A bit of Friday humor and distraction

Taking a quick work break to share a little search word silliness. I don’t have a lot this time, but one of them was so off the wall, I couldn’t wait.

desi wife mirro spanking land

What the ever loving… Luuuuucyyyyyyy!! ‘Splain! I’m assuming “mirro” was supposed to be “mirror.” Unless they’re talking about that wonderful British actress, Helen Mirro.

And my other favorite:

erica spanked by steve scott

LOL! Several people on FetLife refer to John as “John Scott.” So now Steve is “Steve Scott”? Not very toppy, is it. 😀 Particularly amusing when you recall that Scott isn’t even my real name.

In other news… drama and stress with John continues. He’s having a rough time of it lately; not just work, but last week he got rear-ended on the freeway (no one was hurt, fortunately, but it was a three-car pile-up, with his car in the front). And all his work stress is affecting his teeth, which are costing a fortune in repair. Poor thing is having a root canal today as I type. (sigh) But on the good news side, my stepmother had her second surgery and compared to the first one, this was a breeze and she was home the next day. I will be going to visit her soon. Oh, and yesterday, I lost my prescription sunglasses, couldn’t find them anywhere, and had resigned myself to having to replace them (just bought them this year and they were $250). But then last night, I found them in my car, underneath the driver’s seat. I don’t know how they got there, but I was so relieved. I am very precise about where I put things, so I don’t lose stuff as a rule. When I do, I start wondering if I’m losing my mind. You know, genetics and all that.

Someone asked me if I would be spanked for carelessness, misplacing my sunglasses. I guess that’s how some spanking folks would handle it. Me? I punish myself enough, feeling stupid and upset and wondering if I’m dealing with early senility. John, rather than threatening to spank me, offered to pay for new glasses. I do love that man. ♥

There needs to be a spanking party, or something like that. Fun is needed. Some wild abandon and forgetting about all the shit going on is needed. I’ve had a bit too much life lately.

So, here’s a picture of a hot couple, Jonny and Stacy Stockton, pre-spanking. Because yum.

Have a great weekend, y’all.

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 9/30

Closing out the month with a few treats from the idiot gallery.

hi u like being momy

Me no momy. U like being moron?

very lovely spankable ass do you squirt while getting spanked goddess loe to meet you

I think if you were spanking me, loe and behold, I just might squirt something out of my mouth.

Playing with my ass with toys and I will blow the biggest load. Want to watch

Sure. About as much as I want to binge-watch The Walking Dead. (Those of you who know how utterly disgusting I find rotting zombies will know I’m being sarcastic here.)

I am an Itlaian dominant looking for submissive women. tie up, spakn, obbediennce down my knees. I want spank your ass.

I love Italian. I think it is the most beautiful of the romance languages. But you, sir, are a stronzo. Va via.

And how about some fun search phrases to round out our Friday? The first two definitely belong in the “Huh???” category:

oocities please spank tears

lover boy 34 thebetxxx com

Any guesses?

adult spanking cane

That’s right. Canes are for adults. Good for you.

what is a padded spank

I’ll bite, what is it? How the hell should I know?

And finally, my favorite:

naked stories shared by people

I’m so glad they clarified that. I was thinking they might be shared by hedgehogs.

This is a good day for a cynical post. I’m so tired and disgusted over what’s going on around me, I could croak. I’m about ready to go into a padded room and watch nothing but animal videos and old movies for the next month. Must. Stay. Sane. (deep breaths)

Have a great weekend, y’all.

Friday odds and ends

MIA again — busy! All work and no play is making Erica very dull. I haven’t seen Steve in two weeks, but I’ve been so work-crazed, I really didn’t have proper time for him anyway. In fact, I actually had to turn down a girls’ night out with Alex and SpankCake last week, which sucked! But life interferes with one’s fun. But fun is coming next week! Shadow Lane, here we come (leaving next Friday morning). I’ve already arranged for a work break, so my plate will be cleared.

Meanwhile, how about some weird search phrases for your Friday amusement?

