Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Sunday blather

Hope everyone had a nice weekend.

John had his own theory about my Jekyll/Hyde correspondent last week. He said the reason why the guy was nice at first, and then changed so drastically, was because he had no intention of meeting with me. That first photo he sent me, of Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome with the shampoo-commercial hair? Fake. He’s really a 300-pound toad. (that probably wasn’t his real dick, either, but that’s beside the point.) Apparently he gets his jollies by engaging with women and messing with their heads, without having to actually meet them.

OK, that makes as much sense as anything else, I guess. “Why would he suggest you come right to his house to play, rather than meeting for coffee first?” he asked. “Because he knows most women won’t go for that. And if they do, he’ll give them a fake address.”

Takes all kinds, doesn’t it. Yeeeeesh.

So here’s a thought; someone suggested this a while back, but I can’t remember who it was. I have enough CHoS material accumulated from the past few years; what if I pull it all together, organize it and make a book out of it? I could have different chapters, like one just for the age comments, one for those special form letters that go on and on, one for entries from women (yes, I do have them), and so on. Could be fun. Perhaps I could have a chapter of contributions from friends, of their own charming missives.

Something to think about. I can’t seem to find any work, so perhaps that project could keep me from completely losing my mind.

Speaking of losing one’s mind… today at brunch, we were seated near one of the dreaded “large party” tables. Toward the back of the restaurant, there are booths on one side and then across from them are tables pushed together for big families and groups. Sometimes we get lucky and the groups are all adults, but not today. This time, it was a large group of mostly kids, chattering and blasting some game with music pumping on their iPad, laughing, kicking the chairs and making a racket. The two adults at the table ignored them, of course.

They left when we were halfway through our meal, and I realized I hadn’t taken a proper breath since we sat down. Heaving a sigh of relief, I settled down to enjoy the latter half of my brunch. Five minutes later, another (even bigger) party was seated… with even younger children. And a baby. Which was plunked in a high chair at the end of the table closest to us, naturally. He wasted no time in emitting those delightful ear-splitting shrieks that only babies can do, and throwing things on the floor.

“Finish up, honey, and let’s get out of here,” I hissed to John. Our server was so frazzled, she forgot to bring us our check and we had to sit there for several minutes listening to the cacophony.

By the time we got out of there, I was so thoroughly rattled, I walked down the wrong aisle in the parking lot. Got to the end of it where I knew I’d left my car, and… nothing. “John, oh my God, where’s my car??” I cried.

“Sweetie,” he said gently, turning me slightly to look over to the next aisle, where my car was exactly where I’d left it.

I swear, I just wanted to sit down in the middle of the asphalt and scream my head off.

Earlier this week, I was taking an online Myer-Briggs personality test, and one of the items was “Agree/Disagree: I am disturbed and distracted by outside noises.” There needed to be a third option for an answer: “That’s the understatement of the fucking universe.”

It’s not easy being me sometimes, folks. Especially the me who goes crazy with stress over noisy children/babies, loud neighbors, people who talk in movie theaters, music/TV blasters, barking dogs… Considering we live in a world that just hit a population of 7 billion, peace and quiet is getting to be a rare commodity that is attainable only by the very wealthy. (sigh)

Enough of that. It’s very quiet in my apartment tonight. I have a new neighbor moving in next door and I’m all freaked out about that as well, but for tonight, they aren’t here yet.

Tomorrow is Halloween. What’s everyone doing? Or did some of you have parties this weekend? I’m not really into it, myself — i think it’s for kids. But I do love the candy.

Apropos of nothing, if anyone else is feeling down or stressed, take a look at the little clip below. This commercial never fails to make me giggle. I love Jimmy Fallon, and it seems he’s met his match here! Where on earth did they get that kid??

I love how she says one of my favorite words. 😉  Night, y’all.

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14 thoughts on “Sunday blather

  1. Hi Erica,The idea of a CHoS book is super! I would love to read more of your zany correspondence, and I'm sure the archives of MySpace holds a treasure trove of typos!We once made the mistake of going to one of our favourite restaurants on children's night. We nearly left, but the understanding hostess seated us as far away from the clown as possible. Unfortunately, the hideous kids' songs still blasted out of the music system. Now we only go there for lunch! Hugs,Hermione


  2. I'd buy that hilarious book!


  3. Erica,I would love to read a CHoS book! Do it. Please? Pretty please?


  4. Hi Erica, PLEASE write the book cause i would love to read it as well 😀 I hate loud noise too it gives me a headache and makes me nervous,It seems where ever i go there is always some IDIOT yelling or doing something stupid UGH even in my own house i can't have quiet cause of a certain person that is VERY loud (sigh) 😦 Sorry you had to go through all that during your brunch,Cause of those STUPID CRAZY IDIOTS,Have a fun Halloween spanking night with ST 🙂 Can't wait to read about it, Love you big hug's xoxo from your naughty girl Jade


  5. Hermione — Children's night?? Oy. I would have been out of there so fast…Craig — you've read most of it already! :-)Bobbie Jo — I will give it some thought. I certainly have enough material.Jade — kids make noise. Which is why I don't have any. 🙂


  6. LOL. One reason I decided when I was 9 that I wasn't going to have any kids. They make noise. Also they can be somewhat mean. Is that an understatement?


  7. Happy Halloween, Erica! I'm sorry to hear that you made such a horrible experience with that freak and had such a stressful evening as well. I hope you have a great, relaxed day and get a lot of candy!Halloween isn't celebrated as much here in Germany as it is in the US. But I was at a wonderful Halloween party this weekend which meant that I got to spend some time chatting with fantastic friends and had the chance to dress up in a fetish outfit and take some nice pictures. That's how I like Halloween.


  8. Kaelah — Halloween, besides being fun for kids, is a wonderful excuse for us kinkoids to wear our fetish clothes and look perfectly normal. 😀 Glad you had a good time.Not to worry, I have lots of chocolate. Just waiting for ST to get here so I can share it with him.


  9. Long Live CHoS! Be dead or alive! I'm sure you know the real song title/artist. :0I hate the following loud things: children, music, co-workers and neighbors.I attended 2 fun bar parties this weekend and I helped judge a Halloween costume contest Sat night. Some assholes there booed one of our 5 choices. Never mind us-what about the poor guy who may have been embarrassed by the diss! 😦


  10. Kelly — Long Live Rock, the Who. :-)How rude! The person whose costume was booed must have felt awful.


  11. Hiya!I think the CHoS book is a wonderful idea! "Cretins On The Loose!"Well, I spent the last week with several wonderful family gatherings and we may have been an obnoxious loud party ourselves! Naw, we're too cute. And we saved our worst obnoxiousness for home. If you're obnoxious, don't dine out. If you dine out, don't be obnoxious. Wolfie cares.


  12. Wolfie — I agree; I've seen the pictures. Y'all ARE too cute to be obnoxious! 🙂


  13. I think John's theory could be right. Why someone would waste the time to do that is another question. I'd love to read a book dedicated to CHoS. I hear you on the loud parties at restaurants. If I'm going to be with a large group, we try to get seated off to the side or corner by ourselves so that we don't bother people, or have anyone overhear our strange conversations. Lol.


  14. Lea — you know, there's a normal decibel of human conversation, and then there is the DRUNK decibel or the BABY/CHILD decibel or the TEENAGE decibel… you get my drift.


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