Reflections on 2013
The blogosphere has been sort of Holiday Lite lately. I’m having a quiet New Year’s Eve Day; was supposed to see Steve, but the poor man finally succumbed to the stomach flu his son brought home on his holiday visit. Blech. Rotten timing. So I figured I’d take the created gap of free time and reflect a bit on the past year, quickly scanning over the last 12 months of blogs. Pardon me while I ramble.
On the down side, there were a lot of tears. Such is the mercurial life of a depressive. There was a great deal of worry about John and his health issues. There were ups and downs with Steve. There was the usual host of money/job worries, hurts and disappointments, insecurities and doubts.
But on the plus side, there were many fun times too. John and I went to two wonderful scene parties (50 Freaks and Shadow Lane). I got to shoot three times, and I published another book. Made some new friends. Wrote a lot of thought-provoking posts, here and on FetLife, and even made it to the #1 spot on Kinky & Popular with one of them. John and I had a terrible scare with a potential blackmailer, but we seem to have dodged that and we’re very relieved and grateful. And I now know that Steve is here to stay. He’s proven to me that I’m not just some temporary stopgap until his Ms. Right comes along. I may not be his girlfriend, but I still matter. I am not dispensable.
I still vacillate, wondering what my place is in the scene, in the blogosphere, in the general scheme of all things kink-wise. A few months ago, the good folks at Cane-iac started putting out a newsletter, and they asked if I’d like to have a regular feature in it. I was delighted to be asked, and we decided to make it an open-ended thing, calling it “Ask Erica.” Readers were invited to send in a question for me, and for each newsletter issue, I’d choose one and answer it. Those whose questions were selected would get a discount on the order of their choice.
Well. The first issue, we got five or six questions. The second, just a couple of CHoS-worthy queries, so I answered another question from the first batch. And the third issue, nothing.
They asked me if I’d like to change the column to “Erica’s Corner” and simply write about whatever I thought people would want to read. It was very sweet of them, but I didn’t want to beat a dead horse. Clearly, people out there had run out of questions to ask me. I’d answered them all. And if they want to read my writing, that’s what this blog is for. I didn’t need to take up space on Cane-iac’s newsletter.
So yeah, sometimes I wonder. I think about Bonnie, who just announced her retirement from blogging, much to our great sadness. She will be missed, but she felt it was her time, that all her best posts had already been written. I wonder if it’s the same thing with me, if I should retire too.
But you know what? I don’t want to. I love writing. I love blogging. I love sharing my thoughts and feelings, and getting feedback on them. There will always be something fresh and new to say. And there will always be new readers who haven’t heard it all before.
There will be play, there will be parties, there will be fun spanky thoughts, ready to unfold and experience. I’m not ready to say goodbye to any of it. Looks like y’all are stuck with me, for better or worse, for a while.
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, as you know. I simply try to look forward and keep myself open and ready for what’s to come.
John’s heart surgery is on hold indefinitely, since (knock wood) it’s not an urgent need and he’s managing to keep himself functioning with diet and exercise, and keeping his weight down. For now, his plan is to 1) get the rest of his dental work done (he had a bad tooth pulled, and now that that’s healed, he needs to get a post and crown), and 2) deal with his sleep apnea, which was recently diagnosed. We thought his chronic exhaustion was due to his heart, but it turns out that the quality of his sleep is very poor. So he’s currently exploring which will be a better solution: a CPAP unit or a dental device.
I hope to find more work next year. But in the meantime, I’m hanging in there. And say what you want about Obamacare, but thanks to the new laws, I was able to switch to another plan that’s a little cheaper. Now instead of insanely exorbitant, it’s merely too expensive. 🙂 I could have gone even cheaper, but then I’d have high deductibles, and I don’t want those. This new plan has no deductibles. And I’ve gone from $1205 a month to $782.
Speaking of shoots, the little quickie clip I shot for Amateur Spankings is up on their site. This photo cracks me up; I guess it was taken during the portion when Gary was scolding us off-camera for blowing off our scheduled session. I’ve got my “Who, me???” righteous indignation face on.
And finally, since I’m randomly blathering about things that make me happy, I received a certificate from the Writers Guild of America, on my father’s behalf. They recently chose a list of the 101 best written TV series in the past seven decades, and The Carol Burnett Show was #37. For the sake of discretion, I covered up his name and replaced it with “My Father” in this photo scan. But I just had to share it, since I’m so very proud.
It looks much prettier than this in reality; the border and the logo are in gold. I need to find a nice frame.
John is working today, but later, after he comes home, I’ll go over there after I pick up some food for our dinner. We’ll watch a movie, see the ball come down, toast each other with champagne at midnight. I look forward to it. And along with being with my love, I will silently toast my top Steve as well, looking forward to another year of play and wonderful connection.
So, happy 2014 to my friends, loved ones, readers, commenters, lurkers. I hope the new year brings you joy and peace. ♥
Here's to a more financially stable, continued good health in 2014 for you , myself and others who matter.
I questioned my place in the scene and came back to square one. I am only vested in those who care about me as much as I do them. I don't want to expand my circle of scene friends. I already have quality friendships in place. It takes too much time and energy for me to maintain shallow friendships, especially on Fetlife.
