Wow. Just… wow

You know, you’d think I would have learned by now not to engage with people who are clearly ignorant and biased. But I still see people posting crap that perpetuates the worst of the clichés about our scene, and it makes me nuts. Where does this level of hate come from?

Yesterday on FetLife, Spanking Tube was being discussed (a man was considering posting his first video there), and a woman I do not know posted this:

[Spanking Tube] is built for those models who are not really into spanking and just into profit.
If you are looking for social status it will not happen because they all stick together and you’d be an outcast.
If you want to enroll with them then you have to do the porn industry stage, fake story, script thing that they are.

If you ever went to one of those annual parties you’d see it immediately it’s like they set up these fake school classroom settings for spanking then you go there and you are sitting with a bunch of people in class watching the famous spank each other like you are groupies.
Half of those dirty old men are pushing fentanyl and meth to the girls and driving them around in vans all day to perform (which is identical to porn).

Wow. What an indictment. I felt compelled to be a more measured voice here, so I answered her. No, I didn’t blast her. I was quite reasonable, as you can see.

Yes, there is that side of the video industry of which you speak. But that’s not the whole of it.
Plenty of people made videos because they love spanking and it brings them joy to do so. The producers and performers make money, yes. It’s their livelihood. But I don’t know anyone who ever did this purely for the money. The people I have known who did videos were spankos to the core.
Including me.

She then answered:

It’s a really big side though. A side that has taken over 90% of this network. social status and celebrity and competition takes the intimacy away. I just prefer everyone with the Jillian attitude.

Jillian? I could only assume she meant Jillian Keenan. Okay, so we had a bit of common ground. I thought maybe I could reason with her. I mean, come on. Ninety percent?? Where on earth was she getting this?

This was my next reply:

I feel compelled to speak up for many of the people I worked with over the years. There is a well-worn cliché about how we’re all stuck up and clique-y and we ruin things for everyone else. I hate to see that perpetuated. I’m not saying some of that element doesn’t exist. I’m saying 90% is unduly harsh. We do agree on this, however — I have all the admiration for Jillian and I’m one of her Patreon supporters. She is a brave and strong voice for us. And hey, I’ve done videos and I go to parties, but she likes me anyway, for whatever reason. 😉

I figured that last part would lighten things up a bit. I was mistaken. She then came back with this:

@Erica_Scott I went to one of those kingpin annual parties once and from experience I have a story of what goes on over there that is beyond shockingly different than a cliche. And some of those people involved are 200+ video famous and there were A LOT.
One day I’m going to tell that story here without names and it sure be an excellent reminder of the many of others who were trapped in the exact same cliche environment as I was. 90% is a pretty fair number. Bad people…. everywhere.

And I find it extremely hard to believe you never noticed and I find it extremely surprising the cops don’t ever rush in and arrest 50 at a time. but we’ll leave this story alone for a bit because I’m busy this month.

Jeeeezus. Hostile, much? And she was starting to get incoherent, so I gave up.

You know what bothers me the most? Clearly, she had a lousy experience at a spanking party, and that sucks. But why? I don’t know which one, and I don’t know any details. Just her raving about video people and how horrible we all are. And there was no swaying any of it, even with a measured and humorous approach. If you can’t discuss your feelings and experiences without hurling ad hominem attacks, then I can’t help you.

You know, I’ve seen this kind of shit for years. I even wrote this post about it nearly ten years ago. But it still hits me in the gut. Am I saying none of this kind of thing exists? Of course not. I’m not stupid and I’m not naive. But to paint everyone who is in this industry with the same broad paintbrush is appalling. And to spread this sort of thing to newcomers and people who are just getting up the courage to try their own first party and so forth is so freaking detrimental.

I’m not even in the damn industry anymore. But I still hate this. And I will still, while I have breath, fight the stereotypes and the mean-spiritedness. Yes. The scene is a double-edged sword. Always has been. It can bring the greatest of joys, and it can break your heart to smithereens. I have experienced both ends of the spectrum and everything in between. But it changed my life. It brought me things I’d never had before. Including all of you. And I will never lose sight of that.

