Ode to our stress relievers (AKA spankers)

OK, without going into an abundance of detail, let’s just say this past weekend sucked eggs. Saturday was a whole lot of stress and aggravation and heat and traffic, culminating in a horrible fight between John and me. In the car, on the freeway. Fortunately, I’m sane enough to keep my head while behind the wheel and I didn’t crash us into a divider (or another car). But it was highly unpleasant. Many apologies (both of ours) and a million tears (mine) later, we are OK. But it left me feeling shell-shocked, fatigued and tense. I hate fighting. I hate confrontation. And I go into emotional overload.

So I was more than ready for ST today, and guess what? He was more than willing to help me with my stress problem. Whatta guy, huh? So, to the tune of the Rolling Stones’ “Mother’s Little Helper” (embedded below), I have penned “Stress Releasing Helper.”

What a drag it is, being stressed

Life is oh-so-hard today,
I hear every bottom say,
Baby needs something today to calm her down
And though she’s not really ill
When she’s acting like a pill
She goes running for the shelter
Of her Stress Releasing Helper
And he puts her OTK
Spanks her till she feels okay

Feeling like a shrew today
I hear every bottom say,
She just can’t stop acting out, it’s such a drag
So she eats a frozen cake
Till she gets a stomach ache
And goes running for the shelter
Of her Stress Releasing Helper
And he knows just what to do
Spanks her bottom black and blue

Spanker please, lots more of these,
I’m still not sane, I need more pain!
What a drag it is, being stressed

Jobs are such a bitch today,
I hear every bottom say,
Bosses think you’re there to work, how fucked is that?
Now they want her to stay late,
She says “NO, I’ve got a date!”
And goes running for the shelter
Of her Stress Releasing Helper
She forgets about the rut
While he’s whaling on her butt

Spanker please, I’m o’er your knees
I’m full of steam, please make me scream!
What a drag it is, being stressed

Life will piss you off today
I hear every bottom say
Plain vanilla every day is just a bore
It’s a spanking that she’ll need
Not the pills and not the weed
She goes running for the shelter
Of her Stress Releasing Helper
He will spank her backside bright
And she’ll sleep in peace tonight

Feeling so much better. Thank you, darlin’. You’re so much better than any drug (cuter, too). 🙂

My "sweet 16" celebration

Yeah, yeah. Chronologically, I’m a whole lot older than 16. But today, in spanko years, I am 16. On Memorial Day 1996, a handsome, dominant man came into my apartment and introduced me to spanking, and my world was never the same again.

I wanted to forget about all the stress and heartache and just have fun. I fleetingly thought about buying some champagne, but ran out of time. On Friday, we’d had a brief power outage, not much longer than an hour. When it came back on, one of my cable boxes had blown out. So today, the cable guy was coming over between 3 and 5. Fortunately, he was here by 3:40 and out of here by 4:05. So I had plenty enough time to get ready for ST, but not enough to nip back out to get champagne. Oh well.

When he showed up bearing his toy bag as usual, I thought nothing of it. Until he sat on my couch, unzipped it and pulled out a greeting card. I was so tickled! It was a “blank inside” card with SWEET! written on the front, and he’d filled in a “Happy Sweet 16” message inside. That alone would have delighted me, but then he reached into his bag again, and pulled out… you guessed it. A bottle of ice-cold champagne. 😀  How wonderful is this man!!

I practically danced into the kitchen, getting the glasses while he opened it. We decided that we’d have one glass now, and then another after playing. And then HE decided we were going to combine some of my implements with his to total 16, and he’d give me 16 swats with each one. Of course, his hand wouldn’t count.

I had barely eaten anything all day — I don’t usually like to eat before scenes, so my stomach was empty. And that first glass of champagne slammed into me, full force. Delightfully so. It wasn’t more than a few minutes before I was giggling and talking funny and acting like a, well, a 16-year-old.

I know the spanking with 16 implements + hand must have hurt. But damned if I remember any of it.

I do recall that I obliterated another cane…

OK, so maybe it did hurt a little.

But hey! It was time for more champagne!

Uh oh! My glass foameth over!

We got a bit rambunctious in the kitchen, with ST determined to find every single pervertable I had in my kitchen drawers. I took smacks from wooden spoons, spatulas, a frosting spreader, a frying pan he plucked out of the dish drainer, a pair of chopsticks, a cake slicer (NOT serrated, no worries). And of course, one of my spoons bit the dust.