First — folks, my name isn’t that complicated. Really, it isn’t. So why did I find these in my search phrases?

earica scott

euricka scott

jane erika scott

EAR-ica? Really?? I know I have big ears, but that’s just mean. :-Þ

For those who like it rough:

belt spanking video not for the squeamish brutal

dress down brutal girl belt spanking stories!

That last one especially confuses me. Is the belt spanking brutal, or is the girl brutal? And is her dress down, or does she get dressed down? And why the ! ?

I can’t resist spanking my gf

What do you want, my permission?

my boyfriend spanking to red ass desi story

WTF is a desi story? Lucyyyyy! You got some spankin’ coming!

And while we’re on weirdness, I got a bizarre tweet last night. Some guy I don’t know, has a really creepy profile, clicks “like” on a bunch of my tweets. OK, fine. But then he tweets to me:

I love you erica. Thought u wuz dead.

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. I’m not THAT old, for Christ’s sake!

Anyway… so last Friday, I had a bit of a meltdown. I was overwhelmed with work, John was having major problems with his own work, I’ve been having computer issues, and I was so stressed out, one side of my face had broken out in hives. (Either that or something or things bit me — I never did figure out what it was. It went away after a few days.) I seriously considered cancelling Shadow Lane — it seemed like too much work and hassle to prepare for, I didn’t have time, I wasn’t in the right head space, blah blah blah. Fortunately, when I went to John’s that night, he convinced me that we’d be OK, everything would work out, and we really do need the getaway. “When am I going to get stuff done for the party?” I asked. “I’ve been so slammed with work, I haven’t even had a chance to go shopping.”

“Let’s go to the mall tomorrow!” he suggested. “I need pants, and we can shop for a dress for you.” And so we did; we made an afternoon/evening of it. And what did John do? He picked the perfect dress for me, straightaway. We walked into H&M, and there were some dresses at the front of the store. He plucked one off the rack and said, “This is it.” I demurred, saying we should look at everything else, so we wandered through the store and selected a few more items. But in the dressing room, it was clear… the dress he’d chosen was THE dress. He zipped me into it and it fit perfectly, looked fabulous. “Who knows you better than you know yourself?” he teased. “Who’s the perfect boyfriend who picked the perfect dress?” I also managed to slip into a store this week and buy some new panties, so I am set.

My enthusiasm for the party has been restored. And so, I am looking forward to next week. Monday, something special is happening, but I don’t want to jinx it so I’m not going to talk about it until after the fact. Tuesday, John and I will have been together for twenty years (the Shadow Lane trip is our celebration). And then we head off early Friday morning for three days of spanko debauchery with our friends. I need to play. I need to laugh. I need this so, so much.

But for now, I still have work to do, including some more of that nasty medical stuff. However, thanks to my most excellent computer tech friend Jesse, I now know how to set placeholders for the photos, so instead of those disgusting images, all I see are plain white boxes. 😀  And unfortunately, it does seem that my computer needs a new hard drive, but that can wait until I come back. It’s still working, and every time it’s crashed so far, I’ve been able to fix it with Disk Check, so fingers crossed.

Life is good today. Have a great weekend, y’all.

Oh, those swoon-worthy phrases…

You all know what I mean. Those spanking-related phrases that push our buttons; we’ve talked about them a lot, so that’s not what this post is about. It’s about a particular instance of one that shot my nerve endings into overdrive.

As a proofreader/copyeditor, I don’t choose what I work on. I read what’s given to me and I make it as perfect as I can. In my thirty-five years of doing this, I’ve read quite the spectrum of subject matter. And lucky me, I seem to have found my niche lately: spanking/fetish erotica. I work on a whole lot of that. Therefore, I see a broad range of kink and types of play. Some of it resonates. Some of it doesn’t. We’re all so different.

But every now and then, I read something that slams into my kinky reflexes so hard, I squirm in my desk chair. I don’t want to seem like I’m playing favorites, so I am not going to reveal the author or the book, just quote a snippet.

