Fun Shadow Lane party article

In anticipation of the party this week, Eve Howard’s latest “Eve’s Corner” is a primer on what you can expect to see and do at these gatherings, plus some dos and don’ts. Each segment is cleverly illustrated with photos from various SL videos. If you’re going, or even if you’re not, check it out. It’s a fun and informative read.

As I perused the article and photos, I did a double take toward the end: Hey! That’s me! It was a picture I hadn’t seen before from Spanking Professor, with the splendid Steve Fuller. Above the photo, Eve had written:

This photo introduces a matter worth commenting on, namely, taking a girl by hair. It is quite possible to do this without feeling unpleasant, by gathering the hair close to the head, etc., and many people seem to like it, however, never grab anyone by the hair without first discussing the subject and getting their permission to do it. Even if you know what you’re doing, the act of grabbing someone like that if they are unprepared could be very disturbing, and if you don’t know what you’re doing, painful. So check first. And this applies to every type of exotic variation on standard over the knee spanking.

Very wise words. I happen to love a hair grab. Not a hair yank so much — I don’t have a whiplash fetish. But the feeling of a man’s hand entangling in my hair and then his fist closing… mmmm. Don’t get me started. But never assume a woman will like that; some consider it an abusive gesture.

However, here’s MY question: Just what the hell is going on with my mouth in this photo??

Anniversary!

Fourteen years today for J and me. Ours is a relationship that is unorthodox and incomprehensible in some ways, and couldn’t be more traditional in others. But whatever it is, that inexplicable and illogical something-or-other that connects people, we have it. He can drive me mad (and vice versa), but I adore this man. Can’t imagine my life without him.

One of his co-workers (female) had told him, “Oh, you have to take her to see Eat, Pray, Love. And then right afterward, make sure you have a reservation to a nice Italian place and take her there for dinner.” That’s exactly what he did. When he first told me we were seeing EPL, I thought, “Are you out of your freaking mind? Of all the chick-flicks out there now, that’s the chick-flickiest.” “Trust me,” he said. So we went and watched Julia Roberts gorging on pasta in Italy, praying in an Indian ashram and canoodling with the uber-gorgeous Javier Bardem in Bali. It was a well-done movie; definitely a chick flick, but sumptuous with scenery and Roberts was perfection in the role. And afterward, sure enough, I was craving Italian food.

We then went to Old Town Pasadena to our favorite little Italian cafe. I often get a warm seafood salad there, but J said nooooo, you have to get pasta tonight, and I agreed. So I had cioppino (seafood stew) over linguini — sooooooooo good! I couldn’t finish it all, so J was happy to do so.

Afterward, we walked all around Old Town, went to the bookstore, etc. I was wearing a short skirt and J was mischievously reaching up my skirt and grabbing my butt every chance he got — on side streets, in a deserted bookstore aisle, on our way out of the movie theater. We were parked at the end of a dead-end street, so when we got back to my car and I was opening the door, he swooped up behind me and lifted my skirt to my waist. “What are you, ten?” I screeched, and tried to pull it back down. He wouldn’t let me!

I’m telling you, the man is the devil.

He wrote me a poem (which he does every year on our anniversary and on Valentine’s Day, and has been doing that since we first met), and since today is the actual day, if I know him, flowers will be delivered later. I do love my big devil. 🙂

Perfect ending to a perfect weekend? I was driving down the curving canyon road that leads up to J’s house, looked to the side and saw two deer. Since I had my camera with me, I tried to get a picture, but by the time I pulled over, got the camera out of my purse and turned on and opened the side window, they had turned and were heading up the hillside. Still, I figure getting their cute little tails was better than nothing.

I am a city girl, and canyon life wouldn’t do for me. I don’t like the fire hazards and the mudslides and all the bugs and spiders and other wild critters. But I do love deer. How anyone shoots these animals is beyond me.

No spanking this weekend — J was saving me for the SL party, I think. Whatta guy, huh?

Hope everyone had a nice weekend.

