Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

I get by…

…with a little help from my friends.

Hey, that’s catchy. Someone ought to set that to music sometime.

This happened a couple of weeks ago, but due to what was going on in the country, I figured I’d postpone it for a while.

We all know the spanking scene is a mixed bag. But one of the things I’ve always loved over the years is the solidarity many of us share. We have each other’s back(sides). And sometimes, it’s not just about playful bratting or what have you. Sometimes, the subjects are serious.

About 3 1/2 years ago, a friend of mine wrote a post on FetLife. In it, she took a bold stance: she stated that she would not play with anyone who is a Trump supporter. She listed her reasons why; it was a well-written, detailed post, no name-calling, just stating her position and why.

As you can imagine, the comments flowed. Some were supportive. Some were neutral. And of course, many others were nasty. I felt like I wanted to do something to support her, so people would see she’s not alone in this stance.

So I posted this picture:

I said I was doing this in solidarity with [her name], and I made it my avatar. Aaaaand the comments rolled in. Most were supportive. But of course, some were nasty.

And then, much to my delight, the incomparable Michael Masterson posted this picture:

He captioned it with “In support of my girl Erica Scott, who has the courage to make her voice heard, I offer you this.” My comment? “I love you, Mike.”

(Sorry about the editing, but the pic was a bit too gynecological. I figured it took away from the message.)

Anyway, cut to the present. I decided it was time to dump the old avatar and put up a new picture. So I chose this one from the end of 2019 (because 2020 was sadly lacking in play).

What is it we FetLife veterans know? No matter what kind of picture you put up, some people aren’t going to like it. And some people won’t hesitate to let you know they don’t like it, and why. You’re wearing panties. You’re not wearing panties. You’re too heavy, you’re too thin, you’re too old, you’re too young, etc. etc. The picture is too graphic. The picture isn’t graphic enough. And of course, one of my favorites: if it shows the results of a spanking, you get the ‘I could have done a better job’ comments.

Sure enough, the picture wasn’t up five minutes when I got this right off the bat:

Not red or bruised enough… just saying. 😉 😉

Really?? And is the “wink, wink” supposed to make it okay?

I mean, come on. If you’re of the persuasion of preferring more graphicly walloped bottoms, you have thousands to choose from on FetLife. Knock yourself out. Go look at the pictures of butts that look like they were pounded with a meat cleaver and then thrown on a barbecue grill, and have a wank-fest. Why bother stopping to comment on mine if you don’t like it?

Sheesh. I hadn’t put up a new picture on Fet in ages, and right out of the gate, I hear from the basement critics. But I didn’t want to start a thing on FetLife, so I didn’t reply to the comment. However, I did go on Twitter and grouse about it, saying that I really wanted to answer, “Who the fuck asked you?” but I’d refrain.

Next thing I knew, my buddy Sarah (not Gregory; a different Sarah I’ve mentioned on here, she of the full-body tackle hugs at parties) tweeted to me: “Allow me… BRB.” And within a minute, I saw I had a notification on Fet of a new comment. I went to look, and nearly fell on the floor.

Below the guy’s comment, Sarah had typed:

[His name]: Who the fuck asked you? 😉 😉

But wait, there’s more: Within minutes, the guy commented back to her. I braced myself for some vitriol, figuring I’d have to step in at some point. But all he wrote was:

Good comment. 🙂

Well, how about that. I chose to interpret that as saying, “Yeahhhh, you’re right, I guess that was kind of a dumb thing to say.” No harm done. And the picture got a lot more attention after that. Sarah, you really do rock. 😀

Not that I spend much time on FetLife these days, anyway. I’m usually there to network about parties, or post about scenes I’ve had. And what with Covid, there’s been none of that. Still… it’s nice to know your friends still look out for you. ♥ I miss everyone so much. The February party has already been canceled, but we are hoping for Labor Day.

Final note: Regarding this week’s momentous occasion, I will say just one thing and then leave it alone.

Four years ago, my stepmother, then 85 and in poor health, was in complete despair over Trump’s presidency. She wrote to me: “I was born during one the country’s darkest times [the Great Depression], and I’m probably going to die during another one.” That broke my heart. I was afraid she wouldn’t stick around; that she’d get so despondent, she’d give up and stop fighting.