Meanwhile… next time I try to reason with the unreasonable, y’all know what to do. rolling eyes

On my mind

Been thinking lately about the effect words and phrases have to those of us in the kink persuasion. How certain terms can push all kinds of buttons — positive and negative. How a word or set of words can mean something to one person, and something altogether to another. Many of these have been discussed again and again and I’m not here right now to discuss the psychology of what turns whom on or off. Just thinking about a couple of terms I take exception with, and why.

I was emailing with a top last week, one I hope to meet up with when we can finally get our vaccinations and life can return. I made an offhand comment about how I was concerned that I’ve lost my tolerance, not having played now for over a year. He wrote back, “Nah, it’s like riding a bicycle. Once a pain slut, always a pain slut.”

I don’t have a problem with the word “slut” when it’s used in this sort of context. As long as it isn’t slut shaming, I’m okay with it. However, I don’t think I’m a pain slut.

I’m a spanking slut. When it comes to that specific fetish and everything around it, I am insatiable. But do I crave pain?

No. Not really.

Is “pain slut” synonymous with “masochist”? I don’t consider myself a masochist. Maybe others do, because within the realm of spanking play, I play hard. But even despite that, I have plenty of limits.

When examining the various posts/tweets/etc. of fellow spankos, I see so many other things being discussed, everything from nipple play to bastinado. Face slapping to leg caning. It seems that many people who share my fetish also have a taste for other flavors of pain.

I don’t. Honestly, I hate pain. I have no tolerance for it, except on my bottom. Somehow, pain inflicted on my butt is wired into my endorphins and sexual feelings. But it’s shocking how little pain I can take anywhere else. When I read about nipple torture, for example, I practically fold in on myself. I can’t even stand to have mine touched, let alone struck, pinched or clamped.

My kink, my fetish, my love of pain has a sharp and singular focus. How many others can say this? I wish I knew more people like me. So many things I can’t relate to. I wish I could, but I can’t. And then, of course, people aren’t comfortable discussing their own predilections with me, because they know I’m not relating.

Regarding the gentleman’s comment, I wrote back and explained my preferred term and why. He understood. He also said that he hoped I hadn’t inferred any desire on his part to cause me any pain over and above what I want, and then when we play, it will be safe, sane and consensual always. I appreciated that more than you can imagine… and in particular, I loved that he said when, not if.

Moving on — in 2018, I chose to retire from shooting spanking content. It was time, I thought, and I don’t regret it. I don’t think I ever publicized what led to that decision. It was a lot of things… but it boils down to an essential two.

One, I no longer enjoyed the way I looked on camera. I used to. But in the last couple of productions I watched, I saw changes in my body and my skin that I found unflattering. Simple as that. And if I wasn’t enjoying this anymore, there was no reason to do it. It had always been about fun and self-expression to me.

And two… I saw a hateful person refer to me still doing videos as “granny porn.”

I’d never heard or seen that term before. It made me sick. MILF and cougar are bad enough. But this term was so unflattering, so mean, it really shook me up. I instantly envisioned those awful cartoons of the old Playboy magazines, with the horny, predatory old woman and her saggy boobs.

I then learned that was a real term, a real thing, a genre within porn. I started seeing women using the term. And that made me even sicker.

It’s bad enough living in a world where women aren’t supposed to age. But when some of us buck the trend and exhibit our sexuality past society’s cutoff age, we shouldn’t have to tolerate such degrading terms. And we sure as hell shouldn’t be perpetuating them.

I saw a performer I have always admired use that term about her work, and I begged her to please, please, please don’t refer to her good work that way. She replied that it was a standard term in the industry and she saw no reason to sugarcoat it.

No, don’t sugarcoat it. How about fucking eliminating it?