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 8/27

Here are a few goodies for your reading pleasure. I won’t have a CHoS next Friday, because at this time next week we’ll be on our way to Vegas. (butterflies starting to feel like elephants…)

OK, before anyone gets on my case for being mean, I am aware that the first offering is from someone whose first language is not English and he no doubt used some online translator that screws everything up. That’s not why I’m including him. He clearly did NOT read a word of my profile, knows nothing of me and this is some stock thing he sends out to any woman whose picture he likes.

i am aroused and very intrested about you ,i prefer the arousing Body and expression and high love ,all day long..i prefer the world of common excitement and love nearly off limits,that thrills and causes high level life enjoyment to both of us ……i would like to see your soul as well ,would like to present you a total change and nymphomanicial lust ,and to open Pandorras box.. i would like to open and get opened a new deep world of real fun,i am an athletic and healthy ,well hung alpha dom ,educated music engineer and architect, and of high experience and unique antique and modern lust-techniques and specials, but i also like to give you sensual well smelling massage with a delicious massage bar or oil ,while lust torturing,about hours,have ultimative and high drive and looking for the special high drived girl to dive with her into the world of arousing darkness and nymphomanicial lust, causing a fleed of orgasm and drive your pulse to the maximum , …also intrested in longterm and quality life with you in my large house… ,i am real and expect the same and can show you my all possibilities

Oh, my head. Where do I begin? Nymphomanicial? Fleed??? Oooh… long-term and quality life of lust torturing and diving into arousing darkness and ultimative thrills. Am I now supposed to abandon my own life and book the next flight to Germany?

I know I’ve asked this many times before, but it bears repeating: Does any woman ever actually reply to this sort of drivel?

Hello … I am just your friendly neighboorhood pervert …. who loves spanking female asses …B) and fucking them … LOL

Note his spelling of neighborhood. There is truth in typos.

baby I would take you over my knee and spank your bare ass naughty girl. I would also suck your toes and lick your pussy all night omg your so sexy.

Keep that mouth and tongue the hell away from me; I can’t even begin to imagine where they’ve been. And again with the pussy thing. I told you, leave my cat alone. She doesn’t like you.

Shadow Lane next weekend! My shoot with Northern Spankings is set for 1:00 Saturday afternoon and my interview with Richard Windsor will most likely be on Friday evening (live webcam, too!) But first things first — J’s and my 14th anniversary is this coming Monday, so we’re going to celebrate this weekend. I know he has some sort of plan for me, but I have no idea what it is. So I’m going to pack my little weekend bag and go along for the ride. Who knows, maybe I’ll get a well smelling massage. 🙂

Have a great weekend, y’all.

I am, therefore I bitch

Or is it the other way around? Whatever. I don’t care.

Cosmopolitan magazine (yes, I read Cosmo, shut up) has a regular feature they call “Bitch It Out!”, in which they invite their readers to vent their frustrations, aggravations and complaints. Not because they can do anything about them, but because they recognize sometimes it feels good to blow off steam and just maybe, others out there will relate to you. I rather like this idea, so I’m going to indulge in a bit of bitching myself. And after that, I’m opening the floor. Someone pee in your Wheaties? Having a suckfest of a day? Let go of it here! Have fun with it. You’ll feel better, I promise.

I hate the dentist. No, not my dentist, personally. He’s a decent chap. But I hate going to the damn dentist. I don’t like people poking around in my mouth. I don’t like having my jaw wedged open until it feels like it’s going to lock in that position. I really, really don’t like that nasty, poky little implement that scrapes and scrapes and scrapes. I hate the taste of that stupid numbing agent that’s supposed to make me not feel the needle, but I do anyway (and I hate the needle too). I hate the sound of the drill and the smell of teeth being pulverized by it. And you know what I hate more than any of that? How @#$%ing much it costs for the dubious pleasure of all this torture.

I had my annual dental exam today. I get my teeth cleaned twice a year and I observe all the proper oral hygiene, so my teeth are generally in decent shape. But when I was younger I wasn’t as conscientious, so I have a mouthful of crowns and fillings. Only one root canal, though. So far.

Last year, I got a clean bill of health after the x-rays and exam, and I exhaled in gratitude, realizing I hadn’t taken a breath in the past 45 minutes. Today, I wasn’t so lucky. Triple whammy… An old crown needs replacing, as well as a very old filling, plus I have a tiny new cavity. Fun fun fun! Dear teeth: You suck. So I had to make an appointment for two fillings and a crown; I am NOT doing this before the Shadow Lane party, so I scheduled it for the Tuesday after I come home. What the hell, I’ll be dealing with post-party drop anyway. Might as well throw in mouth pain and get it all over with at once.

The cost of today’s exam and the upcoming work? $1,145. And that is with dental insurance. What the hell are they putting in my teeth, platinum?

Funny thing about checking accounts — they don’t self-replenish. You have to actually have some work to do, earn some money and deposit it. Not much of that going on around here. So you’d think my damn teeth would cooperate and stay healthy, but noooooooo. Blech. Nothing I can do about it, though. I’m rather attached to my teeth, so I gotta do what I gotta do.

