Uh oh, check the calendar…
Guess what time it is?
Yup — it’s Christmas carol spanko parody time! How many years have I been doing this? I’ve lost track. But if you’re a newer reader and aren’t familiar with this tradition, you can check out a couple from years past here and here.
This year, I chose “The Little Drummer Boy.” Yeah, I know, that’s kind of cheating, since half of it is the same line over and over. But screw it, it’s 2020 — it’s the best I could do. Besides, I added a couple of extra verses to make up for it.
And really, “pa rum pum pum pum pum” simply begged for a spanko interpretation.
I really don’t know what to call this parody, but here’s my kind of drummer boy…

So, without any further ado… (throat clearing)… ♪ Mi mi mi mi ♫…
Come and spank me
Pa rump-a-thump pum
I am a brat, you see
Pa rump-a-thump pum
The finest straps you bring
Pa rump-a-thump pum
To wield and make me sting
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
So, again, please come
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Spank my bum
Come on, baby
Pa rump-a-thump pum
I know you need it too
Pa rump-a-thump pum
My hand will give you sting
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Before the strap I’ll swing
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Shall I curb your sass
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Through your ass?
So, I nodded
Pa rump-a-thump pum
I’d gone too far this time
Pa rump-a-thump pum
I laid across his lap
Pa rump-a-thump pum
And heard a mighty WHAP
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Then I felt the heat
Pa rump-a-thump pum
On my seat
Oh, my bottom
Pa rump-a-thump pum
His hand was oh so hard
Pa rump-a-thump pum
My moans the town could hear
Pa rump-a-thump pum
He strapped my tender rear
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
“Have you had enough?”
Pa rump-a-thump pum
KISS MY DUFF!
“Now, you’re getting more!”
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Till I was red and sore
Pa rump-a-thump pum
I sassed my worst for him
Pa rump-a-thump pum
He spanked his best for me
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Then a tear broke free
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Over his knee
I’m so sorry
Pa rump-a-thump pum
I’ll be your good girl now
Pa rump-a-thump pum
His hand caressed my hair
Pa rump-a-thump pum
“It’s time for aftercare”
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Rump-a-thump pum
Then I purred for him
Pa rump-a-thump pum
Me and my bum
Hope you enjoy! And happy/joyous/merry who-cares-we’re-not-doing-anything-anyway.