Yesterday, she emailed me and said, among other things, “After Biden’s speech, I broke down and sobbed like a child.” She’s now 89. But she’s still with me. She made it. She hung in there long enough to watch us all come out the other side. And I’m so very grateful. It sickened me to the core that the Honorable Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg didn’t live to see this, but damn, this sure helps soothe that pain.

That’s all, folks. Have a great weekend. Stay safe.

Insanity

I wanted to post something fun and playful and very much on topic this week. I had it all planned out. But after yesterday’s insanity, it seems frivolous to even think about posting it. So I will put it on hold.

I am sick down to my soul. Disgusted. Angry. Scared out of my freaking mind about the next two weeks. Shell-shocked and exhausted.

One thing I am not?

Surprised.

On that awful night in November 2016, when I wept all night in fear and dread, I had no clear idea of what would happen. But I knew something awful was coming.

I’d say God help us all, but you know, atheist.

Oh, BTW, the pandemic is still raging and the hospitals in L.A. are maxed out. The blame for that is on you-know-who as well. This could have been avoided.

Please, friends, be safe. Take good care. ♥

My sentiments exactly

Thought I’d keep the last post of the year short and snarky. What else is there to say, really? I could reflect on the year, as many of us do, but I’m just too tired. I want to move on. I want life back. I want to see friends again, play again, go out to eat again, hug people again, pet dogs again. I want whole days, even weeks without crying again. I want to feel safe in my own damn country again.

So. To everyone who is still with me — thanks. Wishing us all a better 2021. ♥ Please be safe.

“Gee, sweetie, you shouldn’t have…”

How was everyone’s Christmas/Hanukkah/whatever? As most of you know, I’m not into the holidays at all and neither is John (and especially not in the train wreck known as 2020), so we playfully celebrate “Festivus” — the Seinfeld-invented holiday. We started with a steel pole a few years ago (the Festivus pole), but each year we keep embellishing it. I wrapped it with festive paper, and John provided what came to be known as the “Festi-duck,” complete in his gold tinsel nest with his Mardi Gras beads.

John attached the pole to two pieces of wood at the bottom so it would stay erect. Last year, he added a tree skirt he found being discarded. Oh, and pine cones. It’s goofy fun.

This year, we didn’t make a big deal out of gifts. He wanted some new sheets, so I ordered a really nice set for him online. As he does every year, he went to a local gourmet shop where they have all kinds of unusual foods, and bought a bag filled with an assortment of treats. He also gave me a gift card and a Patagonia tote bag I can use for my groceries.

Doesn’t our pole look cheery with all the odds and ends and packages?

Here we are, with the Festi-duck appearing to rise out of John’s head. Not the best picture quality. I swear, I’ve worn makeup twice in nine months.

When I delved into the large treat bag, I was thrilled to discover gourmet hot cocoa, cookies, chocolates, English toffee.

And then there was this. Like I said, gee, honey…

I laughed so hard I had a stomachache. Who comes up with stuff like this?? And what flavor are white jelly beans? Not that I’m going to eat them anyway… Leave it to John to find these! And if I’m so damned naughty, when am I going to get a spanking already? (grumble)

I got some other really nice things too, from various friends. Considering the dire circumstances surrounding us all right now, it was nice to be able to forget it all for a little while and share some gifts. I wish I could actually see my friends, but I guess that’s not going to happen for a while yet.

Oh, and for those who follow Seinfeld and are familiar with Festivus traditions, we decided to dispense with the airing of grievances and feats of strength this year. For one thing, the whole freaking year has been one long grievance. And for another, simply surviving 2020 (not to mention four years of Agolf Twitler) was not only a feat of strength, it was fucking Herculean.

I hope everyone stayed safe and well, and were able to enjoy some special moments. ♥

PSA for Tops: We Want Your Hands!

Yesterday, a Twitter friend posted that her husband (to whom she recently came out as a spanko, and who is now learning the joys of topping) had some post-spanking soreness in the palm of his hand. She was putting this out to all of us Twitter spankos, asking if this was caused by a flaw in technique, and what could he do to avoid this?

First, kudos to her husband for being willing to learn about this stuff and make her happy! Out of curiosity, I read through a lot of the replies she got.

