Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Archive for the category “comments”

How to ruin a compliment

I guess this could be sort of a mini-Correspondence Hall of Shame; it’s just one entry. It started out nice, though. Last week on Curious Cat, an anonymous poster, instead of posing a question as per usual, wrote a comment to me along the lines of how I talk about my age a lot, but I look great. That they watched Naughty Secretaries 2 — I was hot then, and hot now. (That was shot twenty years ago, BTW.) I was pleased with this and thanked them sincerely.

Until another anonymous person chimed in with this:

Erica’s bottom is tempting, in spite of her age.

Really? Really?? 😛

This could have been nice too. They could have changed “in spite of” to “no matter what,” and I would have thanked them sincerely as well.

Or they could have simply posted the first four words and left the rest off. But nooooo.

Therefore, instead of a thank you, that poster gets this:


Yeah, you tell ’em, Tony. Many thanks to my dear buddy Dave Wolfe  for sending me this picture, along with a note about how I “might find it handy.” How well he knows me.

I feel like I should say something here, since some people are asking me. Regarding all the fires burning in California right now, both Northern and Southern, I am safe. I do not live in a fire area, for which I am grateful every minute. The air quality is crappy and the sky is hazy-ish, but I am not in any danger. John, however, does live in a fire-prone canyon area. And with a freaking fire erupting every damn day, I am terrified his area will be next. Talk about feeling powerless.

And it’s exceptionally maddening, knowing that if my state were to completely burn to ashes and fall off the map, the only thing the Day-Glo orange dumbass dotard in chief would say about it is, “Too bad! They should have raked their forests more!” I’d like to rake his forest.

So, between bouts of anxiety and bouts of tears, it has not been a good week. I’m so tired.

Tired of bad news all the fucking time with no end in sight.

Tired of let-downs and disappointments.

Tired of crying.

Despite my desire to stay holed up in my apartment, I am going to pack up my things and head for John’s as per usual, in hopes of a relaxing and distracting weekend. I’d say we’re both due for a weekend where things go smoothly, after last weekend. Because if one more unexpected bad thing happens, I think I’m going to go stark raving slobbering mad.

But hey, I’m still grateful for my apartment. And grateful for work. I’ll end on that.

Have a good weekend, y’all. Don’t forget to set your clocks back if it applies to you.

Some things never change

No matter how many years you spend in TTWD, no matter how many experiences you have, how many things you try, how carefully you hone your own personal interpretation of your chosen kink to where it is fulfilling and joyous… there’s always going to be some nitwit out there telling you you’re doing it wrong.

A few years ago when I was playing regularly with He-Who-Is-No-Longer-In-The-Picture, we used to shoot a lot of goofy videos of our play, some of which I posted on Spanking Tube. One especially popular one was when I’d written a spanking parody of the Beatles song “If I Fell,” and he made me sing it on video — while being spanked.

I still get occasional comments on that one, positive ones saying that it was funny and entertaining. And then yesterday I got this — verbatim, poor grammar and missing punctuation intact:

A spanking not supposed to be fun its supposed to make her correct her bad behavior

Oh, yeah? Says you, illiterate one. Although you’re probably right in one respect: I doubt that spanking or any other kind of kink play is fun when you’re involved.

Who the hell are you, or anyone else, to say what spanking is “supposed” to be? Who are you to deny the unbridled joy that some of us feel indulging in a favorite pastime and fulfilling our desires? Spanking — and all other forms of kink/BDSM/what have you — means myriad things to countless people. There is no “supposed to.” There is no “one true way.” And to impose your rigid (and unsolicited) view and dump on someone else’s pleasure is most unwelcome.

Just a reminder, to anyone out there reading who is new to all this: Don’t let others tell you how you’re supposed to do this thing. Discover for yourself, through trial and error, through following your instincts, what works for you. If it’s discipline, great. If it’s for fun, that’s also great. If it’s a complex mix of the two, have at it. What pushes your buttons and brings you floaty joy, as long as it involves consenting adults, is what it’s supposed to be.