The hero has just ordered the heroine to lie on the bed for a punishment:

Her: I don’t want to.
Him: I didn’t ask if you want to. I told you to do it. NOW.

I can’t explain why any more than I can explain any of this kink stuff, but that little bit right there got me so hot and bothered, I had to take a work break, if you get my drift. (I know, I know, TMI. But hey, just one more of the joys of working at home.) 😀

Now, from the sublime to the ridiculous, a few search phrases I found for my blog.

how spanking models work

Hard, honey. Really hard.

my parents left and this guy from school spanked me

Well, good for you. And I’m supposed to do exactly what with this information?

spanking sarah bright pics

I am not Sarah Bright. I look nothing like Sarah Bright. Sarah Bright is a top. Why does Google delude this poor hapless searcher by directing them to my blog?

speeding in my house earns you a spanking

You must have one hell of a huge house to be able to drive a car in it.

braces pigtails bows pajamas spanking

OK… aside from the obvious last word, how the @#$% does any of this lead to me?? I haven’t worn pigtails since I was twelve and I got my braces off when I was thirteen. I’ve never worn bows; not that I can recall, anyway. Pajamas? Yes, I wear those. I don’t think I’ve ever been spanked in them, though. So what was this person doing, just throwing out a bunch of Little terms to see what came up? Sure must have been disappointed when he/she saw me!

Anyway. Back to work for me, and then off to John’s. I think we’re going to have a more peaceful weekend than the last one was. Last Friday, John’s refrigerator, garage door opener, and one of his crowns all broke. We spent the weekend buying ice and putting buckets of it in the fridge to keep the food cold. He managed to fix the garage door himself. And he was able to get emergency appointments for both the tooth and the fridge on Monday, taking half a day off. Whew. So if this weekend is uneventful, neither one of us will complain.

Have a great weekend, y’all. And to my American friends, please have a safe and happy July 4th. EDIT: Also to my up North pals, happy Canada Day!

Friday odds and ends

Who’s ready for the weekend? How about some inane search word phrases to propel you into it?

little emily spanked and naked around town

Who the hell is little emily, why is she running around town naked, and, most important, what does this have to do with me?

erica qcoot

OK, that’s not even close. And leave my coot out of this.

spanking pepper oily bottom

Ew. Don’t be putting pepper and oil on my bottom. It’s not a freaking salad.

gay jewish spanking

I think you may be a little farmischt — try J-Date, perhaps?

And finally…

Spanking is woderful

Why yes, it is. But you might want to do something about that cold.

In other news… this week in the Chiropractor Chronicles (who came up with that name? I forget. It’s brilliant), he had me in some sort of pretzel position trying to get something or another to shift, and I instinctively tensed up before relaxing and letting him do his thing. I can’t help it. It’s what I do. “You need to learn how not to be in charge for two minutes,” he said. “Look who’s talking,” I snapped back. “Touché!” he laughed. Later, when he said “Lay on your right side,” I couldn’t help saying, “Lie.” “OK, Ms. Editor. Pardon me while I dig my thumb in a little harder.” Oh, yes, please, hurt me.

I do have a legitimate concern that’s been hamster-wheeling about in my fevered little brain lately. There’s no denying that I’ve got some sort of weird soft-tissue thing going on in my left cheek/hip/hamstring. I’ve been massaging and stretching and icing, and it’s not affecting my workouts or my day-to-day activities, but it’s tedious. It’s annoying. It may be arthritis — I’m certainly at the age where that could be so. X-rays show nothing, so perhaps an MRI might, but getting one of those from my HMO is a major ordeal. Bottom line (pun not intended) — I can live with this, but I can’t help wondering — does it have anything to do with basically getting my butt pounded for the past 20 years? And is it something I should tell a doctor? I know they’re professionals, they’ve heard it all… but good grief, how embarrassing! And then what — they’d probably tell me that perhaps I should stop doing that, and that’s not about to happen. Meh. Ageing blows! 😦

It’s something to consider, though. What does happen to ageing spanko bottoms? Do we get some sort of syndrome back there akin to what boxers get after years of beatings? Good thing our brains aren’t in our backsides. (Although a lot of people do have their heads up their asses, so… never mind.)

