Well, kids… I did it

Last Sunday.

I did all the research, met with the tattoo artist (Danny) for a consultation. I felt at ease with him from the moment I met him. I explained what I wanted, and he said it was quite doable. I thought “why wait?” and made the appointment.

A friend joined me at the tattoo parlor for moral support, which was very sweet of her. Danny showed me a stencil of what he’d worked up for me, and we positioned and sized it until I thought it was just right. And then he went to work.

It wasn’t nearly as painful as I thought it would be. It stung, but more of an annoyance than really hurting. The noise was minimal too — people had said it would sound like a dentist drill, but it wasn’t anywhere near that loud. The three of us chatted away during the process and I barely noticed what was going on. I had been very nervous going there, but once I got in the chair, calm came over me.

I didn’t look at what he was doing; I didn’t want to see it until it was done. But my friend watched the whole thing and kept exclaiming how pretty it was. When I finally looked at it, I nearly cried. I couldn’t believe I’d actually done it.

Danny then put a clear film of Tegaderm over it, which fit like a second skin. I was to keep that on for 48 hours. So last Tuesday, I got into the shower, let it steam work a bit until I was able to lift a corner of the sheet and then very slowly peel it off. After that, I had special soap for it, and special aftercare lotion.

I could exercise and do pretty much whatever I wanted. The only caveats were no baths or swimming, and no constricting, clingy clothing. No sports bras. For the past week, I’ve been washing and moisturizing it twice a day, and otherwise pretty much leaving it alone. I was told it would probably itch and flake, and might even seep, but so far, there hasn’t been any of that. It just feels like a mild sunburn.

My next hurdle is getting through Valentine’s Day, which is going to be emotionally brutal. John always made a big fuss over it, made me feel so loved and special. (sigh) I wonder if I’ll be able to handle finally going through that drawer and reading some of the Valentine poems and other things he wrote me in the past. In recent years, he wrote a short poem for every day in February. I haven’t been able to go through that drawer yet. Twenty-seven years’ worth of cards and notes and other sweet memories.

And I’m craving play like crazy. Still working on that. In the meantime, I’ve been getting deep-tissue massages to release stress and tension. They feel amazing. Self-care is important.

I am very glad I did this. My own way of keeping John close to my heart forever. ♥

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