That second glass took me from tipsy to slightly woozy (yes, really — that’s all it takes with me), so I drank about 2/3 of it and then lay on the couch with my head in ST’s lap. I felt blissfully content, singing along with the iTunes radio playing on my computer, and we stayed there for a long time, chatting and relaxing. My head cleared, and when I told him the effects had worn off, he took that as a green light for us to play again. No complaints here! ST seemed unaffected by the champagne; I guess it’s a guy thing (they’re bigger and they can absorb more??). I’ve never seen John so much as tipsy either.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, after Round #3, I finished that second glass of champagne.

So… 16 years of spanking. Millions of swats, maybe? Well, thousands, anyway. What was the difference between Memorial Day 1996 and Memorial Day 2012?

Hmmm… well, in 1996, I marked like crazy. In 1996, it was just his hand, not 16 implements plus a drawerful of kitchen utensils. In 1996, I was a clean canvas, feeling myriad new emotions and sensations, and certain that I’d fallen in love with my spanker.

But in truth, I barely knew him. I never even found out his last name. I didn’t know where he lived. He did incredible things to me and I’ll always be grateful to him, but he was a stranger nonetheless. And what I fell in love with was what he gave me.

So I suppose that’s the biggest difference, between 1996 and 2012. Today, it wasn’t a stranger. Today, it was the bestest top ever, and — even better — a great friend. And this man, I love to bits. ♥

My chronological 16th birthday sucked, as I recall. But this 16th was indeed sweet. I’m going to treat myself to some chocolate and a few episodes of Dark Shadows, and then slip off to sleep.

Hope everyone had a good three-day weekend.

Next time, look under the bed, dumbass

Last time ST was here, we played in the bedroom and he had me get the Cane-iac Spanking Buddy out of my vanity drawer. Even though I had given it to him as a gift, he likes me to keep it here. So after he left, I looked on the bed and on the floor, but couldn’t find it. I figured he’d accidentally picked it up with all his other toys and put it in his bag.

Tonight when we were ready to play, I mentioned that he might have the SB in his bag, because I thought he took it by accident. He rummaged through everything — “Nope, I don’t have it.” Hmmmm… Oh, wait! Maybe it had traveled under the bed somehow (no, I didn’t put it there).

Off I went to the bedroom to look, and sure enough, it was way under the bed. You wouldn’t believe the noise I got from ST when I came back.

“Aha! You had it all along, and you accused me of stealing it!”

“I did not!” I protested. “I said you might have taken it by accident!”

“You were still blaming me, and all the while it was just your lousy housekeeping!”

I beg your pardon??

“You really shouldn’t accuse me of stealing,” he scolded, pulling me OTK.

“Dammit! There was nothing accusatory about what I said!” I hollered.

“Yeah, well, I’m about to get abuse-atory on your bottom.” (groan) Oh, clever man.

We were both chatty at first, him blathering some nonsense about “poor Erica” and how I get blamed for doing things I didn’t do, because I’m a perfect angel all the time. (Well, at least he’s finally seeing that.) He said we should shoot a series caled “Poor Erica,” and with each installment, I’d get some sort of unfair punishment. Sounds like Monday nights to me! (snort)

“So what scenarios should we use?” he asked.

“I dunno,” I muttered. “Some of your lame-ass flimsy reasons, I guess.”

Ouch.

“You’re really not in a position to be making comments like that, are you?” (Well, no. But when has that ever stopped me?) I insisted that it was true, that he came up with the damndest reasons.

“That’s just superior top logic in operation,” he claimed. I said that was an oxymoron. He didn’t like that either.

“NO, I’m not calling you a moron!” I screeched. “Don’t you know what an oxymoron is??”

“Yes, I know what it is,” he said. “But it still sounds like it should be the name of an infomercial or something. Doing Laundry with OxyClean for Dummies.”

Jesus. Who put a quarter in him tonight?

By the way, here I am, playing the cheerful hostess and offering up the Spanking Buddy.

He liked how my panties tangled up on my feet and legs when I kicked. Said it was a good leg toner, using my panties like an exercise band. He should start his own gym and teach his own exercises.

Yeah, right.

All this jocularity was very well and good, but when he moved me to the ottoman, things began to transition. We got quieter and more focused, and he ramped things up.

No tears tonight. I wasn’t feeling the need for emotional release. But I went so deeply into subspace, I couldn’t speak any more. I heard incoherent noises… moans, groans, sighs, whimpers. Dreamily, I wondered where they came from, and realized they were my own.

