Ladies, how do we feel about this?

I received this greeting yesterday:

Hi, submissive!

Excuse me? I have a name. I wrote back:

I am not submissive.

Then got this:

Ok. On some level, most, if not all, women are submissive.

Is that right? Where did he get that statistic? Out of his ass? Is he following The Handmaid’s Tale Handbook?

This is not meant to be any sort of put-down to women who are submissive. But to make that sort of generalization sounds like wishful thinking to me. What do y’all say?

By the way, I didn’t reply. This morning, he wrote again: Good morning erica

Okay, he used my name this time. But he lower-cased it, which is such a stupid Uber-Dom thing to do. Like I’m not worthy of a capital letter. Not answering that either.

(Leaving in two days! Can you tell I’m wound up??)

Pre-party jitters

Just a few more days. Leaving Friday morning for Vegas. And of course, one of the things I’m nervous about is that I haven’t played in months and I won’t be in any sort of condition to play multiple times over three days.

John, generous soul that he is, decided to fall on the sword and help out a bit. He’s been providing pre-party “warm-up” for the past two weekends. And despite my abject loathing for his solid Titan hairbrush, he insisted that some use of that piece of crap, er, helpful implement would be beneficial.

Urggh. Yeah. I still hate that thing. But perhaps I’m marginally more ready now.

Yeah, I know. Barely pink. This was in the beginning. But no marks. He promised.

I’m not too worried though. Considering that wood is a hard limit for me at parties, I won’t be encountering this level of nastiness. Bring on the leather, boys.

I do think making me kiss that @#$%ing thing afterward is a bit much…

Wow. Just… wow

You know, you’d think I would have learned by now not to engage with people who are clearly ignorant and biased. But I still see people posting crap that perpetuates the worst of the clichés about our scene, and it makes me nuts. Where does this level of hate come from?

Yesterday on FetLife, Spanking Tube was being discussed (a man was considering posting his first video there), and a woman I do not know posted this:

[Spanking Tube] is built for those models who are not really into spanking and just into profit.
If you are looking for social status it will not happen because they all stick together and you’d be an outcast.
If you want to enroll with them then you have to do the porn industry stage, fake story, script thing that they are.

If you ever went to one of those annual parties you’d see it immediately it’s like they set up these fake school classroom settings for spanking then you go there and you are sitting with a bunch of people in class watching the famous spank each other like you are groupies.
Half of those dirty old men are pushing fentanyl and meth to the girls and driving them around in vans all day to perform (which is identical to porn).

Wow. What an indictment. I felt compelled to be a more measured voice here, so I answered her. No, I didn’t blast her. I was quite reasonable, as you can see.

Yes, there is that side of the video industry of which you speak. But that’s not the whole of it.
Plenty of people made videos because they love spanking and it brings them joy to do so. The producers and performers make money, yes. It’s their livelihood. But I don’t know anyone who ever did this purely for the money. The people I have known who did videos were spankos to the core.
Including me.

She then answered:

It’s a really big side though. A side that has taken over 90% of this network. social status and celebrity and competition takes the intimacy away. I just prefer everyone with the Jillian attitude.

Jillian? I could only assume she meant Jillian Keenan. Okay, so we had a bit of common ground. I thought maybe I could reason with her. I mean, come on. Ninety percent?? Where on earth was she getting this?

This was my next reply:

I feel compelled to speak up for many of the people I worked with over the years. There is a well-worn cliché about how we’re all stuck up and clique-y and we ruin things for everyone else. I hate to see that perpetuated. I’m not saying some of that element doesn’t exist. I’m saying 90% is unduly harsh. We do agree on this, however — I have all the admiration for Jillian and I’m one of her Patreon supporters. She is a brave and strong voice for us. And hey, I’ve done videos and I go to parties, but she likes me anyway, for whatever reason. 😉

I figured that last part would lighten things up a bit. I was mistaken. She then came back with this:

@Erica_Scott I went to one of those kingpin annual parties once and from experience I have a story of what goes on over there that is beyond shockingly different than a cliche. And some of those people involved are 200+ video famous and there were A LOT.
One day I’m going to tell that story here without names and it sure be an excellent reminder of the many of others who were trapped in the exact same cliche environment as I was. 90% is a pretty fair number. Bad people…. everywhere.

And I find it extremely hard to believe you never noticed and I find it extremely surprising the cops don’t ever rush in and arrest 50 at a time. but we’ll leave this story alone for a bit because I’m busy this month.

Jeeeezus. Hostile, much? And she was starting to get incoherent, so I gave up.

You know what bothers me the most? Clearly, she had a lousy experience at a spanking party, and that sucks. But why? I don’t know which one, and I don’t know any details. Just her raving about video people and how horrible we all are. And there was no swaying any of it, even with a measured and humorous approach. If you can’t discuss your feelings and experiences without hurling ad hominem attacks, then I can’t help you.

You know, I’ve seen this kind of shit for years. I even wrote this post about it nearly ten years ago. But it still hits me in the gut. Am I saying none of this kind of thing exists? Of course not. I’m not stupid and I’m not naive. But to paint everyone who is in this industry with the same broad paintbrush is appalling. And to spread this sort of thing to newcomers and people who are just getting up the courage to try their own first party and so forth is so freaking detrimental.

