With a title like that, you know there’s some snark forthcoming, no?
OK, so pretty much everyone and their second cousin is on Facebook, including a lot of fellow kinksters. Generally, when kinky folks are on FB, they fall into one of two camps. Some of them use their scene names, and promote their material (books, videos, blogs, etc.) that has to do with their kink. And others are there under their real names, and don’t speak of the kink at all — they are there to connect with family, coworkers, vanilla friends, etc.
Surprise, surprise — I don’t fit into either camp. I use my scene name, but I don’t promote my scene stuff. I don’t post pictures of my bottom, of spanking, or any links to videos. (I did post a sort of g-rated kinky picture once of myself in bondage, but then I took it down.) I don’t talk about spanking. I don’t feel the need to do so — I can talk about that here, on FetLife, on Twitter. I belong to a Spanking Authors group, but it’s private. On FB, I’m friends with a lot of different people, including vanillas, and even a couple of cousins. Everyone knows what I do; I don’t exactly hide it. But I don’t broadcast it, out of respect for vanilla people, or for kink friends who are trying to appear vanilla on FB. So why do I use my scene name, you might ask. Simple. I post pictures of my face. And I don’t want to broadcast my real last name out there, for all the stalkers and weirdos to see and say, “Ah! So THAT’S who Erica Scott really is!” My real name is for friends only.
Being the troublemaker I can be sometimes, I’ll hint at it. For example, right before Shadow Lane, I’ll post a status along the lines of “Going to Vegas for a long weekend to engage in activities we don’t talk about on Facebook.” 😀 But I won’t spell it out.
So what do I find particularly annoying on FB? When I post something that has absolutely zero, zilch, zip to do with spanking, and commenters try to make it about spanking. So much for subtlety!
Yesterday, I went to lunch with my stepmother, and we had an unusually handsome waiter. Damn, he was gorgeous. I joked with my stepmom about how utterly effed up it is that I think this guy is cute and then realize I’m old enough to be his mother. When I got home, I posted a status on FB about life’s “fuck me” moments, mentioning the server and that sickening jolt when it occurred to me that he could be my son.
People liked the post and made lots of fun comments. Until the bozo who wrote, “I hope your stepmom tanned your bottom for those thoughts.”
Uh, no. Because life is not a spanking video, dear. If it were, I’d be 18, my stepmother would be a gorgeous MILF-y 42 or so, and sure, that would be video fodder. Real life? I’m 58 and she’s 83. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. No one, but no one wants to see that. And if someone does, I don’t want to know who they are.
So, because I didn’t want to be rude (yes, that happens sometimes), I attempted to deflect his remark and steered things back onto the topic. But he wouldn’t give up. Today, he wrote that I should have at least gotten a “warming on the seat of my skirt.”
Oh, for Christ’s sake.
But before I could answer, someone else chimed in and told him to give it up, that this wasn’t about spanking, despite his clumsy efforts to make it so. And what does Bozo reply?
everything about eirica is about spanking she is a spanking model idiot
(Really? If you know so much about me, how come you can’t spell my name right, idiot?)
It still boggles my mind that some people think this way. Of course, if one is into spanking, especially if one’s career is centered around spanking, then every single thing they do and say and eat and drink and breathe and excrete comes down to spanking! Everything else — feelings, desires, relationships, hobbies, preferences, travels, travails, etc. — is just filler.
Newsflash, dumbass. No, everything about me is not about spanking. It’s part of my life, granted. A big part. But it’s not my whole life, period. Nor is it the whole life of spanking actresses, models, bloggers, authors. They all have various dimensions. They have likes and dislikes, loves and hates, favorite foods, children, mates, pets, allergies, childhood memories, songs they sing in the shower, nightmares, and all those other bits and pieces that make up the messy puzzle of human-ness.
Why would people assume that anyone’s life is that one-dimensional? I guess they think that porn stars have sex 24/7 too, huh? Because, well, sex. That’s all there is, isn’t there? (sigh)
Yeah, I know. You can’t fix stupid. But it helps to rant about it every now and then. 🙂