On that cheery note, I’m back to work. Have a great weekend, y’all.

Friday odds and ends

Want a few search phrases? Sure you do.

ho do shoot for spanking films

Who are you calling a ho?? I suspect they meant to type “how,” but having “ho” lead them to me is perturbing.

erica scott spanking poverty

I don’t think anyone’s ever gone broke buying my videos…

gay jewish spanking

Um… so this person is looking for spankos who are not only Jewish, but Jewish and gay? Oy. Quite a niche there, my friend. Good luck to you. In order to find what you’re seeking, you’ll need gay-dar, J-dar AND spank-dar.

doctor spanking me mom

I’m not your mom, honey. So this isn’t my problem. Why are you complaining, anyway? Haven’t you heard that medical fantasies are a hot trend?

boys spanked to tears

OK. This is a perfectly legitimate search phrase. But how, exactly, would this phrase lead people to me?? What’s the thought process here? Not that search engines think, but still.

In other news — I did it. I got a new phone. I went to Verizon yesterday and spent about 15 minutes on my own, playing with the display phones, checking out the features. I did try out a few Motorola Droids, but I was definitely drawn to the Samsung S7. Not the Edge, though. John has that, and although it’s considered the cooler, hipper phone, it’s also more expensive and honestly, I don’t like that weird curved edge with the display extending into it. So I went with the basic. I fooled around with the touch screen a bit, and made a pleasant discovery. On the Samsung phones (didn’t see this feature on any other phone; maybe the iPhone does it too), you don’t have to go to a separate screen for symbols when you’re typing. Each letter has a corresponding symbol, so if you want the symbol, all you have to do is press the letter and hold it down.

Then I found a sales guy — he reminded me a lot of Stuart on The Big Bang Theory, kinda nerdy, but he was very nice and helpful. He showed me a bunch of stuff and helped me make my decision.

The Samsung camera is superior to most of the other Androids. It will be nice to have a decent camera. The features are mind-boggling, and this is probably way more phone than I’ll ever need, but I did get an amazing deal on it because I was due for upgrades and there were promotions and so forth. My monthly bill did not go up, although now I’m on a plan with the lowest amount of data allowed. However, I barely use any now. I have all my music on an iPod, and I use my desktop to look at videos and so forth, so I can probably keep that cheapo plan. If that doesn’t work out, I can increase my data for $15 a month, no biggie. I already have unlimited calling and texting. And the $180 I paid yesterday got me the phone, the case, the protector, and the car charger. So I think I got a good deal.

Oh, and because everyone warned me, “Your stuff won’t transfer! They’ll tell you it will, but it won’t!”, I spent time downloading all my phone’s photos onto my desktop, and typing all my contacts into a Word document. I needn’t have bothered. Every single thing on my phone was transferred over cleanly, including photos, contacts, and even all my texts. It took a while; I was at Verizon for over two hours.

The first thing I figured out how to do when I got home was put up a picture of John and me as the wallpaper. Priorities, you know.

It’s Friday; off to John’s in a few hours. And guess what we get to do this weekend? Absolutely nothing!! No reunions. No dressing up. No putting on a face for a bunch of strangers. Ahhhhhhhhh. Oh, and we’ll make damn sure to go to a decent restaurant too. That new place we went to doesn’t have a Yelp page yet. When it does, I’ll have a few words for them. I think I’ll refrain from using John’s description, however. 🙂

And this Monday, I have another appointment with my chiropractor. Last time I was there, when he was helping me off the table, he held out his hand to me and said, “Come here, little girl.” I damn near died. Steve says I should toss out something like, “You know, you’re awfully toppy,” and see what his reaction is. If he asks what “toppy” means, I can just cover it up by saying it’s just another term for “bossy,” or something along those lines. Mind you, I know this is all just fantasy territory. But it’s fun. 😀

Have a great weekend, y’all.