Correspondence Hall of Shame, 8/19

It’s been a while, but I’ve been busy collecting these. The freaks have come out in droves lately, it seems. So happy Friday, and here’s a whole new batch of treats guaranteed to make you lose your lunch.

I’ll start with this one, since I just received it this morning:

Hello sub Erica.. pretty submissive..When did you last serve?

Serve what? Coffee? Petits fours and tea?

I would not only spank your bottom but pinch your tits at the same time

You would, huh? Try it and then gawk in horror at the stumps left of your fingers.

LOVE your red ass! best thing about you it seems! Dont tell me im too young to have my turn at it one day

All right, I won’t tell you that you’re too young. You’re too stupid. And WHADDAYA MEAN, my ass is the best thing about me? What about my trachea? And I’ve been told I have a damn splendid uvula as well.

But wait, then he adds this:

MMMMMMM I want that ass perched high ready for abuse………YES

OK, Junior, now you’re getting tedious. Bye bye.

Hi, good morning! I want to submit you and tame and enslave you. Do you have a video cam to serve your master?. Think about it and then tell me yes it is your destiny to be mine and to belong to me. Think about it better a virtual master that fills you with attention and makes you feel the joy of experiencing true submission, rather than staying for a long time in the showcase in the Alt cow market. If you are not looking for an improvement in your economic situation in submission or slavery and you really have a submissive soul that dreams of the collar, please consider my proposal

Yeah, I know, this is a form letter. But do these guys even bother to give the profiles a cursory glance before they send this crap out en masse? rolling eyes

You lost me when you said your not a yes sir no sir lol

And you lost me when you misused “you’re.” Why do these idiots tack LOL on? Are they really sitting there laughing out loud at how incredibly clever they are?

Here is this installment’s instance of “WTF was he trying to say?”

I would love to spank that ass years

Any guesses? For years, perhaps? Or “that ass of yours“?

Wish I was close by. I so much into spanking. Doing it makes me nut in my pants

Yeah. If you’re getting the same visual I am, this is about time your lunch starts coming up.

Swollen red freshly spanked. Mmm I’d eat your pussy and ass like crazy

You’re crazy if you think I’d let you.

I want that ass available to me always

And I want my 30-year-old skin. That’s not happening either.

Finally…

Hey- what kinds of domination turns you on? humiliation ? ..Does your pussy get slick and dripping wet as you are being spanked and used by a strong hand and a thick hard cock? .. your pussy juices running down your hot ass and between those nice long legs as you are punished and made to submit ? 

Well, since you asked… No. No. NO. Scram. As Groucho Marx once said, “Go, and never darken my towels again.”

In other news, two weeks and counting till Party Time. I think the nerves are starting to set in. On Saturday night, they are having a fancy ballroom dinner/dance, with a “Red Carpet” photographer. People are encouraged to realllly dress up. In my closet collecting dust is a very snazzy LBD that I’ve worn only once, and that was to one of our rare excursions to a dungeon party, so no one in my scene has seen it. I pulled it out and tried it on — yes, that’s the dress. However, I might have to enlist the help of a gal pal or two, to yank me out of my hotel room on Saturday night in case I lose my nerve.

For now, must focus. Work to do. An apartment that won’t clean itself. Remain calm so I don’t go into the party weekend with any goddamn hives. Zen… vagus nerve breath… whewwwwww. Have a great weekend. y’all. Be safe. ♥

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