Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Contrary to popular belief…

… I do show restraint when it’s called for.

There is a big difference between some classless, clueless fuckwad getting in my face, and people who mean well but their words don’t come out quite right. In the latter case, I am measured and kind. I look at the intent rather than the actual verbiage.

I went to a spanko munch last week, which was a lot of fun. Everyone was friendly. It was a little weird for me, because they all knew each other and I felt like the odd one out, but they were welcoming. Then a very nice young woman asked me, “So Erica, what was the L.A. spanking scene like back in the day?”


I don’t know if I’d call twenty-five years ago “back in the day,” but I suppose when you’re thirty, that’s exactly what it is. I just said that back then, the people who ran Shadow Lane lived here and they had their finger on the pulse of all that was going on in the local spanking scene, so if you were connected to them, you had an in.

I resisted the urge to say that we all used to meet up in each other’s covered wagons. (sigh)

Last Friday, a woman wrote to me on FetLife. She said she loved my writings on Fet, and asked if I would like to join her group.

The name of the group? “Grandma Needs Love Too.” You know, for “mature” spankos.

Every fiber of my being was screaming, “Are you @#$%ing KIDDING me right now with that name??” But I kept that to myself. I wrote back, politely declined joining the group, but thanked her for the compliments on my writing.

And then this morning, another very nice young woman reached out to me, and during the correspondence, she said, “Full disclosure — I had no idea who you were.” Then she apologized and said she didn’t mean that as an insult.

I know she didn’t.

So I answered, “It’s okay. ‘Were’ is the operative word here.”

JFC. No chance of having an inflated ego in these parts.

In an attempt to find a silver lining (and no, I’m not talking about my freaking hair roots), I’m kinda grateful and relieved to be older now. I really, really, really wouldn’t want to be a woman of child-bearing age right now, not with SCOTUS and the GOP up in my uterus and demanding that I be a baby factory, or else. It was nice, enjoying the peak of my youth in a time where I had other choices besides “reproduce or keep your legs closed.”

Meanwhile… this ain’t yer grandma’s butt. :-Þ

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16 thoughts on “Contrary to popular belief…

  1. Tom Koenig on said:

    I have said this before you have theBUTT OF A 20-YEAR-OLD. Tom D. Koenig  303-305-9525


  2. Alright, I’m sorry to laugh, but those first two incidents were pretty damn funny.


  3. 0thistle0 on said:

    This one ain’t either!
    (I’d high-five you, but my arthritis is acting up and I’m afraid I’d drop my cane)


    • Dan — I know, I know. It’s okay. Laughing is good. Life is nothing if not absurd.

      Tash — (bumping your cane with my walker) — damn straight it isn’t, sister.


  4. Not too long ago, a man in mid-life (I guess) wanted to insult me (I think), and he yelled at me, “Watch out, old man!”

    I didn’t want to engage with him, but I considered replying, “I hope you become an old man, too.”

    Because, the alternative.


  5. Chibob on said:

    You and I are the same age, so I can commiserate with you. I’m not ready for my golden years yet.


  6. bklynny0856 on said:

    I remember when that cartoon originally appeared in Playboy!


  7. Paddle Daddy on said:

    I am the same age as you are “young” Lady , And that “covered wagon” comment would have gotten you taken to the wood shed for a good bare bottom spanking ! ;P lolol


  8. Rich — I would have wanted to go with the tried and true The Who line: “Hope you die before you get old, a#$hole.”

    Chibob — golden, shmolden. There is nothing golden about them.

    bklynny — I swear, any time anyone says anything about “granny porn” or something along those lines, that’s the image that comes to mind.

    PD — if I include myself in the insult, it doesn’t count.


  9. Hi Erica,

    “Grandma Needs Love Too” – UGH! I hate it when women are defined by who they have reproduced instead of who they actually are. I’m a step-grandmother, but wouldn’t dream of advertising myself as that.

    You have a butt that is ageless, and a heart to match.



  10. Nothing of any great wit to offer today, but your post did prompt the recollection of two movie scenes: the classic Chevalier tune in Gigi of “I’m glad I’m not young anymore” and the more recent but equally classic “40-Year-Old Virgin” exchange between Rogen and Carell on whether his new girlfriend was a grandmother. (“I’m not a doctor or anything…but she’s a grandma. ” and then concluding that though a Grandma, she ‘s a good-looking one. “My Grandma looks like Jack Palance.”)

    As for life-timing, I agree. Recent events across the board make me realize that while I thought the tumultuous 60’s were a wild ride, this is like a long slide down a razor!


  11. Hermione — thank you. ♥ Yeah, I have no desire to self-identify that way. Oh, and that MILF and cougar business can take a hike too.

    KD — “A long slide down a razor.” A long, slow slide. Yup. Pretty much. You know, whatever is going to take me out, I hope it’s quick. I really don’t want to die the death of a thousand cuts.


  12. merksmith on said:

    Just catching up on your blog Erica. I’m not sure why a but has to be of a certain age? Mine belongs to an older man but I think it is ok (and it certainly likes to be beaten). Yours however, is lovely!


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