Correspondence Hall of Shame, 8/6
I swear, these guys are more relentless than Covid. No, they won’t kill anyone, but some of them sure do make me sick.
This first one isn’t the usual CHoS entry, but I figured it was worth a mention. A while back, I got a message on FetLife from a local man, saying he hoped we could connect. I didn’t like his FL name — I won’t post it, because I’ve always sworn I wouldn’t identify these people and I won’t start now, but suffice it to say it sounded like he thinks women exist to be receptacles for his bodily emissions. Anyway, I went to take a peek at his profile.
Ye gods.
He specializes in humiliation, degradation, objectification, “squirtology” and “bimbofication.” He “provides asshole stretching upon request.” PAWGs automatically go to the front of the line. (Do you need to Google it? Don’t bother. Phat Ass White Girls.) And he belongs to a long list of awful sounding groups; here are just some of the Cs:
Clit Discipline
Clit Enlargement
Clit Spanking
Clit Torture
Clit Worship
CPT (Clit and Pussy Torture) — The female version of CBT
And don’t even get me started on his pictures. Yeah, I don’t think so. I didn’t reply to him. And normally, that would be the end of it. Except last week, I got this:
hi again
i am still hoping to connect with you
(Why??)
I didn’t want to hear from him yet again, so I sent back three words:
No, thank you
Nothing wrong with that, right? Clear and to the point. Polite.
And then I got this:
oh dear did i just crash and burn on take-off?
thanks for letting me know.
i’ll just wait for the fire crew to get here
Really? Really?? Am I seriously getting butt-hurt, passive-aggressive indignation from this clown with his House O’ Filth profile? Hey, buddy… maybe you should stretch your own asshole. Then you could pull your head out of it.
Moving on…
Iwould love to enjoy spanking you, but with no sex at all I dont see why I would
Um… okay. And you bothered writing this to me because?
Will u be my little anal slut 😉
No.
You are write hun. OTK is the best. One ca play with all of a woman parts and drive her nuts and have her pussy dripping wet when it’s checked here and there. I like to do that every time to a woman. you can finger her every now and then teasing her. This is what I do.
Do you have a point, hun? No? Then I’m going to add you to my CHoS and delete your ass. This is what I do.
My idea of playing with you would be to get you very wet, keeping you soaked and even during a spanking sliding a few fingers or tongue down to flick the bean and make you cum
Flick the bean? Is that anything like flick the Bic? And for the quazillionth time — what part of “I’m not seeking sex” was unclear?
And finally… get your Advil ready for this one. I redacted the personal information.
hello i am a 62 year old Dominant Master/man from [city/state] i am a sex addict and love to spend hours with a warm and horny woman just making each other feel good i live alone in a older home in a small city i work 6 days a week for about another five years i love the outdoors i have a large yard i am also a smoker and not just tobacco my email is [whocares] ido have hangouts i do seek a ltr and would love to see if you could be it now i must add this to save time i wont send money dont waste your time if that is what you are after sorry i can send a plane ticket to me if we click
(clutching head) Is a side effect of too much weed making a person forget how to use punctuation? Let me get this straight: I’m supposed to get on a plane to Bumfuck, Egypt in order to meet a semi-literate stoner sex addict? No, pal, I don’t want your money. I want spanking. Which you didn’t mention even once. So I ask yet again… did you read my damn profile??
(sigh) I need to get back to work now and see if I can regenerate all the brain cells that died reading this crap. Have a great weekend, y’all. Please be safe. ♥
Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking 
Going back about 16 years or so ago, prior to meeting Rosa, I met a few people for play fun that I met through online sites. Two were submissive and one was Dominant. I never had a negative issue with any of them and we all connected to the degree we wanted. Respecting boundaries and limits was never an issue. I get that there are people who are into all kinds of things and some are looking to play and some are looking for relationships. I get it.
But if someone clearly says, “spanking, no sex, no long term relationship”, how hard is that to comply with IF you are also of a mind to play? Hell I’m primarily submissive but I do (did) a pretty decent job of Topping because I just get into the role and let my imagination and the vibes from the other person, kind of set the tone.
To me this was simplicity itself. I just don’t get people who feel the need to force their issue. I think it’s probably because they are NOT getting what they are after, despite all their claims of experience. The first guy seems to have a volume of credentials but what? He’s pursuing a “no sex/spanking only” person? Why? Unless his ‘door’ is in reality not being beaten down by hordes of eager “torture my clit, please” ladies.
Even now with the other people I play with, the “parameters” are very mutually set and honored and we are all STILL having a great time……even IF my wheelhouse can contain things outside of what others might prefer. Jeez.
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KD — it has baffled me for years. It’s not just the rudeness or illiteracy of the messages. It’s the question, why are they contacting me in the first place, when I’m very clearly not what they want? In every kink profile I’ve ever had, I thoroughly spell out what I seek and what I don’t, no ambiguity. Oh, and Mr. Clit, on a site where people usually have anywhere from dozens to hundreds to even thousands of friends, has a whopping two. Guess that tells us something.
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I must laud you, Erica, for the strength of your resolve in not succumbing to the “charms” of such silver-tongued devils as some of those you encounter on FetLife. I mean what girl’s heart doesn’t beat faster at the thought of a good “asshole stretching” or an offer to have her “bean” flicked! Thank you for another rib-tickling installment of your Correspondence Hall of Shame. It’s always been one of my favorites.
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Bob — (grinning) I knew you’d show up sooner or later! If nothing else, this dreck is entertaining.
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Erica, do you ever wonder, “Whom did I piss-off to regularly get bombarded by these morons?”
Happy anniversary to you and John 💕 I hope SL works out for you. We all deserve some fun after what we’ve gone through 😀
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bklynny — yes, indeed we do.
I dunno — I seem to piss people off on a semi-regular basis, so I stopped wondering!
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“Flick the bean.” You know. It’s what you do when you accidentally drop a pinto on the counter when you’re making a burrito. Right into the sink.
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Craig — (snort) I’d like to flick HIS bean right into the sink.
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