What time is it, kids? It’s Xmas carol parody time! My faithful readers out there know that I do one of these every year. (For a refresher, here’s last year’s efforts.) My offering for this year is brief, but you know, Covid and all the other BS kind of put a stopper in my creative flow. Still, the show must go on.
Some of you may recall that a couple of years ago, I parodied “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer” with “Donald, the Orange Menace.” But that didn’t really count, since it was politically oriented and had nothing to do with our favorite pastime. So this year, I present to you, “Rudolph, the Red-Palmed Spanker.” Oh… and yes, this is written in M/F orientation. Sorry, y’all, that’s just how I roll.
You know paddles that sting you and canes that can ding you,
Brushes and straps and the pain that they bring you,
But do you recall
The hardest spanker of all?
Rudolph the Red-Palmed Spanker
Had a very heavy hand
And if you ever felt it
You would swear that it’s a brand
All of the small-town housewives
Used to laugh and sneer “That’s lame,”
They never let their husbands
Play in any kinky games
Then one night the men got peeved
And they came to say
“Rudolph, with your hand of might
Won’t you spank our wives tonight?”
Now all the brats respect him
And they line up for his knee
Rudolph, the Red-Palmed Spanker,
Takes their panties down with glee!
And so it goes, another year. At least we’re having some seasonal weather here in CA for a change and I got to blow the dust off my sweaters. No holiday plans, but you know me… not my thing anyway. Doing my best to avoid the endless loops of Xmas music and schmaltzy commercials, and hoping that my kind of fun will be happening soon. Be safe and well, everyone. Happy holidays of your choosing. Scrooge out.