Correspondence Hall of Shame, 5/12
Some sweet sentiments just in time for Mother’s Day! I haven’t posted one of these for a long time. Not because I’m not still getting this crap, but I just haven’t felt like exhibiting it lately. However, I recently got not one but two of those bizarre scroll-down blathering entries, and I just had to share. If I have to suffer through this, then you do too. 😛
i saw your profil and i like everything on it.
you look sexy and i like it. your words sounds good to me and i hope your really mean it and are not playing here. i hope your attitude is as beauty as your look. i hope you are into the lifestyle like i am into BD(SM), because i am not going for less.
i know, i am not half as sexy as you are, but i know, if you are seirious, i could be the best master for you. if you are the sexy slave i see, dressed like i like for the right situation, i will respect, admire and love you for that.
here are to many fakes and many are playing.
if you aspect that i will pay your for anything before meeting, you are wrong. i don’t wanna be rude, but i have to make that clear.
i will pay for relocation, if we click, but when i pay, it will happen the way i want it.
my experiences are here was good, because i met my all-in-one-slave years ago. after her death, i was mourn for long, got married and divorced very quick (to personal, but will tell you later) …. there are some reason.
if you are serious and want a man that will be proud to be on your side, to live a safe live, you want a strong dom and a good protector, wants to have a good, happy and active life, that i am the right one for you.
so, show me that you are the right one for me.
kiss you all over
Some people can’t believe these are real, that someone actually sends me this kind of stuff. Trust me, I am not making up a single word. The only change I made was to x out his name.
If I aspect? The only thing I aspect is that people who correspond with me be somewhat literate. In my best Carol Burnett/Eunice screech: “Is that too much to ask???” As for everything else, sorry, pal, but I didn’t ask. I don’t want to know anything that’s to [sic] personal. And if you think you saw a sexy slave in my pictures, you need a visit to the optometrist. (What? Oh. That’s eye doctor, Einstein.)
I’m very impressed with that secy ass
Secy? You can’t be that impressed if you can’t even spell what it is.
Hey sexy lady I have read every word of your profile and I got to stay looking at your pretty red ass has got to be so excited
I think you meant “got to say,” not “got to stay.” Please, please don’t stay. My ass has got to be excited? How do you know how my ass is feeling? I mean, that’s pretty presumptuous of you.
I just got this last one yesterday, and I posted a snippet of it on Twitter, because it made my brain bleed. But here it is in all its glory.
I must be honest, all that yelling and name calling in the BDSM world, that bullshit isnt for me, But I will restrain your ass and toy you till your dehydrated from squirting your love seed all over my face, So the answer to your question is a yes,..I love to eat pussy,..and if your a multiorgasmic girl that isnt afraid of passing her limit,..perhaps we should chat? Do you ride a Motorcycle, work on motors, are you like me and happen to be in healthcare or even better are you too a ventriloquist? Perhaps when you have the time you will come and say hello,.until then, I’ll be patiently waiting to hear back from you,.
Oh, brother. Where do I start with this? Um… I never, ever asked you if you like to eat pussy. I asked if you knew what a spanko is. Not even close. Squirting my what? That’s about as cornball as “lady garden.” No, I don’t work on motors. I wouldn’t know a fuel pump from a water pump. Or what the hell a head gasket is. Although your post just made me blow my own head’s gasket.
What the heck is this about? ,. ,.. ,.. ,. ,.
And finally… WTAF? Am I a what? A ventriloquist? Yeah, sure, honey, I’m a ventriloquist. I guess that makes you the dummy.
I hope you have plenty of patience, because you’re going to be waiting… *checking watch* … forever. Does forever work for you?
In other news, last weekend for the Spanko Brunch, Hermione asked what we think during a spanking. I didn’t participate, but I gave the question some thought. I guess I think a lot of things, until I go into subspace and then I don’t think anything at all. If he’s starting out too light and the warmup is going on too long, I suppose I’ll be thinking along the lines of “Jeezus, ramp it up already.” But one thing I have noticed many times when the scene is at that point where I’m just teetering at my limit, where I don’t want it to stop but my body can’t stand anymore, where I’m wondering if I can finish: I have a little encouraging voice within that counteracts the voice saying “Ugh, I can’t do this” with “Yes, I can do this. I’ve got this.” (Yes, I have a rich inner life.)
In a recent scene that went on for a long time, I was loving it, I was in amazing hands, but I was getting tired. I was reaching my threshold. I was this close to saying, “I think we need to wind down.” And then that cheerleader voice piped up with, “Like hell you do! You don’t need to stop anything! You can take it! You’re Erica Fucking Scott!”
Swear to God. Those words went through my head. And of course, I then lasted until he ended it. 🙂
Have a great weekend, y’all. Happy Mother’s Day to those who celebrate it. ♥