Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Drop is real

This morning, I watched Jillian Keenan’s latest video about Spanko Drop, something that many of us can relate to. It’s the sucky side of what we do, the what-goes-up-must-come-down reality of it. I think she detailed it well and covered all the salient points. We all need to know what this is, that we’re normal, and that we’re not alone.

And that it will pass. I am reminding myself of that right now, actually.

Last week I got to play. It was intense and lovely and stimulating and exciting. C was sweet and did all the right things, checking in with me in the days that followed. I wish more tops understood about how some of us need those check-ins. Then again, we bottoms need to make that need known more, it seems. We just expect that the top knows. Not always the case.

My stress levels have been off the charts recently for various reasons. After my scene last week, I think my body finally rebelled, everything surfaced, and my legs erupted in hives. I get these periodically, stress hives, and there’s nothing I can do about them except take Zyrtec, douse them with calamine lotion, Benadryl cream, and aloe vera, and wait them out, willing myself not to scratch them and trying not to fixate on how ugly they are. Then I went to my chiropractor with my right hip hurting and he said those muscles were in spasm. Oh, goody. So I slogged through the rest of the week itching and hurting and struggling to keep up with work and do what needed to be done.

Now I feel a little better physically… but my mood is blech. And I’m recognizing it as drop. “Yeah, but you got to play!” I hear people saying. I did. But I don’t know when I will again. I’m feeling so out of the loop with the community I once called home. I’m missing friends I once had. Still dealing with Covid isolation and struggling to figure out what’s okay and what isn’t. I don’t want to live in the past. I want to forge ahead and make new memories, have more joys. And have them more frequently.

So yeah, I guess I’m droppy today. Which is totally normal. Knowing that makes it much more acceptable. I am grateful I have a name to put to these feelings, a very real physiological and emotional reason for them. It’s the adult version of post-birthday crash. Or post holidays, or whatever thrilled us and wound us up as kids.

Here’s to self-care. Here’s to compassion and empathy for people dealing with this. And here’s to knowing that we are okay.

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3 thoughts on “Drop is real

  1. I love her videos too and saw that one the other day also. I love her stuff because, well, it’s real and not pornified. Plus, I think she is beautiful and I may or may not have a school-boy crush on her! *smile Funny how smart looks sexy!

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  2. It was a good video. Especially for anyone new to playing. The first time it happened to me, I did not have a clue what was going on. It would have been good to have had some warning about it.

    In the old days, back in the UK, we used to call it “Crashing”. When did the name change?

    Prefectdt

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  3. subhub — I am certain you’re not the first — or the last — to have a crush on her!

    Prefectdt — hmmm. Maybe because the computer world took over the term “crashing”? Dunno. And yes, knowing what’s behind those feelings is a huge help.

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