To Bare or Not to Bare: Boobs, That is
This one is geared toward female bottoms, as you could probably tell by the title. But tops are welcome to chime in about their preferences as well. I know I’ve talked about this subject before, but it’s been a long time and I think it’s worth revisiting.
Thanks to Hermione’s Spanko Brunch post, I joined Spanking Needs last week. So far, I am liking it. It seems to be well managed, reasonably simple to navigate, and people have been nice and welcoming so far. I’ve gotten several messages, and all have been respectful.
One local man and I exchanged several messages, and were getting very close to making a coffee date. Then he said that he’d noticed, in all the video snippets he’d watched of me, that I always kept my upper half clothed. Was there a reason for that? Modesty?
This is true. With a single exception, I have not bared my breasts in any of my videos, not in eighteen years. Oftentimes I was down to lingerie, but I always kept the bra on.
I wrote back and told him my personal opinion — that unless the video is depicting husband/wife or lovers, full nudity seems gratuitous to me. After all, he’s not spanking my boobs. The focus is on my butt.
He then said that he has spanked nipples (shudder), but admitted that’s more BDSM-oriented. Then he confessed that he enjoys watching a woman’s breasts sway and bounce while she’s over his knee. Said he would never force that on anyone, though. (But yeah, clearly, that’s what he’d prefer, right? Why even bring it up otherwise?)
Crap.
I’m not a prude. I’m not ashamed of my body. There is nothing wrong with my breasts. They’re small. They’re still perky. I have posted naked pictures of myself on FetLife. Although that one time I posted what I thought was a sultry bare-breasted picture, some idiot’s comment was “You should smile.” Really? That’s what you’re focusing on?? I took that one down.
I have played unclothed with close play partners. My former top of 4+ years used to strip me naked outdoors in broad daylight, for heaven’s sake. (And I have the pictures to prove it.) Another one tied me down naked to my coffee table. But I knew these men very well. However, casual play with friends? Party scenes? With the exception of the occasional full-body flogging, I keep my top on.
I suppose stripping a female bottom fully nude adds to the embarrassment/vulnerability, and people like that, or love to hate it. But I just don’t care for it.
I am curious — granted, I know a lot of my readers are married and play with their husbands only, so of course y’all play naked. But for those who play more casually, who engage in party play, play with groups of friends, etc., how do you feel about full nudity while being spanked? Do you feel like that fits well into your scene dynamics/fantasies? Or does it make you feel uncomfortable?
And a side note: No matter what my state of undress is, I think it’s hottest when the top remains fully clothed. Any thoughts on that?
Back to the man on SN for a moment. I replied that he might be disappointed with me, if this is what he enjoyed doing, so perhaps we should reconsidering meeting. Much to my surprise, he wrote back, saying yes, he enjoys it, but it’s hardly a deal-breaker. That he’s a spanko, and enjoys spanking woman of all types and in all stages of dress. And that having coffee with me would be an honor.
Well. That’s nice. ♥ We’ll see what happens next week.
So, let me hear from you: Boobs or no boobs? Have a great weekend, y’all.
Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking 
I mean, I like boobs as much as the next person, but I have never seen the need for them to be bared in a scene. Then again I do not participate in ‘sexy’ spankings which would make bare breasts needed.
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I agree, it makes me uncomfortable. It can be hot with someone close, but even then I’m a little embarrassed, and humiliation isn’t really my thing. Exhibitionism kind of is, but I think it’s more about hangups about my body for me. No shame if humiliation is someone else’s thing, and I know it is! Lol, just realized the ironic humor in “there’s no shame in enjoying humiliation!” 🤭 Anyway.
IIRC (have made hundreds of clips and could be forgetting something), I’ve only shown them on film three (maybe four or five if counting old self spanking clips?) times, and all but one of those were not even fully nude, they had support and were just pulled out of my blouse/bra. The one time I was actually completely topless was only because a custom client was willing to pay enough for me to put my discomfort aside.
I am pretty sure I never took my top off at a party, though I didn’t mind watching when other girls did. ☺️ I do agree that a male spanker being fully clothed is the hottest. Especially if he’s wearing a suit. 🔥🔥🔥😍🥰
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FF — whole different kinda scene, certainly. To each their own.
