Before I begin with tonight’s adventures, I want to take a moment to tell my friends in the Northeast that my heart is with you tonight. I have been hearing all kinds of scary reports and seeing horrible photos, and I know so many of you are without power. May you and yours all come through this nightmare safely.
Also, to everyone who commented or wrote to me privately regarding Friday’s blog, thank you. I really don’t like posting stuff like that, but I was feeling so very down that day and I needed to get it outside of my head. Later, as expected, John cheered me up a great deal and we had a nice weekend. Had a lovely dinner out Saturday night and saw Argo, which I highly recommend. And tonight, Mr. D helped me banish the last of the bad feelings.
I ordered a new OTK Russet Leather Strap from Cane-iac; I’d wanted a new leather toy, and I liked that this was short enough to use OTK. So tonight, Mr. D was the first to use it. Snappy thing, this is! It’s not super thick, so it’s more snap than thud (which I prefer), but it’s quite a wicked snap. Lightweight, but you really feel it. Good coverage, too.
He used this, plus my Cane-iac Spanking Buddy and a couple of other toys, so I was quite squirmy and vocal (well, as vocal as I can be in my apartment).
The good folks at Cane-iac were generous enough to throw in another toy, their brand-new Curse of Dana OTK rubber paddle. Named for our beloved Dana Kane, this implement could be, by their own description on the website, “one of the most harsh and hurtful spanking tools we make.” I confess, I really fear rubber. In some ways, it’s even worse than wood. But I was game to try a few swats with it.
I do not know how anyone can take more than a little of this one, honestly. I admit it, folks. This brings out my inner wimp. It’s soooooooooooo painful. It’s beautifully made and I would recommend it wholeheartedly for those who are into heavy play (VBB, I’m talkin’ to you), but it’s a bit too much for me.
We had our first minor glitch with tonight’s scene — the OTK leather strap wrapped a bit, and I was feeling so emotional already, I burst into tears and sobbed my way through the rest of the scene. Even through the belt, which I loved. Mr. D read the interview I did last week and saw that the belt is my favorite, so he brought a nice, well-worn one tonight. That was another first for us; I really did love it, but by then, I simply could not stop crying. It was such a strange contradiction; despite the tears and the pain, I was half out of my mind with arousal and I couldn’t think straight or communicate properly, so I just wept and shook all over, and hunkered down for more. I could hear Mr. D’s voice, soothing me, but all I could do was nod my head slightly to acknowledge his words.
Guess I had a lot of pent-up emotion to unload. Big surprise there.
But I really did love the belt.
I don’t know how long I cried. I soaked the bedspread under my face, and when Mr. D gathered me close, I wept all over him. I knew my makeup was everywhere and I didn’t care. Funny thing… usually, when I cry, I hide my face, duck my head, look away. I don’t want to be seen. But he says, “Look at me,” and I do.
Later, he asked if I’d like to go out for a bite to eat. But I wasn’t ready to face the outside world yet. Plus, I was so completely sapped of energy, I didn’t want to move. He understood. Pulled the comforter over me and told me to stay right where I was.
After a while, my mood lightened. I felt the brick ease off my chest once again. Amazing what this does for me, every time. It felt good to laugh and be silly, after that torrent of emotion.
We had some fun on FetLife too. I got him to fill out his profile, add some more fetishes and a couple of more pictures. He isn’t posting his face, but ladies, I think you’ll like the torso/chest shot! 😀
“I know a lot of people have let you down,” he said, “but I’m going to be one of the handful of people who won’t. You need to believe that. I’m going to spank it into you until you believe it.”
I want to believe it, Mr. D. Please be patient with me, give me time. Time is our friend. I already trust you… it just takes me longer to trust that you won’t go away. You know it isn’t personal. It’s just me.
Thank you. ♥ And thank you, Cane-iac!