Tell you what, stupid stranger. I’ll go on doing my thing the way I like doing it; if that’s “bad behavior,” oh, well. Report me to the kink police, why don’t you. Or better yet, why don’t you work on correcting your bad grammar and mind your own fucking business, hmmm?

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Monday. Today, it is cold, dark and rainy outside. I have my heater running, warm clothes on, a full fridge, classical music serenely playing in the background, and plenty of work to keep me busy. I don’t have to go anywhere; I can work out in the apartment gym if I want to. I am safe and insulated and at peace in my little bubble.

I know the rain will end, outside life will encroach, and I will need to leave my bubble and re-enter a world that feels ugly and unkind to me. But for this moment, I wish I could stay in here forever.

And so it goes

Hello, everyone. Sorry for the absence.

After much thought, going back and forth, changing my mind and then back again, I have decided it’s time to bring this blog to an end.

I have been in the spanking scene for twenty-one years this month, and online for nineteen. I have watched many changes in what became known as social media. In the early days for spanking chat and exploration, there were what was known as newsgroups, and various chat rooms. Often the latter devolved into a bunch of silly cyber spanking, but one could find intelligent conversation if one looked carefully. Then, around 2000, give or take a year, those gave way to chat forums, such as those on MSN and Yahoo, the old Shadow Lane chat board, etc. People posted and chatted and shared and connected. I co-managed a successful forum for a few years and had a blast.

When the forums began to run their course, they were overtaken by a new phenomenon: the spanking blog. Soon, everyone and their second cousin twice removed was blogging. I joined this bandwagon in 2005, on what used to be the hopping place (!): MySpace. My blog there straggled along for a while, trying to find its audience, but there was so much competition. But then two things happened. One, I was listed by our blog queen, Bonnie, who made a point of spotlighting new blogs in her “In With the New” column. Things really picked up for me after that, but I still had a second holy grail to achieve. The buzz in the blogosphere was about a gentleman who went by the name of Chross, who had a weekly list of what he considered the most notable blog posts. If one was lucky enough to be “Chrossed,” they would be treated to a highly gratifying spike in blog hits. But how did one get on Chross’s radar, I wondered? I finally grew so frustrated that I wrote a post called “Who Do I Have to @#$% to Get on Chross’s List?” Apparently, that got his attention. 🙂

After that, wow. Views, comments, etc. skyrocketed. Until MySpace died, and I took the plunge and started a new blog on Blogger in 2010. I flourished there for years, getting Chrossed often, sharing adventures and party stories and photos and scenes and video shoots, as well as bits and pieces of my personal life. When Blogger threatened to censor or shut down all their “adult” blogs, I migrated to WordPress. Turns out it wasn’t necessary, since Blogger backed off, but I don’t regret it.

However, things changed yet again. Slowly but surely, the spanking blog was overtaken by the Tumblr blogs: pictures. Lots and lots and lots of pictures. The lengthy blog entry morphed into quickie sound bites, gifs and jpegs. Comments became likes and reposts. The spanking models, who all used to blog, now opened Tumblr accounts. Twitter came to be, and now, instead of writing party and shoot reports, people tweeted the action as it was happening. There were some exceptions who maintained their popularity (Hermione and Ronnie come to mind, as well as some of the DD/Hoh blogs and some author blogs) but it seemed that overall, the traditional written spanking blog had gone the way of the VCR and the variety show.

Even so, I figured as long as I had stories to tell, experiences to share, connections to make, I’d have an audience. For quite a while, my views remained high thanks to being Chrossed often. But now, it seems even our beloved Chross has given up the ghost. And the annual Spanking Blogg Awards, put together by John Osborne of Triple A, finally eliminated the Best Creative Blogger category last year because it wasn’t getting any nominations. I was lucky enough to win second place in 2015, that award’s final year.


