Ho ho, Fa la, etc., ad nauseam
What time is it, kids? It’s Xmas carol parody time! My faithful readers out there know that I do one of these every year. (For a refresher, here’s last year’s efforts.) My offering for this year is brief, but you know, Covid and all the other BS kind of put a stopper in my creative flow. Still, the show must go on.
Some of you may recall that a couple of years ago, I parodied “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer” with “Donald, the Orange Menace.” But that didn’t really count, since it was politically oriented and had nothing to do with our favorite pastime. So this year, I present to you, “Rudolph, the Red-Palmed Spanker.” Oh… and yes, this is written in M/F orientation. Sorry, y’all, that’s just how I roll.
You know paddles that sting you and canes that can ding you,
Brushes and straps and the pain that they bring you,
But do you recall
The hardest spanker of all?
Rudolph the Red-Palmed Spanker
Had a very heavy hand
And if you ever felt it
You would swear that it’s a brand
All of the small-town housewives
Used to laugh and sneer “That’s lame,”
They never let their husbands
Play in any kinky games
Then one night the men got peeved
And they came to say
“Rudolph, with your hand of might
Won’t you spank our wives tonight?”
Now all the brats respect him
And they line up for his knee
Rudolph, the Red-Palmed Spanker,
Takes their panties down with glee!
And so it goes, another year. At least we’re having some seasonal weather here in CA for a change and I got to blow the dust off my sweaters. No holiday plans, but you know me… not my thing anyway. Doing my best to avoid the endless loops of Xmas music and schmaltzy commercials, and hoping that my kind of fun will be happening soon. Be safe and well, everyone. Happy holidays of your choosing. Scrooge out.
Another good one.
Cute parody regardless of orientation!
For equal F/m time, how about….
“Frosty the snow-slave, knelt on chilly, icy knees.
His butt was snow, so his spankers know.
that he caused their palms to freeze.”
Rae — thanks! Glad you liked it.
KD — HAHAHAHAHAH! Well done. Equal time!
That put me right in the spirit of the season, Erica!
Bob — not the Hallmark spirit, I’m thinking!
Ha, this is great! I’m sure my wife would be more than happy to get in line.
Very clever, Erica. love it. I have been surfing youtube for songs, and often thought Gretchen Wilson’s sequel to Redneck Women should have been Red Butt Woman. btw.
Merry Christmas, all.
A fun parody – I love it. The best part of being socially isolated and staying away from the malls is not having to listen to the endless loop of holiday music.
Thank you, Erica, for that bit of spanko holiday jolliness! May your holidays be peaceful, safe, and over quickly. 🙂
Jon — I would too!
Bob K — I am not familiar with Gretchen Wilson, but yeah, that sounds like a logical sequel. Thanks!
Hermione — pretty much the only place I am hearing holiday music is in the market, and that’s fine by me!
Bonnie — over quickly, that’s for sure! Hugs to you too, and happy holidays.
Erica, I picked a harder song to parody (Redneck women), but will try:
‘Cause I’m a red butt woman
I ain’t no pale skin gal
I’m just really enjoy that stuff and how
I say, “Yes Sir” and “squeal while saying OW”
I keep my nose pressed to the wall just as Sir demands
On my table is the hairbrush he will use after his hand
I know all the words to Madonnas Hanky Panky song
So here’s to all my sisters who hope every spankings long
Hell yeah (Hell yeah)
Out there keeping it OTK and as hard as it can be
Let me get a big “hell yeah” and sniffling too from me
From the red butt girls like me
Hell yeah (Hell yeah)
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