Correspondence Hall of Shame, 4/22
Happy Earth Day. You know, sometimes I can’t believe I’m still posting this particular column. But no matter how much change happens, some things remain the same. Dicks will be dicks. And speaking of which…
i love you already. i wanna tie you, use you and abuse you, as i make you gag on my cock..i wanna clamp your nipples, and make you scream as i pull them slowly, while you gag on my cock.
Notice how he mentions gagging on his cock not once, but twice. A bit fixated on our size, are we? I get the sense that if I were to encounter this guy, I’d be gagging long before his member was introduced.
Here’s a charmer — a guy who took exception to my political stance and wrote me a long, drawn-out, racist pro-Trump screed. I’ve clipped just a portion of it here:
Enjoy the crime ridden slums of what used to be a great place to live…sunny SO CAL…you should join BLM and let the brothers use your ass for target practice…LOL
(sigh) Don’t you just love people who laugh at their own so-called humor? Although in this dude’s case, I think instead of Laughing Out Loud, LOL stands for Lord Of Logorrhea. (Go on, look it up.)
John said I should have answered that the murder rate is much higher in red states than blue, so before I could enjoy living in a crime-ridden slum, I’d have to move to one. But nahhh… didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of an answer, so I just hit “Block.”
Do you want to be my bitch?
No. (Brevity is the soul of get-the-fuck-outta-my-face.)
Is it okay if I masturbate while looking at your pictures?
Why are you bothering to ask, when it’s pretty obvious you’re already doing so?
I would love to help make you’re tushy red 🙂
Ew ew EWWWWW. And yes, I’m more grossed out by that stupid baby word than I am by the fact that he doesn’t know “your” from “you’re.”
Hi, I do not live next to you but I would love to have fun with you if you want of course, I am looking for someone to control me in a video call and tell me what to do and how to do and I will listen to everything she tells me to do, if you tell me to bring hand quickly or slowly or insert finger or swallow Whatever you tell me is done
(sigh) For the gazillionth time, a little louder for those in the back: I. Am. Not. A. Domme. Whatever I tell you? Okay. Go waste someone else’s time.
And finally… Y’all know how we sometimes doctor our bottom pics with little stickers or emojis over the more revealing bits? Well, in my case, I’m really not fond of the proctologist’s view. So I’ve been known to cover that in my bare bottom pictures. However, someone found an older pic of me on FetLife before I learned how to edit photos. And they posted this comment:
Really? Honey, I certainly hope you’re referring to stroking your own butthole. Because if you even think about touching mine, your nickname will forever be “9 1/2 Fingers.”
Every now and then, I feel the need to remind everyone that I do actually get some wonderful messages from people, and that I’m not Negative Nellie every damn minute. A woman on FetLife wrote to me asking if she could quote something I’d written, and ended with this:
We haven’t officially met yet but we have many friends in common. I do hope our paths will cross some day as I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you and because I can tell from your fet and twitter that you are one hell of an amazing human!
I told her this made my day. ♥ For all the suckage, there is good to be found on the internet.
Have a great weekend, y’all. Stay safe.
On my mind
Let’s start this with a few facts we all know.
I am outspoken and opinionated.
I am often snarky.
I don’t suffer fools, and if people screw with me (or my friends), I don’t hold back.
However. Despite what some may think, I do not revel in insulting people or hurting feelings. Not my thing, and not my intention.
A while back on Twitter, I said something flippant about a particular sexual/spanking position that I find deeply humiliating as well as impossibly uncomfortable, physically. I believe I said of all the NO positions, this one was the NO-iest.
Some people chimed in and agreed. It’s one of those things you love or you hate, I guess. But then I got called out for kink-shaming.
I was taken aback.
The first thing I did was check in with a good friend, whom I know happens to love the position in question. I asked her if she felt offended or shamed by my comment. Her reply: “Not at all. I know you don’t like it.” But yeah, she still feels comfortable in telling me about scenes where she’s experienced it, because she knows I’m happy for her pleasure and I’m not holding her in contempt for doing things that aren’t in my house of kinks.