It was an all-leather night, except for the final 10, much later, with the wooden paddle. He didn’t ask me to count them, as he usually does. He knew I wouldn’t be able to. I could barely take them, they hurt so much, and I shrieked into my pillow. And when they were over, I melted bonelessly into the cushions.

I didn’t say anything for a long time. I didn’t think about anything, either. My head felt refreshingly clean and clear, the usual nattering at bay. I could have shut my eyes and drifted to sleep, as he curled up next to me and stroked my back, my hair. When I finally spoke, my first slurred words were, “Can I slip into something more comfortable…like a coma?”

Ever want to freeze a moment in time? A moment when you feel so utterly right, so blissful and and at peace, you want to capture it and lose yourself in it?

Eventually, I know I have to raise my head, open my eyes, push my hair out of my face. But I put it off as long as possible. Fortunately, ST is patient. He waits. He soothes, and he waits.

We ended the evening by watching some SNL skits on Hulu. He’d never seen their parodies of the Lawrence Welk show, which are hysterical. You can’t fully appreciate them unless you grew up with that stupid show, which we both did.

I am particularly sore tonight, squirming in my computer chair. Not complaining, however. It’s the good pain. 🙂 I’m in my happy place.

Pre-emptive Strike(s)

Many strikes. Hundreds of them. What for? Nothing I’d done. No, these were what ST thinks I’m going to do. He say I’m going to get addicted to my new Smart Phone and be on it all the time, like everyone else.

Jeeeezus. I haven’t even gotten the @#$%ing thing yet and I’m already in trouble for it.

I protested that I wouldn’t do any such thing. He didn’t believe me. He even had the nerve to suggest that I’ll be on my cell phone tweeting and texting and doing God knows what while he’s spanking me.

“That’s ridiculous! Why would I even turn on my cell in my apartment? I have a landline and a computer here!”

Makes sense, right? But of course, to a spanker, the only logic is Top Logic and anything else is null and void. Humph. I guess I’ll just have to prove it to him. He also warned me that if I ever text and drive, I’ll never sit again. Not to worry… I don’t intend to. With all the ranting and bitching I’ve done about other people doing it, I’d be the world’s biggest hypocrite if I did it myself!

He congratulated me for being Chrossed, to which I moaned that I hadn’t been Chrossed for two weeks in a row. “You’re Chrossed lots of times!” he said. “You don’t have to be every single week!”

“But I want to be every week!” I whined.

“Oh, so it’s all about what you want, huh?”

Duh. Well, of course it is. What else would it be about? Silly of him to even ask such a thing.

“Well then, I guess I should spank you really hard, then, so you’ll have something to write about.”

I shrugged. “You don’t have to. Even if you’re light, I can spin it.”

He didn’t like the sound of that. “What do you mean, spin it?”

I said that I’d simply write a post about what a lame-ass he was tonight.

That did it. Me and my big mouth.

We changed things up a bit tonight, position-wise. He said we needed to make the pictures a little different. Hey, I’m all for that. But I didn’t know “different” was going to be so damned uncomfortable.

Doesn’t seem like it should be all that uncomfortable, does it? Well, it was. The top of the chair was digging into my belly and my shoulders ached from bracing with my arms.

Booo hoooooo. Yes, he felt so sorry for me. NOT.

After a while, he let me stand up and grip the chair. So nice of him, don’t you think? I wasn’t rolling my eyes, honest. I was looking skyward and thanking the deities for the kindness of this man.



Ah, finally I got to lie down. Funny, though… I didn’t find a whole lot of comfort in that either.

But finally, we had our grand finale (20 with the big strap and 10 with the paddle). I was just a tad perplexed when he put me back over his knee, but this time it was just so he could massage on some lotion. 🙂

Silly me, I thought we were done.

Nah. Later, I got up to change the channel on the stereo. Apparently, my bending over got him all hot and bothered again.

I swear, it’s like a red flag in front of a bull! Back OTK I went for Round Two.

(And yes, those are cassette tapes. Not a word out of any of you. They’re old and I don’t play them anymore; most of them have been replaced by CDs or iTunes downloads. But I am a saver.)

He kept saying, “Just a few more.” But then he got into a debate with himself about exactly what is “a few,” anyway? More than two, less than 10? A few dozen? A few hundred? All the while he was musing over this nonsense, he was spanking away.