It was 108 degrees here today, at least that’s what my car’s temp gauge read on the way home. Have I mentioned lately how much I detest the heat? I don’t even feel like playing, which would probably do me a world of good. Ever notice how extremes in temperature either way are not conducive to spanking? If it’s too cold, you want to stay bundled up, not remove layers of clothing. And when it’s this hot, the last thing you feel like doing is exerting yourself. This afternoon, I sat in my computer chair and thought, “I’m hungry. I’m hungry. I’m hungry.” However, it took me nearly an hour to go get something to eat. Why? It seemed like too damn much effort to get up and walk into the kitchen. So forget spanking. Six swats in and I’m breaking a sweat. And don’t give me this baloney about how women don’t sweat, they glow and look dewy. I’m not a freaking Southern magnolia blossom. I sweat.

It was a crappy day. Not a heartbreaking day, not a tragic day, not an earth-shattering day… just enough to make me cranky as hell. Forgive me and thank you for listening. But I’m all about equal opportunity.

So, something have you cranked out of shape? Share! Bitch it out. I feel so much better.

Nerves

The pre-party buzz has been happening for a while now, and with the Shadow Lane party in less than two weeks, it’s kicking into high gear. As are my nerves.

You know, I annoy the hell out of myself. I’ve been going to these things since 1997. J is with me, so I’m never alone. I have friends there; I’m not walking into a room filled with strangers. I know the drill at these things, I know how to find room parties, I know what to bring, I know what to expect (more or less). I love spanking and lots of it. So why am I still nervous after all this time?

Can’t help it. I just am. I’m a skittish cat, as J calls me. No matter how many times I do this, I’m going to be nervous about it.

Part of it is the smorgasbord effect. I don’t play that often anymore on my own, for various reasons. There are many friends and spankers whom I don’t get to see, except for at these parties. So after months of starving, I enter this buffet, and I want to cram everything and everyone into a mere 2 1/2 days. And I can very easily end up making myself sick. I want to talk and hug and kiss and laugh and reminisce and play and play and PLAY and I can’t do it all. Especially since, unlike some of my friends, I cannot do without sleep. Erica without sleep is a disaster in the making, a meltdown waiting to happen. If I take time to sleep in, to take naps, etc., I will lose valuable time I could be with friends. But if I don’t, I won’t be worth a damn to those friends anyway.

Part of it is my own fears of not being “enough.” Will I be able to successfully give attention to everyone who desires it from me? And if I don’t, will they be hurt? Pissed off at me? Think I’m a snob? Or worse, God forbid, think I’m a wimp and I can’t take as much as I used to? Yes, I know that last one is stupid. But I reach a point sometime on Sunday where I wish I could just keep going on and on, but my body (particularly my butt) is screaming, “No, no, NO!” And I get frustrated with myself.

And finally, my own personality and nature is at war with itself. We have Erica the attention whore and the insatiable spankee, to whom these parties are as essential as air. Who thrives on the infectious enthusiasm and the sheer joy of these events, coming out of herself and blossoming like a hothouse flower. And then there is the Erica who gets overwhelmed, who doesn’t do well in crowds, who tires and burns out and wants to go hole up and be a quiet little Troglodyte. The quieter, loner side of me is the way I live most of my life day to day. I want to break away from that side for a while, and I do… but then I get tired and it comes back full force.

Yeah, I know you guys go through this with me every freaking time. A few of you get it; probably most of you shake your heads and wonder what my problem is. “What’s she got to be nervous about?” “Snap out of it.” I would love to, believe me. It’s exhausting being so neurotic.

I have two fun events scheduled for this party; I’m fairly positive I’m shooting with Northern Spanking, and I’m doing an interview with Richard Windsor. I don’t know which days or what time I’ll be doing either of these. Many friends are coming, old ones and newer ones, and I’ve already had several people express the desire to spend time with me. Yes, it’s lovely to be wanted! Remember, I’m the girl who still has the pre-party dream where I’m at the SL party and I’m either in the wrong place, or I’m there on the wrong weekend, or I can’t find any of my friends, and I go all weekend without playing with anyone. Yes, I really do have that recurring nightmare. So it makes me very happy that reality is quite different. But it also makes me nervous, wondering how I’m going to fit everyone and everything in.

Believe it or not (I don’t!), I actually got another offer for a video, to shoot with the Strictly Spanking NY people. Their reputation is stellar and I was so honored that they wanted me. However… their shoots are about pure discipline, no banter, no roleplay, just very hard spanking with hand, wooden paddle and a heavy strap. If I were doing this shoot as an isolated occurrence, no question, I’d be up for it. It would be challenging, but I’d want to do it. But during a party weekend, with a dozen or more other spankings? I can’t. I don’t have it in me; it would be too much. I hate that. I wish I could do it all. But I know myself, and I know that I’d be overextending myself if I committed to that on top of everything else I want to do.

