Correspondence Hall of Shame, 8/13
First CHoS on my new blog! Before I get started, however, I have a few more thanks to bestow.
I’ve already thanked Richard and Bonnie for their blog entry shout-outs to me, and now I can add Craig, Juju and Zelle to the list. OK, now people must truly be sick of me. Who is this Erica and why is she on every damn blog I look at? 🙂 Thanks, guys. Oh, and all those MySpace jokes? Pretty damn funny.
Also, thanks to Marie for sending me a reduced version of my photo. The original size was just a bit much–you could count every freckle on my forearm, for God’s sake.
I don’t have many entries this week for a CHoS, but I simply had to post one, so I thought it would be fun to go back into my old blog archives and find the very first CHoS. It dates back to April 20, 2007–can’t believe I’ve been doing this for over three years!
Pasted below is the introductory column. Anyone remember it?
As y’all have seen, I get some pretty tacky and obnoxious messages/emails/IMs sometimes. I have often said I’m going to compile them and write a book, but I can’t do that if I don’t keep track of them. Therefore, I’m starting a new feature here: Whenever I get a really good (bad) one, I’m posting it in the Correspondence Hall of Shame.
I was going to call it the Idiot/Boor/Clueless Jackass of the Week, or something like that, but sometimes I get more than one in a week, and other weeks I get none. So, I’ll just post them when the mood strikes.
I will NOT use any names. And if someone writes me a well-intentioned and polite note, I won’t post it just because it has poor spelling/grammar. This isn’t about ridiculing people; it’s just about expressing my frustration with artless correspondence. And hopefully to make a few of you laugh, and nod your heads in commiseration!
Today, we have two. The first one was sent on my Alt.com profile. I am very specific on that profile–I make sure the readers know I’m looking for spanking only, I’m not seeking sex, I’m not a submissive, etc. But still, I get notes like this one:
I like to warm up a sexy ass before I gently fuck it. If anal is a hard limit, I may allow you to give me a nice blowjob as a reward for all the work I put into “tanning your ass.”
Isn’t that classy! Hello… did I say anything about wanting sex, anal or otherwise? And you’ll allow me to give you a blowjob? Excuse me, pal, but spanking me isn’t work, it’s a privilege. :-Þ
And here’s our second offering:
I would like to put a firm hand on that bueatiful rear end.Some things about me. I had a prostate promblem so my dick dosnt work so good. That is way i am looking for new ways of entainment.
(groaning) Can you say TMI, kids?
Yes, these are real. You may now wipe the spewed coffee/tea/whatever off your computer monitor.
And here are the newest entries:
u are amazing at 52
(sigh) Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m a walking miracle. We all know that 52 is ancient. (looking around) Where is this cat of which you speak?
|Oh, there she is. Leave her the hell alone.|
asrwe you going to las vegas
|See how much fun I have reading all this stupidity?|