Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

2021…

… can go fuck itself with a 2 x 4. Sideways. With nails sticking out of it.

I was all prepared to post something altogether different for the last day of the year. Following the example of other bloggers doing top tens and favorites lists, I was going to write up my favorite things that tops say and do, with plenty of pictures. It was going to be sexy, sassy, and fun.

But today, Betty White died. The internet exploded in grief. And so did I. And I no longer give a rat’s ass about ending 2021 on a happy, positive note. Because it’s impossible, and to try to pretend otherwise would be disingenuous.

Look, I know she was ninety-nine years old. Even though she was a much-beloved national treasure and we all wished she’d live forever, she had a good long life. But what I cannot stand is that it was a mere eighteen days before her 100th birthday. A day that promised celebration, commemoration, live streams of Betty herself, retrospectives, the sheer joy of this incredible woman reaching such a milestone. That as I write, the goddamn newsstands are plastered with copies of the latest People magazine, with Betty smiling joyfully on the cover and the headline, “Betty White Turns 100!” Ugh.

Eighteen fucking days. But no. 2021 had to have one last punch to the gut. This miserable year had to send us all out in tears.

Yeah. I know that New Year’s Eve is the day we reflect, we think about the past year, our accomplishments, the good things that happened, things we’re grateful for. Ring out the old, ring in the new. You know what? Fuck that.

Tomorrow a new year begins. I’ll be with the man I love. I’ll take a few deep breaths, dry my eyes, and do my damnedest to look forward. To hope for better days. But right now, I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m crying. I hate life’s random cruelty, its inherent unfairness. I am beside myself with grief over all the sadness and pain of this past year. And I’m just going to let myself wallow in it for this one day.

Monday, January 3, will be a reset. On that day, I’m seeing Chris (I hope; there is a concern about snowstorms and a 12-hour drive probably should wait until better weather). Not only will it start my year off with a good experience, with something I need with all my heart and soul, it will help erase the utterly shitty play experience I had in recent months that left me feeling so lousy. It will restore my faith that there are men out there who get me, who know what I need and want, who want the same, who know how to deliver it. I told him I was worried about his drive, but he said he just got new snow tires and he’s very confident that it will go fine.

But right now, I am more than ready to kiss this year goodbye. Fuck off, 2021. Fuck off, Covid, Delta, Omicron, and all your other goddamn variants. Fuck off, anti-vaxxers who are keeping this pandemic going. Fuck off, Q-Anon and GOP. Fuck off, MAGAts. Fuck off, gun nuts. Fuck off, wildfires and all the other casualties of climate change, and the people who don’t want to cooperate with trying to save the planet. Fuck off, deaths of beloved icons. Fuck off, bazillionaires playing around in space while zillions are homeless. Go right to hell, every last one of you.

(sigh) And to my friends… I’m sorry. I really wanted this last post of the year to be better, funnier, happier. I still love you all, and wish the very best for you. Please take care, be safe, and hug your loved ones.

See you on the other side.


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18 thoughts on “2021…

  1. Joel Crawford on said:

    Hi Erica

    I feel the same way about both 2020 and 2021!! So glad those two years are behind us😔. I agree about everything you said about Betty White. May she RIP!! And I truly am of the hope that 2022 will see a year that will I hope be much more kinder to us all.

    Kind Regards and all the best for 2022 Erica.

    Joel

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  2. I don’t think there’s a person in the world who appreciates a good, full-on, barn-burner of a rant as much as I do, and as rants go, this one delivered. But……..

    ……now that you’ve let that all out, take a nice deep breath. have a nice snuggle with John, and try to put everything in perspective.

    I am not naive enough to think a ball dropping in Times Square is going to make 2021 go away and be replaced by something miraculously better, but tomorrow I will celebrate January 1st with my family coming for dinner and drinks, seeing my grandson, and otherwise using the day as an excuse to squeeze some fun out of the bounty of good stuff that makes me feel a lot luckier than an awful lot of others out there.

    Even Betty White went out on a high note, beloved by many, financially and professionally successful, and with a good long run to enjoy it all. Way WAY better than what most who died in 2021 ever enjoyed, even without the 100th birthday celebration. So yeah, it’s a shame she missed it but I think if she was around to ask about it, she’d have made a droll sarcastic joke about the irony of it all, with maybe a bawdy innuendo worked in for good measure.

    Try doing something fun today and tomorrow with your own circle. I think even Betty would have advised us all to do the same.