After many years and thousand of words, kids, I’m fresh out of things to say. On topic, anyway. I don’t want to hash and rehash the same discussions; there’s FetLife for that. Scene-wise, things have changed for me. I no longer have a top, and I haven’t played since 50 Freaks in February. I go to two parties a year. I do not shoot anymore, and even if someone were to offer it up, I’m not sure I would do it. I don’t enjoy looking at myself on film anymore — those HD cameras are not kind! And as for my personal life, I have been dealing with a great deal of grief and challenges over the past few months, including an ongoing situation with John that is stressful and scary. But you know, I don’t want to go into that on here anymore either. I have ranted, raved, wept, opened up and laid myself bare (physically and emotionally) in these posts over the years. I think it’s time for that to end. Everyone has problems; they don’t want to hear mine. And if I can’t post on-topic fun stuff, there’s really no point in continuing.

Also, I made the mistake, in a time of weakness, of writing political posts on here. Please. Can we all agree that there’s enough of that shit out there everywhere you look? I mean, really — using a spanking blog, of all things, to push one’s political agenda is arrogant, self-serving and a big waste of time, don’t you think? So I do apologize for that bit of foolishness.

I am not taking this blog down. I want to preserve it, because I’m proud of it. I would like people to be able to refer back to it, reread posts they liked, enjoy the pictures, etc. My life, my heart and my soul are in these pages. So it will remain intact, even though I won’t be adding to it any longer. I will always be grateful for my readers, all the comments, all the feedback. Without you guys, we writers might as well be talking to ourselves. And hey, I even appreciate those hapless dumbasses who gave me so much wonderful CHoS fodder. One more for the road? Sure, why not…

Hi I would like to spanking you hardly but it is turning me on and in the end which will be not short time I would like to have sex or atleast blowjob becouse I don’t want go away horny and I don’t want jerkoffing if you are okay with that or you have some other way to make e come and relax after when I spanking you hard and long tell me

(sigh) Some things never change, I guess. I suggest you come the way you always do — in your mama’s basement in front of your sticky keyboard. And for the last time, fuck off.

I don’t get as much of this nonsense nowadays, but I still see it. Recently, Alex got a critique on her Tumblr that she is neglecting to post pictures of her anus. She’s nicer than I am: I would have replied that if this person wants to see an asshole, they should look in a mirror.

Some of you have my antiquated (but still functional) AOL address. My gmail address is at the end of the About Me section here. I’m still out there, on Facebook, Twitter and FetLife. I have always welcomed polite and civil correspondence (and no, you do not have to agree with me, just don’t be a dick about it), and that will not change.

So what should be my last gasp? Perhaps I’ll just say screw it and reveal all… my real name, my family, the TV shows they worked on…

wait for it…



Come on, you didn’t really think I’d tell all that, did ya? Besides, I wanted to go out on a Big Bang. 😛

And so this hard-edged, tender-hearted, snarky spanko bids you farewell, in this venue at least. Have a great life, y’all. ♥ ♥ ♥  Thank you for reading.

Where was I…

…oh, yeah. Having a really boring week. The only fun and exciting thing that happened this past week is fully vanilla and involves my family in a roundabout way, so I am not going to discuss it here. No Steve, due to him having his kids with him for spring break. So, rather than contrive something or another just for the sake of posting, I kept quiet. However, now I have something to say.

A couple of years ago, Alex Reynolds posted a brilliant piece about commenting on kinky photos. It’s worth a read, or a reread. After an experience I had this week, I’d like to add another point to it, if I may.

I’m going to state this up front, so I don’t get a bunch of defensive heat. I realize a lot of commenters mean well. Not all inappropriate comments come from dicks and wankers. In the following instance, I know that no one meant anything bad. This is merely a reminder to think very carefully about what you post to someone’s photo. Sometimes, even the most well-meaning remarks will come off as a critique.

I was feeling crappy last week, I admit it. It was yet another Steve-less week, I didn’t have anything interesting or fun to say, I felt lonely and frustrated. I wanted attention. Which is a recipe for trouble, because every time I deliberately seek attention, I end up getting the kind I don’t want.

It’s no secret that I have no compunction about posting pictures of my butt. Once in a while, I will post a naked picture. But overall, I’m self-conscious about showing my breasts. Not sure why, I just am. So I keep that to a minimum. Last Tuesday, on a whim, I took a few pictures in the bathroom after a shower. In one of them, I was looking intently into the camera, not smiling, and I thought the effect was kinda sexy/sultry. Plus I had my arms up, so my boobs looked perky and pretty. I messed around with the exposure, created a kind of arty effect, and I was actually quite pleased with the result. So I posted it on FetLife. Something different, I thought.