I am proud of the fact that I started shooting spanking content at an age where most bottoms have retired, and that I continued it for 18 years. But I didn’t want to become a joke, an object of ridicule. And to me, the terminology around older women doing fetish film is degrading. We’re made to look like fools.

On Twitter, there’s a guy who does nothing but post spanking pictures from other people’s work and then captions them with insulting and embarrassing descriptions. “Fat MILF gets her ass spanked.” “Grandpa teaches a lesson.” One time, he posted a photo of me with Danny Chrighton… and captioned it, “Erica Scott plays with her son.” Really?? For fuck’s sake, Danny’s eleven years younger than I am. Is it really that outrageous? Men shoot with women one half to one third their age, but a woman can’t shoot with a man who is a few years younger without evoking that kind of ageist crap? I really didn’t want any more of that, and I could see the writing on the wall: it wasn’t going to go away. As time passed, it would only increase. The bad would outweigh the good. The compliments would dwindle while the mean-spirited critiques would escalate. Time to stop.

What’s my point? Women out there in the industry, particularly those of you who are no longer in your twenties and thirties — please don’t perpetuate this terminology. We can’t change society, but maybe we can change a few minds. Maybe if we don’t condone degrading terms, fewer people will use them. One can hope.

I’d love to hear what people think about either of these terms I’ve mentioned, even those who disagree. I miss spanko chats, truly I do. I feel like play and enjoying this thing I love is so tantalizingly within reach. Maybe another month or two? Fingers crossed.

A pet peeve about a pet peeve

What’s our pet peeve when it comes to scene pictures, kids? People who cut off the watermark of professional photos and repost them without providing any kind of credit for where they came from. This, of course, is rampant in the Tumblr blogs, on FetLife, and yes, even on Twitter.

But what really annoys the bejesus out of me? When people steal a photo, post it like it’s their own, and then make up some stupid, cheesy caption to go with it — one that has absolutely nothing to do with the original picture. They make up names, scenarios, etc. Really, do they think they’re fooling anyone? (sigh) I guess they are, when the viewers aren’t in the industry. But anyone who has even a passing familiarity with spanking videos knows when a picture is from a professional shoot.

Last week, one of my friends on FetLife alerted all of us to a Twitter poster whose entire feed was stolen pictures with cheeseball captions. She asked us all to tell him to knock it off and if he didn’t, to report him. So I went to look at this guy’s feed. Sure enough, nothing but pictures taken from various video productions, all with captions hashtagged #SpankingFamily. Scrolled down and voila! There I was, with Alex and Paul. So I commented to the guy, told him that if he wanted to make up scenarios, he should do it with his own damn pictures and stop stealing them. Several other people jumped on him as well. And then? Next time I checked, not only were the photos gone, but the guy’s page was gone too. Good riddance. If only all the others were that easily vanquished.

Those captions really irk me. I mean, for one thing, they’re usually corny to the point of being vomit-worthy. But also, it irks me that the poster thinks the viewers are that stupid.

I especially like some of the captions I’ve seen with stolen pictures of me. One read something along the lines of, “MILF Betty Sue thought she was too old for a spanking. She soon realized the error of her ways!”

Oh, go fuck yourself sideways with a 2 x 4.

My favorite was one from years ago, on FetLife. This guy had posted a picture of Sierra Salem from when she was living with Dallas, standing in front of the fireplace mantel with a bright red backside. Then the clown captioned it with something like, “Barbara learned that bad grades at school would earn her a dose of Daddy’s strap.” Oh, FFS…

I commented on the picture, “This is Sierra Salem, not Barbara. She’s not in school, and this is Dallas’s photo. I don’t think he’d appreciate you appropriating it.”

You’d think the guy would take it down, right? No… he comes back with this: “I know it’s Sierra. Her real name is Barbara and Dallas gave me special permission to spank her.”

Are you kidding me?? How stupid do you think I am, fool? I shot with Sierra. I traveled with her, sat next to her on long plane flights. I shared a hotel room with her. Do you really think I don’t know what her real name is? It ain’t Barbara.