Lily — oh good gawd, yes, a man in a suit. swooooooooon
Remember the Midnight Floggings they did at earlier parties? I didn’t mind taking my top off for those, because I was face down on a bed anyway. But as soon as I got back up, I’d put something on immediately. Not sure why… just the way I am. But for strictly spanking, I don’t know why boobs have to enter the picture.
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Yup. I usually didn’t even participate in those, because I didn’t want to be that exposed. Can’t remember if I ever did one, but I don’t think so. Always wanted to, and in hindsight, should have, sigh. I did do that type of play at times, but usually over clothes, maybe in bra once or twice, which in itself was huge for me, because I’m more self conscious about my tummy than my breasts. Being face down on a bed definitely helps feel less exposed.
It’s definitely body issues for me, which is sad and dumb, but a product of a society that constantly sends women (everyone, but especially women) messages that our bodies aren’t good enough, and are even repulsive if not perfect by some arbitrary standard. It’s definitely not necessary for a strictly spanking scene, especially if domestic style. That type of scene is hottest when NOT overtly sexual. Paradoxical, but I think true for most spankos who enjoy DD or funishment type play.
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I’m coming from the male/top side of the experience. For “pure” spanking scenes, it doesn’t really matter to me. I usually leave it up to the person who is bottoming. Some ladies strip to a bra, some go bare chested, some leave their dress on. It’s all good from my point of view. I’m usually behind them anyway, so don’t see much of their front.
The only time it matters to me is if we’re doing more of a BDSM scene. If I’m going to be doing something with her breasts (wax, flogging, clamps) then clearly we need to bare her chest.
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I’m with Erica on this: I concentrate on the behind; the boobs are nice to look at in the dress/top/camisole/bra/whatever but are not really part of a domestic-type spanking scene unless the young lady involved wants them to be.
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Ben — of course. If the girls are directly involved in the scene, then the girls must be exposed. grinning
MR — thanks for coming and weighing in!
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I like breasts as much as any guy would but it doesn’t really matter if they are bare during spankings.
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I think that pictures of clothed spankees with bared bottoms are hot! Naked spankees, not so much. I don’t want to see boobs, and my preference for being spanked is bare below the waist.
I’m glad this wasn’t a deal-breaker for your new possible top.
Hugs,
Hermione
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Well as a man (behold, a man to give us his manly opinion!) I certainly appreciate the boobs, but personally I’m not a fan of getting them out for spanking as it muddies the waters a little for me.
Full naked spankings are fantastic when it’s foreplay for sex (and something I enjoy a lot), but “proper” spanking for me is more about the dynamic and almost feasible scenarios. A fully dressed woman who has had her clothing from the waist down yanked away for a spanking builds the scenario in my head of a spontaneous event or a genuine consequence of something that wasn’t planned. The smart office clothes that are now dishevelled are so much hotter than the contrived naked scenario. And I agree that being fully clothed as a spanker is so much better for the feasibility side and works for me. The top (male or female) should look like they are in a believable position to be giving a spanking.
I hated when the RealSpankings studios would do “bare breasted punishment” because it took the domestic/institutional feel away and replaced it with something that felt (to me) a bit creepy. It was a layer that crossed into the more BDSM side of kink and left me cold.
That said, I’m all for boobs if they escape naturally (a bizarre sentence to write). A loose fitting nightdress or summer dress being compromised during a struggling otk keeps the realism in the scenario for me. And I must admit to enjoying spanking my partner otk once when she had got out of the shower in a towel. “Unwrapping” her while she was over my knee for a fully naked spanking certainly worked for us 😬, and in my headspace there was a good reason for her to be naked so it didn’t cross the spanking/sex line in a clumsy way.
But overall, I’m with you. Less is more when it comes to the kind of spankings I like to watch and give. In fact, in many cases I actually prefer to spank over panties than a bare bottom, but that’s another topic 🤫
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As far as my appreciation for the female form goes, I’ve always been a derriere dude and not a boobs guy. And I agree with Hermione’s sentiment that, “I think that pictures of clothed spankees with bared bottoms are hot!” My own preference in a play spanking scenario trends more toward the disciplinary end of the spectrum, and I think a spankee’s bare bottom exposed while the rest of her clothes remain in place adds to the “authenticity” of a disciplinary spanking scene.