I got some “Loves” and a few nice comments. Then three different people expressed their thoughts… about my face. Apparently, I should have smiled.


A woman puts herself out there, bares her breasts, and you critique her facial expression??

The first comment didn’t bother me. The second one gave me pause. By the time the third one was posted, I was in tears. And completely down on myself.

“Yeah, Erica, see? This is what happens when you go attention-seeking. Give it up. Your day is over. You show your boobs and no one even looks — they just see your imperfect facial expression. You’re too damned old to pull off the sultry look. You just look tired and pissed off.” Yes, this is where my mind goes.

It didn’t help that at the same time, a lovely young woman, a friend of mine, posted a vanilla shot of her face. She looked beautiful… and she too was not smiling. She got several comments, all positive. Not one person said that she should smile.

Suddenly, the picture I had liked looked bad to me. My face looked angry and/or sad, not sexy. I felt foolish. And I took the photo down.

Yes, I’m hypersensitive. Yes, I probably overreacted. But come on. Again, and again and again and again, the point is: If you see a picture and want to say something nice, go right ahead. But if you don’t have something positive or uplifting or complimentary to say, then please don’t say anything. Just move on, and find a picture you do like. And when a woman makes herself vulnerable to you, takes a step out of her comfort zone, don’t tread on her ego. You have no idea how much your words can affect another person.

I’m embarrassed to admit how many tears I shed over this. I shared the photo with a couple of trusted friends who told me I shouldn’t pay attention to what anyone says, that I looked great and I should post for myself, not others. One friend commented that telling a woman she should smile is sexist. I don’t know if I necessarily agree with that, but he has a point. I mean, I don’t recall anyone ever commenting on a man’s picture that he’d look better if he smiled. Especially if he’s baring his chest at the time. Another person said I should put the picture back up. But I will not.

So, kids, that’s where I’m at this week. Hopefully next week will be better. I will see Steve again, get my head screwed back on straight, and life goes on. Meanwhile, I’m going to go hang out with the man who always thinks I’m beautiful and sexy. ♥

Have a great weekend, y’all.

Wow! :-)

This blog is four months old, and today, I broke 100,000 page views! Special thanks and big cyber-hugs to Chross and his Spankings of the Week listings, which have no doubt sent 1,000s of those hits my way. I love how my views spike sharply upward on the Fridays when I get Chrossed! 🙂

I have a query for my readers. I have my regular commenters (and I love you guys), and some periodic commenters. However, a whole lot of you never do, and I know it’s due in part to the fact that I turned off the Anonymous comments option. I get emails and messages from people saying, “Hey, couldn’t comment on the blog, but wanted you to know that I really liked…” etc.

Two weeks after I came to Blogger, some asshat took exception to one of my topics (and some of the comments on it) and went on a spree, insulting my readers with a barrage of his own nasty remarks. I erased and erased, but he kept reposting. I even directly pleaded with him to stop, but he would not. Finally, I had no choice but to turn off the Anonymous option, since Blogger doesn’t allow one to block individuals. I have always endeavored to make my blog open and have people feel safe in joining in and making it interactive, and I wasn’t about to let one malcontent ruin that.

Now, I’m toying with the idea of turning that option back on. If I do, I would have to be more vigilant. I might turn on Moderate Comments on the weekends. And I would have to ask all of you to help me out — if someone were to hurl an anonymous potshot, they must be ignored. No replies, no acknowledgment, no engaging with them. I will delete their comments as soon as I see them.

What do you guys think? Do blogs feel more open and friendly when anyone can comment? Should I try allowing the anonymous comments again?

If you can’t comment with your opinion, shoot me an email. 😀

Meanwhile, thank you for reading! You guys make me sooooooo happy when I see all the hits.

Of course I sit at my computer dressed like this. Doesn’t everyone?

(Yeah, I know I’ve posted this shot before. But it fit so well into this topic!)

Have a great weekend, y’all.

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