Oh yes, ST was in good form tonight. (groan)

It was a fun night; a lot of laughing. Sometimes, I just need to laugh. 🙂  He certainly had his share of chuckles as well. (Have I mentioned lately that ST has the most diabolical laugh?)

And tomorrow, I plan to buy the aforementioned Smart Phone. Stay tuned for my adventures with that. I’m sure my Luddite self will be tested to the max!

A visit from Mr. Hyde

(I’m going to beg the question here and assume y’all know the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.) 🙂

I would say that most of the time, ST is Dr. Jekyll. Mild-mannered, soft-spoken, with a gentle nature despite his powerful right hand/arm.

Most of the time. But once in a while, when I least expect it, his inner Mr. Hyde comes out to play.

Tonight, he didn’t even give me a hug when he came in the door. Just unceremoniously led me into the bedroom and pushed me facedown onto the bed. Not wasting any time, he pulled everything below my waist down and off.

“What did I do??” I blurted. He didn’t answer, just gave me a few hard whacks. He pulled me back onto my feet, long enough to tie my hands together, then pushed me back down. After tying my feet, he then bound both ropes to the bed casters, so I couldn’t budge.

“What did I DO?” I repeated. He leaned down and wound his fist into my hair.

“You didn’t do anything.”

Huh?

“I just have a head of steam built up, and I feel like spanking some ass. Since you’re my spanking girl, you’re the lucky recipient. And there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. Is there?”

I didn’t answer, and he pulled my hair more firmly. “I asked you a question.”

“No,” I said meekly.

I suppose I should have been terrified. I trembled, but not from fear. I know I was in for it, and hard. But I also knew I was in very trusted hands.

And sometimes… sometimes, I like to go there. I like to play a little rough. But you guys know that.

You’ve also probably figured out that whenever ST is in Mr. Hyde mode, I usually end up in naked mode. Tonight, he decided my sweater and bra were in the way, after he’d tied my hands. So he just yanked them up and over my shoulders, where they remained bunched up for the rest of the scene.

Not to worry, it wasn’t as uncomfortable as it looks. Just uncomfortable enough. 🙂

Back on my stomach, I do believe I felt every implement in his bag, plus a couple of my own. All the while he teased me, said I had no idea what was coming next. He’d take brief breaks, caress my back and legs, then snap right back into the spanking. I couldn’t cover my mouth with my hands, so I muffled it with the comforter. I could hardly move, but some of those implements made me writhe. Once, he tickled my feet with one hand and strapped me with the other. MEAN. Just mean.

He knew it, too. “I’m just so mean and horrible, aren’t I?” I nodded vigorously. He leaned down to me once again. “But you like me that way, don’t you!” Couldn’t lie, now could I… I said yes.

“I guess we can get into some real spanking now, since the warmup is over, right?” he said.

“Whaaa?” I screeched. “There was no warmup!”

He insisted there was, but it was a “higher level” warmup. Oh, brother.

“Well, you’re practically naked,” he explained. “I was concerned that you’d get cold, so I wanted to make sure there was lots of heat emanating from your bottom.”

OK, some things are just ridiculous. “You could have put on the fucking heater!” I hollered. Fortunately, by that point, Mr. Hyde was on his way out and ST just laughed.

But that didn’t keep him from finishing me off with 20 belt strikes, followed by 20 paddle swats. Hard ones.

I really like the following photo, although I hate the straight-on angle. You all know how I feel about gyno shots. So yes, that is a little NO in a circle with a line through it, placed strategically. 🙂 

We were both extra relaxed and mellow after that scene. Guess it did us both good.

A couple of news bits: There is a new e-book available called
My First Spanking: An Anthology. It is a collection of stories about first spankings, compiled and edited by Cassandra Park and published by Ravenous Romance. Yours truly contributed a story. I figured everyone and their mother knows the story of my real first spanking by now, so I wrote a fictional tale called “Just Ask Me.”

Also, Suzy’s Spanking Union (S S U) just put up a lovely review of this blog. Thank you, Suzy! I appreciate the kind words and the nice shout-out. 🙂

Now, if I could just keep all these yummy post-spanking feelings for more than a few hours. If only they could form an invisible shield, protecting me from all the BS outside my haven. But alas…

I guess that’s why there are so many Mondays. Sweet dreams, my not-so-evil Mr. Hyde.

Takin’ it for Cane-iac!

Recently, the good folks at Cane-iac wrote and asked if they could send me a few new things, so I could test and review them. Naturally, I said yes, without even asking what was coming my way.