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Chibob — I figured that might be the typical answer. But was curious.
Hermione — I’m with you. We’ll see how it goes… haven’t even met him yet.
J — thank you for this detailed reply! I appreciate the various takes and exceptions. Yes, it’s way hotter (I think) when it’s an accidental reveal. Another guy described a scenario of a bottom acting up in the bathtub and being hauled out for a spanking wet and nude — that too would be a hot exception. Interesting about preferring leaving panties on — it certainly takes all kinds in this scene of ours.
Bob — agreed. When it’s a disciplinary scene (or pretend disciplinary), I honestly don’t see the point of bare breasts. But of course, if you’re going to do more afterward, then have at it.
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I have no relevant experience to share on this question, but it feels weird to bring up this seemingly tangential question so early in the dialog.
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My preference is to see a spankee over the knee of her top, with her bare feet
clearly displayed in all their glory, flexing and waving during the spanking. I have a
full-bore foot fetish in addition to being a spanko, so seeing someone topless
is not appealing at all – – (to me) – – In some ways we are all the same, and in other
ways we are completely different. It’s a big tent, so there’s room enough for all
tastes!
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Bonnie — yeah, that gave me pause too. But we’re all so different, even within the same kink. It’s a wonder we ever find compatible people, sometimes!
Anonymous — I know a few spanko/foot festishists! I’d rather show my feet than my breasts, certainly.
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I agree with Bob from Wisconsin, and prefer delivering true feeling otk spankings, so I dislike upper body nudity at that time. It tends to distract from the action. I want to focus on kicking legs, on the spanking squirming, and on the reddening behind..and nothing else
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Bob — I guess I balk a little at the word “true,” only because everyone’s take on TTWD we do is true in their own way. But I get what you’re saying.
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I mean, as a guy, yes boobies please.
But as a spanko, the baring of breasts can have a meaningful impact on a scene.
One of the elements of the appeal of a spanking is the embarrassment at baring your bottom, and the vulnerability of placing one’s bare bottom into the care of the spanker. One way to enhance this embarrassment and vulnerability is to have her spread her legs during a spanking. It’s a nice visual too, but ostensibly it’s so one can spank the tender and sensitive parts of the bottom, as well as enhancing her sense of vulnerability and embarrassment, right?
Apart from that, probably the next best way to enhance embarrassment and vulnerability is to bare her breasts. This is even more so (and more appealing to me, because I’m a degenerate pervert) with someone who (like you, Erica) is reluctant to bare her breasts.
Some more perspective… OTK is by far my favorite spanking position. Bare breasts don’t really enhance anything in that position. My next favorites, though, are either bent over in front of a mirror or legs up (I hate the term diaper position). I like these because you can see the spankees face. And bare breasts greatly enhance the visual appeal in both of these positions. Not only is the spankee even more vulnerable, but there is an absolute delight is seeing the breasts wobble to and fro with each impact.
I hope you’re able to play with this guy, and I hope that in subsequent meetings, you allow yourself to become more vulnerable and bare your breasts for him. Maybe just do it because you like him and you know it will make him happy.
Just my perspective. Glad you’re still blogging.
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Jason — I guess I’m just not into embarrassment. I mean, a little of that is a given, considering what we’re doing. But I won’t do the legs up position for anyone. And unless I know and trust my top very, very well, my legs remain closed. He’s my top, not my proctologist.
I can be deeply vulnerable with someone I trust. But vulnerability is something I choose. Embarrassment is something imposed upon me. That’s the difference, for me.
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I think top on adds a nice emphasis to bottom bared. It is hot in its own way.
That is true if it is a nice sexy top, but the emphasis is even more noticeable if it is street cloths partly removed.
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Mark — agreed!
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I guess to qualify for participatory eligibility on this one I’ll have to put my Top hat on (pun intended).
For play scenarios I really don’t care what a woman prefers as her comfort zone of exposure. I’m fine with whatever she is. For photos? I do like nudity…..because even when it’s not about photos, I still like nudity. Nudity rocks.