    And have a Happy New Year…..even if it’s just a one day excuse for a private mini-party.

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  3. I had not heard about Betty White and my heart is broken.

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  4. Jenny Bell on said:

    Hi! Erica, I’m so sad you are so sad , dear Betty was a real sweetheart, I had a neighbour who at the age of 100 decided to move herself into a nursing home, she passed away 4 years later, when SHE was ready. PLEASE BE HAPPIER SOON OK? Jenny Adelaide S Australia

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  5. Joel — thank you. All the best to you. ♥

    KD — wise words. Thank you. I know you’re right.
    I really hadn’t intended on a post like this. But in order to embrace the suck, first I have to acknowledge it. Fully. No sugarcoating or platitudes. Because sometimes, things just fucking suck. Wishing you all the best in 2022.

    Rae — yeah… mine too. I’m sorry.

    Jenny — I’ll try.

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  6. On the bright side, my now deceased ex brother-in;law, who was a Reinsurance Underwriter would say White died almost having completed her 100th year. In their statistics, someone who is 20 years old just entered their 21st year. (Just think when we turned one we began that day our 2nd year.).

    So the day Betty White turned 99, she entered her 100th year, and she got through 95% of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m sorry it ended on that sad note for you (and all of us), Erica. And as Bob said, one can play around the absoluteness of numbers in many fashions — there are always the lunar calendars, and the ancient Egyptian solar one without leap years (those 25 days per 100 years would have made Betty a 100 and a week to boot).

    But the message behind it all, and the need to vent some of the frustration and grief will lingers nevertheless. And I hope the new year (in any calendar and having any number of days) will bring forth less sad memories and more happy ones as we reflect upon it when it passes, for you and the readers of your lovely blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. One good thing, mood wise, I think that the only way is up from here, for both you and me. 2022 better be better than 2021, or I’m gonna take it out to the woodshed and show it that I am more than capable of switching, with a vengeance.

    Have a Happier New Year

    Prefectdt

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  9. At the stroke of Midnight on New Year’s Eve, I have always joined in screaming “Happy New Year!”

    Always. A lot of years.

    This year I startled myself and everyone else. What came out of my mouth was, “Fuck You!”

    I am really bitter about this last year. I did not realize how much until it exploded out of me. I did not know I was going to say that. I just did.

    So I am very glad to hear someone else doing the same thing.

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  10. Last year was pretty awful, on the whole, and I doubt we have much to look forward to. Covid has a firm grip on the world. US democracy is hanging by a thread and, as a former PM said, The US is like living beside an elephant, and “one is affected by every twitch and grunt.” There’s been a whole lot of twitching and grunting over the past four years.

    I was also saddened by Betty’s passing. She was a classy lady.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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  11. Well the image that made me feel a bit better about losing Betty was the possibility that she decided to dive into the abyss, find whatever has been running things since 2016 and kick it squarely in the dick before taking over herself and getting shit back on track.

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  12. Mark — I think a lot of of us were doing that, honestly. The rest of us were drunk. Or asleep.

    Hermione — (sigh) I am not expecting much, and hoping to be pleasantly surprised. I guess that’s the best I can do right now.

    J — I also read that she knew 2021 already sucked, and she didn’t want to ruin 2022. Religious folks are imagining her with the beloved husband she lost 40 years ago. Yet others are picturing her reuniting with all the animals she loved. I think she just got tired. I don’t blame her.

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  13. And a happy New Year to you too Erica. May 2022 turn out to be a lot better than 2021.

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  14. This year is going to be a good one, well that’s what I’m telling myself.

    I hope you had a wonderful day today (Monday).

    Love and best wishes to you and John for the year ahead,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  15. Kyrel — yes, I hope so.

    Ronnie– thank you. I am going to have a very wonderful day today! Wishing you and P all the best.

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  16. I had the same reaction regarding Betty White. The universe couldn’t let her make 100?? My (geographic) community also took a huge, huge gut punch at the very end of the year. I was so happy to see 2020 in the rear view mirror, and while 2021 may not have been that much worse, it also wasn’t that much better, and for certain areas like my community, 2021 actually was worse. By a lot.

    But, at heart I am either a stoic or an outright optimist. I have hope that in 2022 we’ll finally start breaking out of this truly shitty cycle the whole world has been in.

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    • Dan — I’m so sorry — I hope that geographic gut punch isn’t what I think it is. May your community recover as best it can. And yeah… I guess a little optimism would be a good thing now. Because sinking into despair sucks.

      Like

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