Correspondence Hall of Shame, 4/22
Happy Earth Day. You know, sometimes I can’t believe I’m still posting this particular column. But no matter how much change happens, some things remain the same. Dicks will be dicks. And speaking of which…
i love you already. i wanna tie you, use you and abuse you, as i make you gag on my cock..i wanna clamp your nipples, and make you scream as i pull them slowly, while you gag on my cock.
Notice how he mentions gagging on his cock not once, but twice. A bit fixated on our size, are we? I get the sense that if I were to encounter this guy, I’d be gagging long before his member was introduced.
Here’s a charmer — a guy who took exception to my political stance and wrote me a long, drawn-out, racist pro-Trump screed. I’ve clipped just a portion of it here:
Enjoy the crime ridden slums of what used to be a great place to live…sunny SO CAL…you should join BLM and let the brothers use your ass for target practice…LOL
(sigh) Don’t you just love people who laugh at their own so-called humor? Although in this dude’s case, I think instead of Laughing Out Loud, LOL stands for Lord Of Logorrhea. (Go on, look it up.)
John said I should have answered that the murder rate is much higher in red states than blue, so before I could enjoy living in a crime-ridden slum, I’d have to move to one. But nahhh… didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of an answer, so I just hit “Block.”
Do you want to be my bitch?
No. (Brevity is the soul of get-the-fuck-outta-my-face.)
Is it okay if I masturbate while looking at your pictures?
Why are you bothering to ask, when it’s pretty obvious you’re already doing so?
I would love to help make you’re tushy red 🙂
Ew ew EWWWWW. And yes, I’m more grossed out by that stupid baby word than I am by the fact that he doesn’t know “your” from “you’re.”
Hi, I do not live next to you but I would love to have fun with you if you want of course, I am looking for someone to control me in a video call and tell me what to do and how to do and I will listen to everything she tells me to do, if you tell me to bring hand quickly or slowly or insert finger or swallow Whatever you tell me is done
(sigh) For the gazillionth time, a little louder for those in the back: I. Am. Not. A. Domme. Whatever I tell you? Okay. Go waste someone else’s time.
And finally… Y’all know how we sometimes doctor our bottom pics with little stickers or emojis over the more revealing bits? Well, in my case, I’m really not fond of the proctologist’s view. So I’ve been known to cover that in my bare bottom pictures. However, someone found an older pic of me on FetLife before I learned how to edit photos. And they posted this comment:
Really? Honey, I certainly hope you’re referring to stroking your own butthole. Because if you even think about touching mine, your nickname will forever be “9 1/2 Fingers.”
Every now and then, I feel the need to remind everyone that I do actually get some wonderful messages from people, and that I’m not Negative Nellie every damn minute. A woman on FetLife wrote to me asking if she could quote something I’d written, and ended with this:
We haven’t officially met yet but we have many friends in common. I do hope our paths will cross some day as I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you and because I can tell from your fet and twitter that you are one hell of an amazing human!
I told her this made my day. ♥ For all the suckage, there is good to be found on the internet.
Have a great weekend, y’all. Stay safe.
I see that you have collected more mind-numbing drivel from some of your “admirers.” Your Correspondence Hall of Shame has always been one of my favorite entries in your blog. A lot of the things these dolts say to you often make me laugh and sometimes just make my jaw drop. I’m glad, though, that one person actually said something intelligible — and complimentary. I’ve referred several people to your blog because it’s entertaining, often funny, and always well written.
Just when you think they can’t go any lower.
Bob — thank you so much. Oh, and I may have mentioned this before, but you get big points for knowing it’s “drivel” and not “dribble.”
bklynny — there is no bottom to the cesspool.
As usual when you provide these snippets from your correspondence, I’m torn between being totally disgusted by the things some of my gender feel free to say to you or, on the other hand, a little jealous that no one sends me anything nearly as presumptuous!
Dan — I suppose when I stop getting these missives at some point, along with relief will come a vague feeling of disgruntlement. We are perverse creatures.
Do you think these people are serious? I can’t imagine anyone thinking that approach would actually result in a meeting or play.
Chibob — that is the question for the ages. I have no idea. I suppose some of them are, because they’re that clueless.
I saw this after I left my comment on your most recent post, but I think they’re kind of related in a way. These folks are essentially just more clumsy and obnoxious versions of folks who take offense at the most innocent things. These guys ARE perpetually offenSIVE (stupidly) and the others are perpetually offenDED (also stupidly). It’s like they are the opposite facing sides of the same, not-terribly-bright-and-shiny coin.
I have as much patience with one side as the other.
KD — interesting comparison. I dunno… I think I can handle and tolerate hypersensitive better than I can just plain fucking stupid. Because I am the former, myself, in many ways.
You are a wonderful human being and I love you. I hope you keep fighting forever. Your existence on this planet has been joyful enlightenment and inspiration