Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Jumping on the poetry bandwagon

This weekend for her interactive brunch, Hermione called upon all of us to write some spanking poetry/limericks. I would have loved to contribute to this, but my creativity was buried in nausea. But better late than never, no?

Some of you know I love to write spanko song parodies, but limericks are great fun. I wrote my very first one at nine years old. Why nine? It was a school assignment. And I still remember it. (Disclaimer: this is not PC, and I would never write it now. Forgive me — I was nine, and it was a different time.)

There was a young girl from upstate
Whose stomach would always inflate
She got stuck in the door
And fell through the floor
And decided she’d need to lose weight.

Okay, it’s not Shakespeare. I was nine, FFS. 😛

However, in the interest of staying on topic, and because I am feeling somewhat human once again, I came up with these three today.

There were two sweet brats from Algiers
Who practically begged for red rears
Two gents were on tap
To lend them a lap
And soon they were smiling through tears.

I often love going to town
With my sass, till I garner a frown
From a top whose strong will
I’m attempting to still
But the top will prevail, hands down.

For Valentine’s Day, some love flowers
Or chocolates to munch on for hours
But roses will croak
And toothache’s no joke
But spanking, well, that never sours!

Okay, that last one is lame. You try rhyming flowers and hours.

Thank you, thank you. It’s good to have creative juices running through me again instead of Pepto Bismol.

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19 thoughts on “Jumping on the poetry bandwagon

  1. You are too hard on yourself; these are wonderful!


  2. Those are lovely limericks, I mean it, Erica! Happy Valentine’s! May you day will be as rosy as Peptobismol, in colour only. Lol


  3. Sore — HA! I don’t think I ever want to see that particular shade again! But Happy Heart Day to you too. ♥


  4. Anonymous on said:

    A young lady squandered money at bingo
    Her husband was mad as a dingo
    He threw her face down on the bed
    Paddled her butt till it was red
    His arm kept on drumming like Ringo


  5. What fun!

    I wrote a poem (not a limerick, obviously) after RFK was shot, and it was published in the local paper. Sadly, they included a typo in it. I got a summer job as a proofreader for the paper two weeks later.



  6. hugob00m on said:

    i see you like Limericks, and JeanMarie seems to prefer Haiku.

    Usually, I go for Iambic Pentameter, like, “And cursed be he who first cries, ‘Hold, enough!'” (From Shakespeare’s MacBeth)

    Today, I have a Limerick for you:

    There once was a lady named Scott
    Whose snarkiness soon got her caught
    Tho’ the weather was cold
    T’was no problem, I’m told
    ‘Cause her top turned her bottom-side hot!


  7. I love these, Erica! Such fun.


  8. Anonymous — well done, thank you.

    Hermione — seriously? Wow! That’s impressive. And even better that you got a job out of it!

    Hugo — Ha! That’s a good one.

    Bonnie — right? Once you get started, you get on a roll.


  9. I applaud your memory. I the only thing I remember from that age is the teachers name.


  10. Padd Daddy on said:

    Erica , better known as Scott
    Proved to be a petulant snott
    her bottom was aching
    for a very sound baking
    and in the “dark shadows”
    thats what she got .


  11. I love these, Erica. You are so good at them.



  12. Anonymous on said:

    There was a vibrant, striking beauty with class
    Also endowed with a surfeit of sass
    She would duplicitously use it to charm
    To make a man grab her by the arm
    Put her over his knee, spank her crisply on her a**


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