Alexis — my wish for you is a wonderful new job, so you can get out of Office Hell!
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most spankable beauty of them all. I say ERICA SCOTT. Who hits my NUMBER ONE SPOT. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014. ERICA. Congratulations Erica, on your dearly beloved Father, winning the Writers Guild of America West Award. As I can see by your wonderful blog, some samples of his DNA writings must have rubbed off him onto you. XXX Luv ya.
Six — that is the highest and dearest compliment that anyone can give me, so thank you. 🙂
I think you are wonderful. I check here all the time. You write so well that I feel I know you, and I like you very much. I hope you keep going and going.
Happy New Year.
Erica, in addition to you loving to do the writing, there is me loving to read it. So yes, please continue! Thank you for sharing your musings, views, feelings, comments in this delightful, insightful Erica mode .
May proudly framing and fixing the award be your first good deed in 2014.
And be well, with John, Steve, us – and yourself.
Erica, I enjoyed your column in the Cane-iac newsletter and was looking forward to the next issue. Sorry no one has any questions for you. But really, if they do, why not just ask them here.
I'm glad you are going to continue blogging. I wouldn't want to lose another dear friend so soon after Bonnie, even though I suppose that time has to come eventually for each of us.
All the best in 2014!
Lovely post. Just chiming in to say that I have serious sleep apnea and have used both the CPAP machine and the dental device. I hated the machine. Couldn't tolerate it, felt like I slept WORSE because I had to sleep on my back and the mask is uncomfortable, plus it weighs something like 25 pounds, which makes it a pain to cart around.
However, the dental device is great. Expensive, but great. My sleep quality improved almost immediately. It's easy to care for, easy to transport, and I get actual good sleep now. As you probably know, sleep apnea puts serious strain on the heart. When he finishes his dental work, look into the dental device. The only problem with it is that if your bite or teeth change (extractions, etc.) then you have to get a new one. But so far it's my clear winner.
Happy New Year!
Your role? You're a bright star in a brilliant galaxy. Shine on, dear friend. Shine on.
Bonnie (definitely not dead)
Very happy to be “stuck” with you, Erica. Hope you keep blogging for many years to come. Cheers!
Happy you are continuing to blog. Couldn't loose another of our friends.
Happy New Year.
Have a great 2014. Congratulations to your Dad.
I concur with Sixofthebest. You do have your father's gift and the certificate is a wonderful tribute to him. I do hope you stay here for a long time because you have been a huge help to more of us than you even think. I am glad to call you My Friend. May we all have a good year.
As I stumble out of bed from the flu to greet in the New Year, I too am reflecting on my 2013 with you. Yes, I'm here to stay and you are NOT dispensable. Consider yourself stuck with me. Yes, you must keep on blogging. There would be too much of a void in the blogosphere without you. John will be fine in the end, although you two will have to go through the journey to get there. I won't close out the year commenting on anything about ObamaCare-less. I am sending you warm thoughts about the posthumous 37th out of 100 ranking of “My Father” for his incredible work. May you, and I together, enjoy the fruits of our wonderful union as Top and Bottom in the New Year.
Mark — that's very sweet! Thank you. 🙂
MrJ — I will do my best, I promise.
Hermione — it's so good of you to carry on some of Bonnie's beloved traditions! You are another solid rock in our structure. ♥
Colleen — very good to know! It's funny; we've gotten several rave reviews about the CPAP, but John is still leaning toward the device, even though it's pricey. So much more convenient. Plus, he doesn't sleep on his back either (and neither do I).
Bonnie — ah, I love you. 🙂
Anonymous — I will as long as people want to read me. 🙂
Ronnie — yeah, that was a pretty stunning loss, huh? (sigh) But I admire her for knowing when it was the right time for her.
Prefectdt — it's good to know his work is still remembered and appreciated.
Bobbie Jo — yes, I think we all could use one. Thank you.
Steve — get well soon, dear. I can't wait until our first scene of 2014. 🙂
Hi Erica — CONGRATS to your beloved Dad for his WONDERFUL award 🙂 You are VERY talented just like him.Wishing you and John the BEST for 2014 🙂 I can't wait to read about you and Steve's first scene of the year.I hope 2014 is a better year for me,because 2013 SUCKED for me 😦 Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade
Jade — thank you, dear. I hope it will be better too.
Wishing you and john a wonderful new year, Erica!
Sarah — and the same to you guys! 🙂
I can absolutely relate to your thoughts about retiring from blogging, Erica. Ludwig definitely wants to quit blogging one day and I might as well. But right now I don't feel ready to retire (,yet?).
I look forward to reading more from you! Wishing you and your loved ones a Happy New Year and all the best for 2014. 🙂
Kaelah — thank you! It's not easy sometimes — I want to remain fresh and relevant and interesting. I suppose I should just let it flow as it does.
Nobody left to ask questions or want to read about your adventures? *Ahem* What are we, chopped liver? 😉 I hope your 2013 had more ups than downs and that your 2014 will turn out great.
Lea — well, ya know. When the Cane-iac column tanked, I wondered. 🙂 Insecurity and all that neurotic nonsense.