So I did the only thing I could do — I wrote to Dallas and alerted him to the photo and its comments. You can bet that joker took it down after Dallas had a few words with him. :-Þ

Look, I know there are tons of photos floating around out there that have long since had their credits cut off and people who are new may see them and have no clue where they’re from, so they just repost them. That can’t be helped. But please, y’all. If you have any sort of idea where a picture is from, who is in it, etc., credit it properly. Do not cut the identifying watermarks off. And for the love of God, don’t make up those stupid captions. Here’s a thought — take your own freaking pictures, and then you can caption them any cornball way your little heart desires. Fair?

**rant over**

Post #1000!

As many of my long-time readers know, I started blogging on MySpace many years ago, and when they tanked, I switched over to Blogger in 2010. Since then, my combined posts on Blogger and then WordPress have reached a whopping one thousand. Can’t believe I had that much to say, and I’m still going at it.

What to write for #1000… I had some good suggestions, and thanks to everyone for those. I finally decided to do a tribute post to all the men I’ve worked with in video over the years. It will be a fun retrospective for me, and hopefully for you too.

So that there is no appearance of favoritism, I will post them alphabetically.

Danny Chrighton

It’s fitting that he is first, because not only did we shoot “When Danny Met Erica,” together, but we were play partners and the best of friend for three years, before he moved out of state. We’re still in touch periodically and I hope to see him at a party one of these days. He is dear to me, and I’m so glad I have our video as a souvenir of our time together.

“Coach” Daniels

“Coach” and his partner, Ms. Burns, AKA Veronica Daniels, worked for Real Spankings Institute, then branched off as The Spanking Couple. About ten years ago, they did a filmed interview with me, and Coach and I did a spanking/caning scene. He dubbed me “Great Scott,” which tickled me. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter they were both outed in the scene and all their material was taken down. But I still have the clip and pictures, and a fond memory.

Michael Donovan, AKA The Villain, AKA the Court Disciplinarian

When Spanking Court was filming (sadly, they are no longer), I was lucky enough to do a six-clip story arc with them. Michael and I were friends and occasional play partners then, so it was a joy to be able to work with him. We did a little video on our own as well, “The Villain Strikes Erica Scott,” which I now have in my Spanking Library clips. I had so much fun with him, and with everyone involved in SC.

Steve Fuller

Now retired, Steve was quite the shining star in the video world, working for several companies, and I had the extreme pleasure of being his very first co-star, in Shadow Lane‘s “The Spanking Professor.” I also worked with him for Spanking Epics, doing a couple of their “spanklets” and being part of an ensemble with him in the Being Keith Jones Trilogy. I really liked Steve and miss seeing him in videoland!

Keith Jones

What can I say about Keith — he was my very first co-star, back in 2000 for Shadow Lane, and we went on to do five full-length videos plus a spanklet for Spanking Epics together. Working with him was amazing and we had a lot of fun times, both shooting and playing at parties. He was the one who gave me the nickname “Bionic Bottom.” (It’s not so much anymore, but it was for years!) 🙂 Here I am gleefully pointing out where I’d nicked him after beaning him with a prop bottle. (Actually, I felt awful about that, but he was a good sport!)

Paul Kennedy

I love this man; he’s a good friend to John and me, and he’s the partner of my dear friend Alex Reynolds. I met him in 2009 at a Shadow Lane party, and have wanted to work with him for years. Finally got my chance when Pandora Blake came to L.A. and shot us in “The Workaholic” for Dreams of Spanking. It was a fun shoot, full of energy and snappy dialogue, and great spanking (hand, hairbrush, belt).

Ralph Marvell

Of all my co-stars, I’ve known Ralph the longest; we met in 1999, became friends, and shot “Spank Thy Neighbor” for Shadow Lane in 2001. We got a little frisky at the end of that video, and the first time I watched it was quite the experience, sitting between Ralph and John and blushing from head to toe. We’re still buddies to this day.

(Jesus, those granny panties… not of my choosing!)