How disgustingly ironic that I’m always wishing I could shoot more, and now I have to turn an opportunity down?? Unfortunate timing.

Bless J’s heart, he knows what a freakazoid I am before these things. He’s already listening to my frazzled ravings and telling me how much fun it’s going to be and how I’ll be fine once I get there. Oh, and in his infinite support, he’s endeavoring to “toughen me up” for all the play. Several times this weekend, he was servicing me with one of his two @#$%ing hairbrushes. Thanks a lot, honey. And he wouldn’t stop until I answered the question: “Why am I doing this?”

“Because you’re a jerk?” No.
“Because you’re a sadistic f***?” Wrong answer.
“I don’t know.” Sorry, that’s wrong too.
“OWW!” Nope, try again.
“Because you’re prepping me for the party, dammit!!” That’s it! Now how about a thank you?

Arrrrrgggghhh.

I do think he goes too far when he puts that damn thing to my lips so I can kiss it. Today, I blew a big raspberry on it. Miraculously, he didn’t start over; I guess it was too damned hot.

Anyway, it’s late at night and I will probably wake up tomorrow and cringe that I laid my vulnerability and insecurity so bare, but what the hell. We’re all nervous, people. Even the veterans. Cut others some slack, and cut some for yourself too. These parties bring many emotions, desires and awarenesses to bubble right under the surface; it’s no wonder so many of us get a little nuts. I’m saying this more as a reminder to myself, but if it helps anyone else, then excellent. See y’all in a couple of weeks.

Repost: Some helpful suggestions

Sorry, kids — I don’t have a CHoS today. But speaking of poor correspondence, I thought it would be apropos today to repost a little rant I originally wrote on my old MySpace blog several months ago. I’ve changed some of it because some of the details that pertained then don’t now, but the gist is still there. See, I’m always trying to improve the Internet society. So for those who read this before, I apologize for the repeat. But some things do bear repeating. Here goes:

I am sick sick SICK of people who have nothing better to do than to sit behind their keyboards and take anonymous potshots at others. You know, the Internet is an amazing thing — the whole world is at your fingertips, and you can contact just about anyone you want. Some people use that power to reach out and support, to bolster, to encourage, to share friendship and be kind. Others use it for malice, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out how people can be so damned mean. Do you have any idea what you’re doing, how bad you make people feel? Do you get a surge of joy when you kick someone who’s already in the dumps? Does it build you up when you attack a stranger and tear them down? What is your problem? Who took away your teddy bear when you were three?

Yes, I know, I have my Correspondence Hall of Shame. But I do not go forth and attack people on their own turf. I merely showcase the rude things people have already written to me, and anonymously. Never a name, never an identifier. It’s my way of dealing with the frustration of receiving such stupid crap. But when my personal space gets attacked (or my friends’ spaces, as the case may be), that’s it. I see red. My claws come out. I can’t change the world or its cretinous inhabitants, but damned if I can’t blow off a little steam.

So, to the lovely folks who get their kicks from throwing stones and ruining other people’s days, might I offer a few suggestions?

1. Since you clearly have a lot of time on your hands, perhaps you should volunteer some of it to help those less fortunate than you. But don’t work with children. The youth of America is doomed as it is.

2. Get a hobby. Take up a sport. Perhaps learn to play an instrument. Who knows — the same hands that can type trash and wank vigorously at the same time could make beautiful music.

3. Pour your wit and wisdom into a manuscript for the next Great American Novel. It will be the world’s thinnest book, but hey, we do what we can.

4. Since you already have the freak thing down, join a circus. Learn to be a contortionist. Then you can entertain yourself by bending over backwards and kissing your own ass.

5. When you get the urge to write something uncalled for, go relax in a hot bath. Oh, and while you’re soaking in there, perhaps you can fix the toaster, or any other electrical appliance that needs repair. Be sure to plug it in and test it.

6. And if none of these are to your liking, there’s always my good buddy Craig’s suggestion: Go fuck yourselves.

To all the good people who help provide balance to the world’s detritus, thank you. You are appreciated more than you can imagine. (big cheesy smile here)

*  *  *  *

I really wish it were two weeks from now, and we were on our way to the Shadow Lane party. I am feeling stressed, irritable and restless, worried about J who is working too damned hard for a change and is dead exhausted, it’s 100 degrees out, blah blah blah. Last weekend, we went to the memorial of a colleague of his, who died in a motorcycle crash. I thought perhaps I should schedule a visit to my mother this weekend, but you know, I just can’t. I don’t have it in me. We are both overdue for some fun. And I am overdue to play and play and play until I am oblivious to the world, blissed out and without a care.

Have a great weekend, y’all. Stay cool.