About half the guys who answered gave helpful tips or suggestions. Try cupping the hand more, rather than hitting flat-handed. Don’t let the skin dry out. Warm up gradually. And of course, the more you do it, the more your hand toughens up. One man said when he first started, he had bruises and blisters on his hand, but he kept going, slowly building up a tolerance until that no longer happened.

And the other half essentially said to use implements instead. One gentleman said that he will only use his hand for a light good-girl spanking. “The bottom should hurt, not my hand.”

Hmmm. Readers, guess which guys Yours Truly would choose to play with?

Before I get too far into this: for the intents and purposes of this post, I’m going to speak in the M/F orientation, just to keep things simple. That does not mean I’m disregarding other orientations. Anything I suggest in this post should probably be adjusted for female tops. Anatomically, generally speaking, a man’s hand is larger and stronger than a woman’s. (Don’t yell at me that I’m a sexist; I did say generally speaking!) However, for the purpose of being the best possible top, the same advice goes for any gender — toughen your hand.

So I bet there are some of you thinking this is going to be a snarky post, giving tops the business for complaining about how their hands hurt. Break out the world’s smallest violin! Boo-hoo, no pity for you, our butts hurt worse than your hands! Suck it up! Etc. Yeah… that could give some of my fellow bottoms a giggle, but overall, it’s not at all helpful. So this is more of a plea; I am requesting that you guys endeavor to toughen up your hands so that you can deliver a topnotch hand spanking. No top should have to fall back on implements simply because hand spankings make them uncomfortable. This is fixable.

Why is it so important? Well, for one thing — for spankos, hand spanking is golden. I don’t know any bottom who doesn’t love a good hand spanking. Opinions vary about various implements and toys, but I’d be willing to bet that no bottom would say they don’t like the hand. In fact, I’d say many would claim it to be their favorite. Why? It’s the most intimate, for one. There is nothing like the feeling of skin on skin, not to mention the inimitable cracking sound of a palm on a backside. We love the feel of your hand in all its forms — chastising or caressing. The dichotomy of pain and pleasure is all right there, at the end of your arm. You can feel your bottom’s skin for heat, for dryness. You can gauge your strength so much more clearly.

For another thing, as mentioned, not everyone likes implements. Some bottoms are scared of certain ones, like the cane. Newbies to the scene can be intimidated by them. Yeah, I hear some of you out there — “It’s a punishment! They’re not supposed to like it!” Come on. There’s a big difference between loving to hate something (and vice versa), and being just plain terrified and miserable because they really can’t stand what you’re using. If we’re talking a consensual relationship where the bottom has the power to set limits, then yes, it’s a concern if they don’t like certain implements. But would any of them say no to your hand? I think not.

With many implements (particularly those that can wrap), there is a learning curve with them. You can’t just pick up a cane or a heavy paddle or a flogger and start whaling away with it. You have to learn how to use it, how to aim it properly, etc. Implements in the right hands can be sublime and deliciously, painfully effective. In the wrong hands, they can be a damaging disaster.

And finally, unless you’re at a party, or you have a collection of spanking toys, implements are not always readily available. But your hand is.

Most of you know me, but for those who don’t — I am not anti-implements. Far from it. I have felt most of them. I adore some of them. A few are hard limits. But overall, I fully approve of them, and I own several myself. However, my first love is a good, thorough hand spanking. And some of the best tops I’ve known have been ones with hands so seasoned and powerful, they could make me say mercy with their hand alone.

So what are some useful hints for building up hand tolerance? I don’t have personal experience with this as I’m not a top, but these are things I’ve heard over the years.

This sounds ridiculous, but I know tops who have done this and it worked. Get yourself a brick, or a block of something equally resilient. Sit yourself down in front of your favorite binge-streaming show, and slap the brick. Over and over, as hard as you can tolerate. Take a break, and then do it some more. When your hand gets tired, stop. Then do it again tomorrow. Over time, this toughens your hand.

Lift weights? Try going without weight-lifting gloves for a while. Your hands will build calluses. Hell, I lift wimpy girl weights and even my palms have little calluses.