Stephen Lewis

I shot two films for Northern Spanking with Stephen, and he was a blast. He was a wonderful sport, even when I was throwing his slipper at him or dumping M&M’s over his head, and he and I had crackling chemistry and repartee on screen. He had the ability to meet all my smart-assery with his own jabs, which made it all the more fun.

Devlin O’Neill

Devlin and I did one shoot together, Shadow Lane‘s “Stand Corrected,” and it was quite the memorable experience. We wrote the script, and we did a road trip together from L.A. to Vegas. Both of us had terrible colds, but we soldiered on, sucking down Sudafed and throat lozenges, and made it through a vigorous shoot. Devlin was a sweetie, and we had a lot of laughs during our long drive to and from Vegas. He even let me eat ice cream in his car, which he teasingly told me not to mention, because his littles at the time were not allowed to do so! (That was eleven years ago, so I think it’s OK to mention it now!)

John Osborne

The busy top of Triple AAA Spanking (and partner of Sarah Gregory), John and I have shot several videos, both for his site and for Sarah’s. John is a lot of fun to work with; he’s sweet and funny and I enjoy playing with him off camera too!

Paul Rogers

In 2010, I flew to Connecticut to shoot with Sarah Gregory and Paul, for both her site and his clip site Spanking 101. I was with them four days, shot a lot of content and had a marvelous time. Paul and Sarah treated me like a queen and we ended up with some great stuff. Paul is one hell of a spanker, too — I trashed his hand, but he trashed me pretty good too! (In the best possible way, of course.)

Uncle Bob

I shot a few clips for Uncle Bob’s Woodshed clip site a few years ago, including a fun one called “Sweet Revenge” in which I blistered Bob’s hand. 😀  Ah, I love it when that happens. I’ve known Bob for many years and it’s always fun to see him at parties.

Richard Windsor

Rich and I did a little bit of filming together: we shot a vignette for Pixie’s “Cause For Paws,” a quickie clip advertising my book back in 2011, and a two-part interview for Spanking Tube. Even though the experiences were brief, they were great fun.

Robert Wolf

Last but definitely not least, Robert (Lily Starr’s hubby) and I have shot several clips together for Lily Starr Spanking, including “The Devil Wears a Red Bottom,” “The Online Menace” (in which I blistered his hand as well), and one of my favorites, “The Secret Life of the Kinky Wife.” He’s a sweetie (as is his lovely wife!).

I do need to mention Amateur Spankings — I shot for them, but the spanker likes to stay off camera and I don’t know what name he uses publicly, so it’s best that I leave it at that. But it was fun and he’s a nice guy. 🙂

Honorable mention: There is one man I’ve always wished I could have shot with, and that’s Eric Strickman, AKA Uncle Eric. He and I have never met, but we used to IM a great deal and we even talked on the phone a couple of times (those of you who know me, know what a rarity that is). Why did I want to shoot with him? Just look at him!

I’ve been so very lucky, working with such talented men. They gave me more memorable experiences than I can count and brought me much delicious pain and even more delicious pleasure. Thank you all. ♥

That’s it for #1000. I don’t know if I have another thousand in me, kids, but as long as you want to keep reading, I’ll keep writing.

Have a great weekend, y’all.

Girls’ Night IN

Last night, Alex, SpankCake and I convened at SC’s house for dinner and catching up. It had been way too long! We ordered in from GrubHub, sat around in very comfy A/C and talked the hours away. What else do girls do when they have a night in? Do shots and have a pillow fight? Paint our toenails and do our hair? Please! That’s amateur stuff. We watched spanking porn. 😀

SC has a reallllllly big screen, as you can see. Neither she nor Alex had ever seen “When Danny Met Erica,” so we watched. I must confess, it was more than a little squirmy, watching my own private bits flashing and gaping on such a huge screen. Still, it was fun to share my favorite video with them. They both pronounced it “hot.” Damn, I miss you, Danny Chrighton.

