Yes, I’m still seeing my Uber-bossy chiropractor. When I saw him a few weeks ago, I was in the throes of my cold and my body was a mess of knots. Everything he touched hurt. So when I went in last Monday for a tune-up, he asked how I was doing. “Much better than last time,” I replied.
“OK, so just a mild beating today, as opposed to the extreme beating.”
I think I’ve mentioned how he has a penchant for putting me in various positions and then commanding, “Don’t you move.” Which drives me crazy. So this last time, I challenged a bit. “You do realize that every time you say ‘don’t you move,’ that makes me want to move, right?”
“Yes, absolutely, because you can’t stand anyone else being in charge.” How does he know?
“Well, it’s just that when someone says ‘don’t you’ do something, that implies that there is a consequence for doing that thing,” I persisted.
“Nope, none at all,” he said cheerfully. While digging his fingers into my left hip and practically making me writhe off the table. “Oooh, yes, hello, that sucks, doesn’t it?”
“Sadistic bastard,” I grumbled. Oh, this guy would be such a formidable top.
“Far be it from me to actually try to tell you to do something,” he went on. And then, for the rest of the appointment, he made a point of politely asking me for everything. “Please roll onto your back.” “Please, may I stretch you now?” “Please hold that position.” “Please allow me to lift you to sitting.” And finally, when he put me on the rolling massage table with ice, he said, “Relax. Or don’t, if you don’t want to! Whatever you want.”
He still refers to me as “little girl” and “tiny person.” I don’t get it; I’m really not that tiny. Although I suppose it’s all relative, since he’s 6′ 3″+ and built like a linebacker.
All titillation aside, I really am glad I found this guy. He doesn’t BS me and tell me there’s a million things wrong with me and that I have to come back every week. As he put it: “I don’t want to see you that often.” Thanks, I love you too. And since I’ve been seeing him, the sciatica that had been plaguing me, shooting down my left leg into my foot, has cleared up. OK, so it’s his elbow on my butt, not his hand. Such is life.
Moving right along — today is the wonderful, talented Dave Wolfe’s birthday! AKA Wolfie, of WolfieToons, Dave has created countless delightful spanking toons over the years, and has made countless people smile and laugh. Besides being a great artist, he’s also one of the sweetest men ever. We have never met in person, but have corresponded online for many a year. He’s compassionate, caring, witty, and an incorrigible punster (do not incorrige him!). I have been lucky enough to be immortalized, Wolfie-style, as he has created several toons for my various birthdays. But since it’s his birthday, not mine, I’ll post one of my favorite non-birthday creations (and interestingly, it’s non-spanking too). Dave knows I am a bit of an oddball and derive the same joy from rainy days as most people do from sunny ones. So here is his image of me dancing in the rain.
Do check out his blog, and his immense catalog of drawings, if you haven’t already. Happy birthday, Wolfie! We love you! ♥ ♥ ♥
And happy hump day, y’all.