I’m not even in the damn industry anymore. But I still hate this. And I will still, while I have breath, fight the stereotypes and the mean-spiritedness. Yes. The scene is a double-edged sword. Always has been. It can bring the greatest of joys, and it can break your heart to smithereens. I have experienced both ends of the spectrum and everything in between. But it changed my life. It brought me things I’d never had before. Including all of you. And I will never lose sight of that.

Meanwhile… next time I try to reason with the unreasonable, y’all know what to do. rolling eyes

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 8/19

It’s been a while, but I’ve been busy collecting these. The freaks have come out in droves lately, it seems. So happy Friday, and here’s a whole new batch of treats guaranteed to make you lose your lunch.

I’ll start with this one, since I just received it this morning:

Hello sub Erica.. pretty submissive..When did you last serve?

Serve what? Coffee? Petits fours and tea?

I would not only spank your bottom but pinch your tits at the same time

You would, huh? Try it and then gawk in horror at the stumps left of your fingers.

LOVE your red ass! best thing about you it seems! Dont tell me im too young to have my turn at it one day

All right, I won’t tell you that you’re too young. You’re too stupid. And WHADDAYA MEAN, my ass is the best thing about me? What about my trachea? And I’ve been told I have a damn splendid uvula as well.

But wait, then he adds this:

MMMMMMM I want that ass perched high ready for abuse………YES

OK, Junior, now you’re getting tedious. Bye bye.

Hi, good morning! I want to submit you and tame and enslave you. Do you have a video cam to serve your master?. Think about it and then tell me yes it is your destiny to be mine and to belong to me. Think about it better a virtual master that fills you with attention and makes you feel the joy of experiencing true submission, rather than staying for a long time in the showcase in the Alt cow market. If you are not looking for an improvement in your economic situation in submission or slavery and you really have a submissive soul that dreams of the collar, please consider my proposal

Yeah, I know, this is a form letter. But do these guys even bother to give the profiles a cursory glance before they send this crap out en masse? rolling eyes

You lost me when you said your not a yes sir no sir lol

And you lost me when you misused “you’re.” Why do these idiots tack LOL on? Are they really sitting there laughing out loud at how incredibly clever they are?

Here is this installment’s instance of “WTF was he trying to say?”

I would love to spank that ass years

Any guesses? For years, perhaps? Or “that ass of yours“?

Wish I was close by. I so much into spanking. Doing it makes me nut in my pants

Yeah. If you’re getting the same visual I am, this is about time your lunch starts coming up.

Swollen red freshly spanked. Mmm I’d eat your pussy and ass like crazy

You’re crazy if you think I’d let you.

I want that ass available to me always

And I want my 30-year-old skin. That’s not happening either.

Finally…

Hey- what kinds of domination turns you on? humiliation ? ..Does your pussy get slick and dripping wet as you are being spanked and used by a strong hand and a thick hard cock? .. your pussy juices running down your hot ass and between those nice long legs as you are punished and made to submit ? 

Well, since you asked… No. No. NO. Scram. As Groucho Marx once said, “Go, and never darken my towels again.”

In other news, two weeks and counting till Party Time. I think the nerves are starting to set in. On Saturday night, they are having a fancy ballroom dinner/dance, with a “Red Carpet” photographer. People are encouraged to realllly dress up. In my closet collecting dust is a very snazzy LBD that I’ve worn only once, and that was to one of our rare excursions to a dungeon party, so no one in my scene has seen it. I pulled it out and tried it on — yes, that’s the dress. However, I might have to enlist the help of a gal pal or two, to yank me out of my hotel room on Saturday night in case I lose my nerve.

For now, must focus. Work to do. An apartment that won’t clean itself. Remain calm so I don’t go into the party weekend with any goddamn hives. Zen… vagus nerve breath… whewwwwww. Have a great weekend. y’all. Be safe. ♥

Reader Participation — Come Play Along!

Yesterday on Twitter, a fellow spanko posed this question: “How many spankos does it take to change a light bulb?” A handful of people participated, but I wanted to put it out there to the spankosphere. So, with her blessing, I’m asking my readers, and encouraging your feedback. Use your creative muse and give me your funniest answer. And please do post it here in the comments so everyone can see!

Here was mine, in a slightly longer version since I don’t have Twitter character limits.

How many spankos does it take to change a light bulb? Three.

Top: The light burned out. Go change the bulb.
Bottom: No. You do it.
Top: I asked you to do it.
Bottom: You didn’t ask, and no, I don’t feel like it.
Top: Young lady…
Bottom: Change it yourself!
Third spanko: Oh, for fuck’s sake, you two, it’s dark! (changes light bulb)

Your turn! Have a great weekend, y’all. ♥

Okay, this is SO wrong

We all have our bodily reactions to excess stress, yes? Especially these days. Some people get migraines. Some people get muscle spasms.

I get hives. Combination of stress and heat, so I get them in summer.

Not badly, and not a whole lot of them. Just random itchy blotches. They don’t blister, they don’t scab, they just rise, get progressively redder, and then after a couple of days of Calamine lotion and Zyrtec, they recede. But while they are here, they itch like a son of a bitch.

Most often, I get them on my lower legs.

Guess where I got a couple of them this time?

Yup.

So unfair! This is not the kind of discomfort I want on my butt, goddammit!

I guess there are worse kinds of butt itch. Perhaps I should count my blessings. *grumble*