Their package arrived late last week, and I opened it to find the Pink Stripe Rubber Loop Set (two sizes: 12″ and 18″) and the Lexan Paddle OTK, a 12″ paddle sized perfectly for over-the-knee.

(gulp) Rubber? Lexan? I hadn’t experienced Lexan before, and I’d heard it described in many colorful ways, from mild (it’s not very forgiving) to strong (it sucks). But I was determined to be a brave spokesperson and put myself in ST’s capable hands with these beasts beauties. After all, I do believe in this company and their product.

So tonight when ST arrived, I showed him the new toys (and watched his eyes light up, the sadist), and we talked about how we’d handle the testing. I remembered the last time I’d done a demo with their implements, ST had given me a nice long warmup, and as a result, I didn’t get lasting color or any marks. Bravely I suggested that perhaps we should forego the warmup and go straight to the new implements. His eyes lit up even more and his grin was positively diabolical. Of course HE thought that was a good idea.

Off to the bedroom we went. I tried taking a “before” picture, holding all three implements, but as it turned out, they didn’t show up well against my sweater:

So we did this type of before picture instead:

We decided to do 20 strokes of each toy per round, taking pictures in between.

He began with the Jr. (12″) rubber loop, which is a great OTK toy. Without a warmup, the first round with the implements hurt like crazy, but I could still get a clear sense of how each one felt. The rubber loops were very snappy, more of a sting than a thud (which I like), and the loud CRACK they made was impressive. After 20 each of both the Jr. and the Sr. (18″), ST picked up the Lexan paddle.

Perhaps it’s a good thing we weren’t filming. Upon my first taste of Lexan, I used some language that would have been inappropriate for Cane-iac’s site. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Once I acclimated a bit, I realized it had a feel that’s unlike leather or wood. It’s not as thuddy as wood, even though it’s more solid and firm than leather. It has a very crisp sting and a bite upon impact (this particular one is 1/4″ thick). Cane-iac’s Lexan paddle is well made, with smooth, rounded edges and a non-slip vinyl handle. ST wanted me to mention that it felt very good to him (rolling eyes) and it was easy to use.

Here I am after two rounds of 20 with all three (120 strokes total):

We’re just getting started!

Time for another position — instead of on the bed, now it was bent over a chair. By now, I was quite warm and that sweater had to go.

Third set of 20 with all three — bit more color now. And I was stamping and fussing a lot more.

(Big thanks to Zelle for Photoshopping the damn tag out of my bra! ♥)

But wait, there’s more! All three of these toys could be used OTK, even the 18″ loop. So over his lap I went.

We stopped counted the sets of 20; he just whaled away at this point. ST takes his product testing duties very seriously.

After three positions and countless strokes, I’d say we’d done a good test, and all three implements passed, even the Lexan. Once I was warmed up, I sorta kinda didn’t completely hate it. OK, I loved to hate it. Or I hated to love it. Something like that.

So now I have three new additions to my collection, and I would recommend these to anyone who wants something different from the usual. The prices are excellent, and you cannot beat Cane-iac’s customer service or quality of craftsmanship.

My one caveat about the rubber loops? I would say exercise caution about using them anywhere you’re concerned about noise, because they do make a distinctive and loud snap. But as I always say, if your neighbors don’t hear an accompanying shriek, they can’t say for sure what you’re doing. So make sure you stifle your reactions with a pillow or bedspread and you should be fine.

Oh… did you think we were done?

Hell, no. I had to retrieve the rest of my Cane-iac arsenal.

I was so sore after all those, he even let me rub:

However, despite it all, I couldn’t stop giggling. I tried to tell him it was hysteria, but he didn’t buy it. I pushed him a bit too far with this pose — you can’t see it very clearly, but I have my middle finger stuck through the loop:

OK, OK! I’m sorry! Sheeesh… Some people have no sense of humor.

By the way, I broke my Junior rattan cane. I would have taken a picture of it, but we couldn’t find the piece that flew off. Honest to god, we searched all over the bed, on the carpet, under the bed — that damn thing just disappeared. Knowing me, I’ll find it with my bare foot eventually.

Even without a warmup, I didn’t mark. Scary. But ye gods, I’m sore. Happily so, though. I needed this tonight.

(Right, Erica. When do you not need it??)

Thank you, Cane-iac. And thank you, ST, Testing Partner Extraordinaire. 🙂