“Preference” differences among women are quite interesting. As a male supporter of the “Free the Nipple” movement, and as a former Biology major, I see nothing but social more as the source for modesty in this question. And let’s not say “breasts” because, let’s face it……women and women’s fashion show great bulging chunks of ‘breast’ routinely and intentionally. Bare cleavage and decolletage is a fashion mainstay and that’s all ‘breast meat’. LOL No, it’s those pesky, and hopefully perky, nipples that raise all the ruckus. The only reason men can show their nipples and women can’t in about 42 States (6 allow it) is White social tradition……..and likely a good chunk of chauvinism to go along with it. Morphologically there is little to no difference between a male or female nipple, and yet one is OK and the other a thing to be hidden. Kinda funny when you think about it.
So many countries and cultures attach no shame to bare breasts, or in many cases, to nudity in general.
Taking my Top hat off for a moment, (and btw I do actually own two top hats) my own experience with nudity preferences for ME have amused me as well. Naturally with my wife, nudity makes sense, but I find it amusing that one of the conditions for my adventures with our good friend Nickki, is that I wear an apron or smock to shield my front from view. I have no problem with this caveat, but I secretly roll my eyes at the practical illogic of it. As a guy, once over her lap she can easily see quite a bit of what one would assume would still be modesty areas……..and yet….this is all just ducky.
I remember an example in sociology 101 of modern women who won’t answer their doors without a robe even if her PJs are something a Granny would wear, and yet those same ladies will cheerfully stroll a shoreline later that day in a thong and micro top.
Another good one is something I saw in a documentary on this topic. There is a tribe (I don’t recall the name) I believe in South America where males and females wear NOTHING but a thin string tied around their waists. This string doesn’t do shit to cover ANYTHING. And yet, according to the researcher, these folks would be mortified if someone caught them without their string on! True story and a perfect example of the arbitrary nature of modesty.
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KD — that IS kinda funny that you have to cover up your front, and yet all is visible once you assume the position. Ah, people and their rationales.
My beloved will often comment about how a woman can wear the skimpiest of bikinis on the beach, but if she were to wear the same thing on a public street, she’d probably be arrested. What’s the logic in that?
And you’re right — it’s not really the breasts, it’s the nips. Which is probably why I am okay to play in scanty lingerie but not naked. Kinda silly, when you think about it. But it’s sort of (dare I say) spanko purist sort of thing. (Please, people, no Hitler references. I don’t mean it that way.) Many spankos are all about the butt.
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The level of dress is always up to the lady /girl/woman who is on the receiving end of the spanking . When there is to much nudity to me it detracts from the purpose of the task at hand . A well deserved spanking is what I am going to give , on the bare bottom. The rest of the body covered to me that is much sexier and allows the imagination to play in the scene as well . I have always enjoyed your scenes for that very reason my dear.
Paddle Daddy
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PD — thank you; I’m glad you enjoyed them.
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If my partner is willing, I prefer her to become progressively more naked as the spanking progresses. I like her to start out across my knee fully dressed but after a while I like her pants to come down (or her dress to go up). If we go beyond a hand spanking, I like her bottomless and bent over to begin but I like to have her completely naked following a change of position and/or implement regardless of whether we are in a sexual relationship or not. For me, nudity reinforces her submission and that is important to me. But I do agree with a previous writer that a topless spanking simply doesn’t make any sense to me.
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Cam — understandable. I get the increased submission part. If both partners like this, then certainly no problem. I’m more disturbed by tops who want it in all cases, regardless of the partner or the situation.
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Very few of my spankings are spontaneous. They are usually planned in advance and, depending on my partner, I often enjoy creating the scene with her as much as I enjoy acting it out. I had one partner who lived some distance away and we would only get together every few weeks. She knew how to tease and she did it well. We created our sessions on the phone and in the days before our get together she would send a card or leave voice messages about what she would be wearing or what we would do. She usually had me climbing the walls before one of our weekend meetings. For our most memorable get together we rented a cottage on an island in a lake north of Toronto. We found an old post that we could use as a whipping post and the next day I lead her topless to the post, tied her arms-over-head and gave her a public flogging. Public in the sense that it was outdoors. That’s one of my few experiences with a whip and it’s deeply ingrained in my memory. She eventually moved to take a new job and we lost touch. I had better stop here because this is already longer than I had intended.
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Always respect the choice of the partner in my book! Personally prefer naked for everyone involved but relationship trust is vital.
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Joseph — I would say that is THE answer.
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