When spanking, warm up slowly/gradually rather than going full strength right out of the gate. This benefits both your hand and your partner’s bottom. (If you’re reading this right now and you’re thinking, “Warm-ups are for sissies” or “I don’t do warm-ups, it’s supposed to be punitive,” you may want to stop reading right here, because this post clearly isn’t for you.)

A lot of newer tops hit the bottom flat-handed, which not only feels lousy to the hand, but it thuds instead of smacks, which sucks. Try cupping your hand to the bottom; run your hand over the cheeks, get the feel for the roundness, and shape your hand to it.

Have lotion available and keep your hand moisturized. If the skin gets too dry, it’s a prime setup for it to break open. And no, guys — using lotion is not “girly.” (Think I’m kidding? I’ve actually heard this.)

If your hand feels tender/sore afterward, ice can be helpful; it reduces inflammation.

And above all — Please. Don’t. Stop. Keep practicing. Keep persevering. Your hand strength will build up. But you have to give it a chance. And you have to really want to give your partner what they crave… a long, thorough, delicious, intimate, hurts-so-good hand spanking.

If anyone has suggestions I didn’t mention (other than “shut up, Erica, we’ll top how we please,” of course) please chime in with a comment.

I’m reminded of a party story from a couple of years ago; I know I mentioned it in one of my party reports, but it bears repeating. It was a Sunday night, the final blow-out, and I was doing a late-night scene with one of my favorite tops/friends. Afterward, because it was the end of the weekend and I was tired and feeling emotional, I started to cry, so he held me for a long time. Then he whispered, “Wanna see something?” “Okay,” I said. He then held up his right hand. Holy cow. There was no broken skin… but his entire hand was mottled-looking, speckled with small bruises and red dots, all over the palm, up and down the fingers. It looked excruciating. He then quipped, “For once, I can say this and really mean it: This hurt me more than it hurt you.”

And of course, I started giggling madly through my tears. Now there’s a trouper. (And yes, that’s the correct spelling in this context, not trooper.) There’s a dedicated spanker.

So please, all you toppy types out there who want to give the best spanking possible. If you love us — toughen your hands. ♥

Uh oh, check the calendar…

Guess what time it is?

Yup — it’s Christmas carol spanko parody time! How many years have I been doing this? I’ve lost track. But if you’re a newer reader and aren’t familiar with this tradition, you can check out a couple from years past here and here.

This year, I chose “The Little Drummer Boy.” Yeah, I know, that’s kind of cheating, since half of it is the same line over and over. But screw it, it’s 2020 — it’s the best I could do. Besides, I added a couple of extra verses to make up for it.

And really, “pa rum pum pum pum pum” simply begged for a spanko interpretation.

I really don’t know what to call this parody, but here’s my kind of drummer boy…

So, without any further ado… (throat clearing)… ♪ Mi mi mi mi ♫…

Come and spank me
Pa rump-a-thump pum
I am a brat, you see
Pa rump-a-thump pum
The finest straps you bring
Pa rump-a-thump pum
To wield and make me sting
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
So, again, please come
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Spank my bum

Come on, baby
Pa rump-a-thump pum
I know you need it too
Pa rump-a-thump pum
My hand will give you sting
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Before the strap I’ll swing
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Shall I curb your sass
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Through your ass?

So, I nodded
Pa rump-a-thump pum
I’d gone too far this time
Pa rump-a-thump pum
I laid across his lap
Pa rump-a-thump pum
And heard a mighty WHAP
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Then I felt the heat
Pa rump-a-thump pum
On my seat

Oh, my bottom
Pa rump-a-thump pum
His hand was oh so hard
Pa rump-a-thump pum
My moans the town could hear
Pa rump-a-thump pum
He strapped my tender rear
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
“Have you had enough?”
Pa rump-a-thump pum
KISS MY DUFF!


“Now, you’re getting more!”
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Till I was red and sore
Pa rump-a-thump pum
I sassed my worst for him
Pa rump-a-thump pum
He spanked his best for me
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Then a tear broke free
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Over his knee

I’m so sorry
Pa rump-a-thump pum
I’ll be your good girl now
Pa rump-a-thump pum
His hand caressed my hair
Pa rump-a-thump pum
“It’s time for aftercare”
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Then I purred for him
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Me and my bum

Hope you enjoy! And happy/joyous/merry who-cares-we’re-not-doing-anything-anyway.

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