Is spanking an "addiction"?
Today’s topic/question comes from a reader’s private message to me. It used to be that when one talked about addiction, they were referring to the chemical type — alcohol, narcotics, tobacco, etc. But these days, it seems that any time someone really likes something or perhaps indulges in it more than the average person, it’s slapped with the addiction label. People are addicted to sex, to shopping, to texting, to navel lint gathering. Is the term overused, or is there some truth to it?
Granted, exaggerating addiction is nothing new. This weekend, John and I watched the cheeseball cult classic “Reefer Madness,” the anti-marijuana “message” movie from 1936 (not to be confused with “Reefer Madness: The Musical,” which is fairly recent and intentionally funny). Talk about melodrama! Warning! One puff of this “demon weed” and you’re on the road to juvenile delinquency, depravity and criminal insanity! You’ll laugh maniacally, have indiscriminate sex and run over old men with your car! Tell your children — this unspeakable scourge could affect your son, or your daughter. Or yours! Or YOURS!
(Double-click on the picture and you can read all those hilarious blurbs a little more easily.)
Still, overblown as this is, at least it’s referring to substance abuse, a physiological addiction. So what about these so-called addictions that have nothing to do with substances? Are there different types of addictions — emotional, psychological? When does something go from being something you need for a happier life, something you enjoy, to an addiction? What’s next — claiming we’re addicted to oxygen because we need to breathe?
I am currently missing New Guy very much. But along with missing him personally, is it the spanking, or something else? Is it touch? No… anyone who has seen John and me together knows that we are as touchy-feely as a couple of high-school kids. Is it the attention? Probably, since I crave that as well. The endorphin high, the stress release? Yup, there’s something to that. The blissful relaxed feeling afterward? Well, who wouldn’t want that?
Granted, if I go spankless, I don’t suffer from hallucinations, nausea and delirium tremens. But I get damn cranky.
Still… addiction? Or just wanting something because it makes me feel good?
It seems to me that something, anything, is an addiction only when the need/urge for it interferes with one’s functioning or causes reckless behavior. Picking up strangers in a bar and having unprotected sex, for example, due to a sexual addiction. Endangering others by driving drunk. Screwing up on the job because you can’t put your iPhone down for two seconds. But where does spanking come into this? Thinking about it too much? Spending too much time online reading about it? Feeling like if you can’t get a spanking, you have to self-spank to release the tension?
OK, some would say I’ve engaged in reckless behavior by having men I really don’t know all that well coming to my apartment. I’ve never set up a “safe call,” even though many think that is essential. However, I don’t think those actions are born of being out of control; I have gut-level instincts and I follow them. It’s not like I’ve been online with a stranger and he says, “Can I come over now?” and I say yes and give him my address because I just HAVE to be spanked by him right this minute and if it doesn’t happen I’ll lose my mind.
For those who engage in spanking or other types of BDSM play regularly, how do you feel when life interferes with your fun and you have to go without it for whatever reason? Does it affect your mood? Do you indeed feel a sort of withdrawal?
What do you think of the loose interpretations of “addiction”?