Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 6/11

Happy Friday, kids. Don’t know about any of you, but I had a rotten week and I feel like blowing off a little steam. So I thought I’d share the latest crop (or crock, if you will) of inappropriate missives.

This first one is a little different. It actually starts out okay… but then shows how quickly these things can go so far sideways it makes your head spin. It’s from Spanking Tube, which I’m not on that often, but every now and then I get a notice of a friend request or message. This guy sent one message, asking if I’d ever be interested in sessioning with him, and could we have an online dialogue. Sure, what the hell, I said okay, let’s talk.

His second message (mind you, I didn’t even know his name yet) began as follows:

If you really wanted to get together for an on or off camera spanking session I do offer room accommodations as well as some spending money as a reward for your cooperation with the session. I know meeting up with a big 6 foot 4 man with muscles like me can be intimidating for you. So if you wanted to build some trust beforehand that is great. But was thinking we could arrange something based on what you want as well.

Sounds okay so far, right? Yeah. Read on.

Like if you are alright with having your rectum spread wide open with inspection gloves for rectal thermometer readings / enemas, receiving seated hand strappings with a large heavy duty rough leather strap, etc. I am quite stern when in a session and can really command authority with an authoritative voice and no nonsense style of dishing out pure discipline.

blinking Um… what’s that now?

Talk about 0 to 360. Ye gods. Is it just me, or is that a mighty big assumption, figuring a session would naturally segue from a simple spanking into… all that? Mind you, I know some people would enjoy it. However, introducing major anal at the gate before you’ve even told a woman your name is… disconcerting, to say the least. No, thank you. I like the stern bit and the authoritative voice (although “command authority with an authoritative voice” is redundant), but leave my rectum out of it, please.

Back to the usual dreck:

I love the blood and scars on your beaten ass …You’re so pretty …I want to fuck you up and hurt you

The what on my what? Okay, clearly this wasn’t intended for me. I may very well have hundreds of pictures out there, but there isn’t a single one with blood and scars. It’s not my play style. Soooo… NO. Thanks for saying I’m pretty, but no.

 I love to spank a nice ass then eat it and finish with a robust fucking. <Smile>

You want a side of fava beans with that? You are not eating any part of me, sorry.

Nothing like reddening a sweet looking ass and spreading it wide to slide into. Lol

(sigh) Are you sensing a theme here? And oh, did I mention that the above two entries came with, uh, illustrations? Yup. As if I needed a picture drawn, both had graphic depictions of the described activity. Good grief.

From a complete stranger:

You are long overdue a long spanking … you are fiesty and unruly and playful and need to be manhandled… over my knee… your panties yanked down and your arms firmly pushed into the small of your back and spanked hard.. long and hard. and I will feel you up to see how wet you get.

Oh, you will, huh? Presumptuous much? By the way, you might want to rephrase this, cookie. It reads like you want to spank my arms. And FFS, learn how to spell fEIsty.

And finally, this one isn’t just obnoxious, it also seems to be a victim of Autocorrect.

Love a sassy little b**** the lights are ass reddened before she gets f*****

The asterisks are not mine, BTW; this is exactly how it was typed. So… HUH?? Took me a minute, but I figured “the lights are” was intended to read “that likes her.” At least that would make sense. Still rude, though.

The fun never stops, does it. I am so ready to kiss this week goodbye. Thanks for helping me laugh at this nonsense! Have a great weekend, y’all. Be safe. ♥

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11 thoughts on “Correspondence Hall of Shame, 6/11

  1. I found the second message by the spanking tube guy creepy AF. The first line is weirdly transactional, but I can’t tell if maybe he’s talking about actual paid camera work, in which case transactional would make some sense I guess. But “ I know meeting up with a big 6 foot 4 man with muscles like me can be intimidating for you” is simultaneously patronizing and arrogant.

    Of course all the other messages are definitely worse, but that ones already a yikes from me…

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  2. (Sorry about the weird punctuation. My iPad displays WordPress comment boxes 1/2 line at a time so I can’t quite read what I’m typing…)

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  3. Anonymous on said:

    Some people aren’t worth the air they are using up – like that sicko who wrote to you.

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  4. I feel the poor fellow’s pain. I’ve never been able to discern why, but every single time I tell a girl that I want her “rectum spread wide open with inspection gloves for rectal thermometer readings / enemas,” they ALWAYS walk away! One even called the cops! Women are just so damn fickle.

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  5. OMG! these are beyond the realm of obnoxious even. As a spanker, of course I understand why they want you otk (as I’d love), but there are these little things (sar) like getting to know each other, maintaining limits, insuring that both parties are on the same page with what is ok, etc. Fortunately, we know you are not a wall flower, but I wonder if these guys have pushed past limits before, which I find atrocious.

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  6. Xen — I agree, the first guy’s message was hardly ideal. If he had stopped at part one, though, it wouldn’t have made it into the CHoS. (shuddering)

    Anonymous — what can I tell you… people are strange.

    Bob in W — ha! Yeah, what’s with us, anyway?? Can’t please us for trying!

    Bob — what a concept, getting to know someone. I’ll have to try that sometime, if I can find someone willing to do it with me.

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  7. major eyeroll…..like an eyeroll that leads to strabismus….or at least a headache.<

    What is it with men? I can switch, and have done so. It’s just not a driving desire and now, I am in a relationship and such encounters are off the table. BUT, in my fucking sleep, I could write a better intro than these jokers. How hard is it? Just be a human being for a minute and establish some sort of rapport. Without that why would you want a session anyway…..from either role?

    But I’m going to go a step further and say something unpopular here (go figure. Like I’ve never gone down THAT road before LOL) but while I think part of it is male idiocy, I also think the panting, sighing, wet panties reaction some sub women give to any guy who acts macho and assertive is what has trained these bozos to behave this way.

    I’ve seen women drool over guys that look like they themselves need a good ass-kicking rather than do any ass-beating themselves. So while these goons are humorous to react to, I wonder how many have been “trained” into this facade and have actually been relatively successful with this boorish act? Sad to say but men tend to “say what works” and perhaps these little intros have worked for these goys before?

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  8. Heidi M on said:

    Hi Erica. In my search for a Top, i get similar kind of extreme messages but what always amuses me is that those guys sending that type of message tend to be the ones whose profile is the most straight-laced. I dont know why they dont just put that stuff in the profile instead of concealing their true desires until they are in dialogue. Any theories?

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    • KD — speaking of major eye roll, I often like to say I’ve rolled my eyes back so many times, I can see out my ass.
      I don’t know what drives people to write this crap. And yes, sadly, there has to be someone out there responding to it, or it wouldn’t be so rampant. But you’d think they’d figure who wants it and who doesn’t!

      Heidi — beats me. Bait and switch? Lure in people with a more conservative profile and then lower the boom? Stupid idea, if you ask me.

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  9. Ariel on said:

    Yes, I had a bad week too, and yes, I still am, and this made me laugh. It does sound like one guy wants to spank your arms, I have no idea how you made sense of “the lights are ass reddened,” and I love that you edited one of your correspondents (if one-way communication can have correspondents). Thank you for making me laugh!

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    • Ariel — I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. Sometimes, all we can do is laugh, so we don’t cry. I hope things get better.
      Well, I’m an editor, so I’m used to deciphering weird stuff. But that was a challenge!

      Liked by 1 person

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