Okay, so I felt marginally better. But this has been eating at me ever since.
Granted, speaking of houses of kinks, I’m well aware that mine is more of a studio apartment. I am basically vanilla with one very deep, dark and rich chocolate swirl. And I know I’ve said this many times before: I wish I had more kinks. I wish more things pushed my buttons. More fun! More variety! More people to play with and relate to! But we are who we are. I have managed over the years to find plenty of satisfaction within my limited kink base.
But does saying I don’t like this or that equate to telling others that they shouldn’t do it? That what they’re doing is wrong? I have never understood this.
If someone tells me that they don’t enjoy spanking, I don’t feel judged. If they say it makes them feel uncomfortable or childish or whatever, I don’t feel judged. Now if they were to say to me that it’s lame and stupid and babyish and that people look ridiculous engaging in it, yeah, I might bristle. But that’s a direct attack.
So what crosses the line between expressing a preference and kink-shaming? It seems the placement of that line differs greatly in various people’s opinions.
Is it because the topic of kink is so deeply personal? I mean, just as an experiment, let’s replace a kinky activity with a food.
I happen to hate avocado. (Yeah, yeah, I know. Everyone loves avocado, avocado is Food of the Gods, and I’m a freak.) Yes, I said it.
However, I did NOT say:
I hate avocado, and I think everyone who likes it is disgusting.
I hate avocado, and if any server even thinks about putting it on my food, I’ll have them fired. And then shot at sunrise.
I hate avocado, and you are dead to me if you disagree.
(Now don’t go quoting any of the above out of context. I can just see the reactions now: “Did you see what Erica Scott said about avocado?? What an idiotic bitch!”)
Sometimes, a preference is just that… a preference. Sometimes, saying I don’t like something means just that: I. Don’t. Like. It. I don’t mean it’s bad, you’re bad, it should be outlawed. Some things trigger and upset me. I think we all have those — kinks are deeply visceral for many of us and touch off many emotions. There are things I don’t want to see. That is on me. It’s not saying I want the activity eradicated.
A few years ago, on FetLife, I referred to myself as a “spanko purist,” because spanking is pretty much my sole fetish. I got ripped so many new ones over that, I could take a drink of water and look like a sprinkler. Jesus Christ… one person even likened me to Hitler. I didn’t mean it that way at all. I simply meant that my kink is singularly focused. Not that it’s superior. I mean, WTF?? Well… rest assured I do not use that term anymore. But I’ll never forget how ugly that situation felt.
Often on FetLife, people have referred to branching out into other kink activities as “evolving.” (sigh) I’ve been doing this for a long time. I tried a whole lot of things. I went to a lot of dungeon parties. I worked in a dungeon, for crying out loud. I participated in other types of kinks. I wore latex, participated in a slave auction, was in a bullwhip demo, you name it. But… call me un-evolved, I guess. Because spanking is it for me.
However, I never, ever want people to think I’m judging what they like, even when I make my snarky comments. Yes, I know, I’ve been known to say things like this: “You come anywhere near me with a bar of soap, you’ll be blowing bubbles out your ass.”
Or “If I were to get a tattoo, it would be on my lower back: An arrow pointing down, with the words EXIT ONLY. Don’t even think about going in there.”
Or “No, I don’t wear white panties. Last time I checked, I wasn’t five years old.”
This is me, being me. This is not me, judging you.
I would welcome thoughts on this. I would welcome civil discourse.
EDITED TO ADD THIS: I forgot that I also discussed this with John. I know that he will always speak the truth. He’s not one to blindly support me or say what I want to hear. And he said, “Maybe you should be more careful about how you express opinions.”
So, there it is.
I will never soften my stances on the important issues: politics, women’s rights, Covid cautionary measures, etc. Haters be damned.
But when it comes to kink and what floats everyone’s boat, I will try harder.
And I apologize to anyone I have inadvertently offended with my flippancy. It was not intended.