Gotta love technology
Oh, happy day. Steve was here yesterday, first time in three weeks. Damn, did I miss that man. But we settled right back into our routine as if there had been no time lapse. I didn’t have a whole lot of time, as I had a lot of work to do and I was meeting SpankCake for dinner last night; still, we managed to make up for lost time in a couple of hours.
Always in the quest for good pictures, Steve brought his GoPro camera this time, which he had on this extended pole thingamajig. It’s actually kind of neat — he could sync his phone with the GoPro, so while he was holding the camera up over us, he could see the image the camera would take on his phone screen. However, this also made things a bit cumbersome. He spent so much timing wrestling and futzing with the pole and the phone, I spent half my time just lying there and huffing sighs of exasperation. Sometime today, maybe?
“Your butt got firmer in the past three weeks!” he exclaimed. “No, it didn’t,” I scoffed. “Your hand got softer.”
(Uh, not really. His hand was just fine, thank you.)
So here are a couple of semi-action shots, two forms of media. Aren’t we techies! First is good old-fashioned cell phone (yes, the irony in that description is not lost on me), not the greatest quality, but I like it anyway:
And now here’s the whole rigmarole with the GoPro. You can see how he’s checking out the image on the phone and holding the camera, while I lie there oh-so patiently (stop laughing!) waiting.
At least this camera shows the red better.
Oh, and for those who wanna see me smile? I aim to please!
(I tried to get the overlay to match Steve’s shirt. I failed.)
My final word on the bare-breast photo from last week: As an experiment, I emailed it to John. No preamble, no explanation, just told him it was a selfie I’d taken and I wanted his opinion on it. He emailed back: “Young lady, we’re going to have to talk about such improprieties. And where did you Photoshop that perfect rack from??” HA! So far, so good. Later, when we got together, I brought up the picture, and then said that people had commented that I should smile. He actually burst out laughing, then said, “They kinda missed the point, didn’t they?”
Thank you, sweetheart. I knew you’d get it!
Dinner with SC was a lovely ending to an action-packed day. Oh, and when Steve said earlier, “You’re going to feel this when you’re sitting at dinner tonight!”?
He was right. 😀
Where was I…
…oh, yeah. Having a really boring week. The only fun and exciting thing that happened this past week is fully vanilla and involves my family in a roundabout way, so I am not going to discuss it here. No Steve, due to him having his kids with him for spring break. So, rather than contrive something or another just for the sake of posting, I kept quiet. However, now I have something to say.
A couple of years ago, Alex Reynolds posted a brilliant piece about commenting on kinky photos. It’s worth a read, or a reread. After an experience I had this week, I’d like to add another point to it, if I may.
I’m going to state this up front, so I don’t get a bunch of defensive heat. I realize a lot of commenters mean well. Not all inappropriate comments come from dicks and wankers. In the following instance, I know that no one meant anything bad. This is merely a reminder to think very carefully about what you post to someone’s photo. Sometimes, even the most well-meaning remarks will come off as a critique.
I was feeling crappy last week, I admit it. It was yet another Steve-less week, I didn’t have anything interesting or fun to say, I felt lonely and frustrated. I wanted attention. Which is a recipe for trouble, because every time I deliberately seek attention, I end up getting the kind I don’t want.
It’s no secret that I have no compunction about posting pictures of my butt. Once in a while, I will post a naked picture. But overall, I’m self-conscious about showing my breasts. Not sure why, I just am. So I keep that to a minimum. Last Tuesday, on a whim, I took a few pictures in the bathroom after a shower. In one of them, I was looking intently into the camera, not smiling, and I thought the effect was kinda sexy/sultry. Plus I had my arms up, so my boobs looked perky and pretty. I messed around with the exposure, created a kind of arty effect, and I was actually quite pleased with the result. So I posted it on FetLife. Something different, I thought.
I got some “Loves” and a few nice comments. Then three different people expressed their thoughts… about my face. Apparently, I should have smiled.
A woman puts herself out there, bares her breasts, and you critique her facial expression??
The first comment didn’t bother me. The second one gave me pause. By the time the third one was posted, I was in tears. And completely down on myself.
“Yeah, Erica, see? This is what happens when you go attention-seeking. Give it up. Your day is over. You show your boobs and no one even looks — they just see your imperfect facial expression. You’re too damned old to pull off the sultry look. You just look tired and pissed off.” Yes, this is where my mind goes.
It didn’t help that at the same time, a lovely young woman, a friend of mine, posted a vanilla shot of her face. She looked beautiful… and she too was not smiling. She got several comments, all positive. Not one person said that she should smile.
Suddenly, the picture I had liked looked bad to me. My face looked angry and/or sad, not sexy. I felt foolish. And I took the photo down.
Yes, I’m hypersensitive. Yes, I probably overreacted. But come on. Again, and again and again and again, the point is: If you see a picture and want to say something nice, go right ahead. But if you don’t have something positive or uplifting or complimentary to say, then please don’t say anything. Just move on, and find a picture you do like. And when a woman makes herself vulnerable to you, takes a step out of her comfort zone, don’t tread on her ego. You have no idea how much your words can affect another person.
I’m embarrassed to admit how many tears I shed over this. I shared the photo with a couple of trusted friends who told me I shouldn’t pay attention to what anyone says, that I looked great and I should post for myself, not others. One friend commented that telling a woman she should smile is sexist. I don’t know if I necessarily agree with that, but he has a point. I mean, I don’t recall anyone ever commenting on a man’s picture that he’d look better if he smiled. Especially if he’s baring his chest at the time. Another person said I should put the picture back up. But I will not.
So, kids, that’s where I’m at this week. Hopefully next week will be better. I will see Steve again, get my head screwed back on straight, and life goes on. Meanwhile, I’m going to go hang out with the man who always thinks I’m beautiful and sexy. ♥
Have a great weekend, y’all.