cologne. When I knew she was finished with her meeting, I sent her a text (we’d text across the house a lot) and asked if she might make us both a snack as I was “so busy.” Once she was in the kitchen I went out the front door and back in, shouting “Honey, I’m home!” like a sitcom dad.

    Married 30 years and who knows how many hundreds of times I’ve warmed her bottom, but I had NO idea the effect a suit could have until that moment. I’m hardly a “handsome man in a suit,” but I was indeed a man in a handsome suit and that seemed to do the trick.

    Here’s wishing you all the best as we all so happily get back to wearing ALL parts of our clothes in the restored normal.

    Liked by 1 person

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