We also watched the finished result of the custom film that Alex and several of us shot for her client back in February. I think it’s safe to say I’m never going to wear a pillbox hat or gloves for the rest of my natural life. But we all gave it our best and it had been so much fun. Props to everyone involved. And no, sorry, this will not go public!

And this lovely evening was on top of a visit from Steve earlier in the day. It was kind of a thrash-and-dash, as he had a doctor’s appointment and a lot of other things to do in preparation for a four-day hiking trip he’s taking. Blech! Better him than me! But it was still enough time to lay on some sting and leave me pleasantly glowing for the rest of my workday until I met up with my pals.

Today it is going to be 90 degrees. Sounds hot, but after Monday’s 112, I will take it. My A/C could not keep up with 112, but it can manage 90s. I may even brave the gym.

Oh, and happy #NoPantyDay! That’s a thing, in case you didn’t know… June 22.

More photo no-nos

I’m on a roll here, kids. Since I critiqued unfortunate butt shots earlier, now I’m moving on to another potential photo disaster — the awkward screen grab face.

A little photo 101: When producers shoot videos, they of course will want stills to post on their sites, on FetLife, Tumblr, etc. to advertise their work. There are two ways to attain photos — one, you shoot stills between/after the video scenes, and two, you get “screen grabs” from the videos. With a variety of software available — some of it free — one can play a video, freeze the action, and capture what’s on the screen as a still shot.

There are advantages to both methods. Obviously, a still shot is more posed and perfect and the participants can tweak it to achieve the right look. But there is an immediacy and authenticity to screen grabs, capturing the action in ways that a posed shot simply can’t.

HOWEVER: screen grabs also capture the people mid-sentence, mid-grimace, mid-scream, whatever. And the face can be frozen into something that looks utterly ridiculous. When taking screen grabs, the grabber should consider all aspects of the photo — the position, the action, and yes, the facial expression. But alas, oftentimes the latter is ignored, as evidenced by the plethora of screen grabs I found of Yours Truly out there.

Yup, this time, I’m featuring my own self in the Bad Picture Examples. Enjoy.

My first example is a comparison between a good screen grab and a bad one. This is from the DVD box of Spanking Epics’ “Trouble in Carson’s Gap,” with Keith Jones:

You can tell this is a screen grab, not a posed shot — my hair is messed up, I’m not looking at the camera, but it has a wonderful sense of immediacy. However, in yesterday’s search, I found this little gem. Same scene.

What the hell? I look stoned!  Who looked at this and thought it was a good screen grab?

While we’re on Spanking Epics, here’s a shot from “The Reckoning.” Keith looks fine. But what the hell am I doing?? Neck exercises?

This next one made it very clear to me that someone is out there trying to make me look stupid. Here’s a grab of me, with Devlin O’Neill, in Shadow Lane’s “Stand Corrected.” WTF is this face about? (sorry, lousy picture quality, but even a good resolution couldn’t save this)

Who put this up, dammit??? I look like a chicken trying to lay a square egg.

And finally, a comparison between a well-taken still and a poor screen grab. This is one of my favorite photos from Pandora Blake’s Dreams of Spanking, “The Workaholic,” with Paul Kennedy:

If I do say so myself, how perfect is this? I’ve got my classic “righteous indignation” face on, Paul is giving me a deliciously toppy scowl, the hairbrush is in action, our body positioning is spot on. This picture makes me happy.

But then, there’s this floating around out there — why, I don’t know:

Why? WHY? Instead of looking pained and furious, I look like I was just force-fed cottage cheese. At least this one is an equal opportunity insult, since Paul looks kinda goofy too. 😀

What’s the message here? Please, people — producers, videographers, amateurs who love screen captures — choose your end product wisely. A piece of footage will have literally hundreds of screens you can grab as a still. Make the extra effort to freeze the shots where everyone looks good… rather than making us look stunned, stoned, stuporous, or like mouth-breathing morons. OK? Sheesh.

Have a great weekend, y’all.